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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Are you Emotionally Wealthy?

You heard me right. I mean wealthy, not just healthy. Therapy is not just about mental illness, it is about mental and emotional health and in my book it’s about emotional wealth. I believe we are all capable of emotional wealth. What are the hallmarks of the emotionally wealthy person?

Look at the following characteristics and descriptions. See how many you answer “yes”.

• Are you emotionally strong?
• Are you passionate?
• Can you grieve deeply and love fiercely?
• Can you tolerate fear and overcome it?
• Can you channel your righteous anger into right action?
• Can you use your petty anger as a mirror for growth?
• Can you tell the difference?
• Are you living with your whole heart and soul?
• Can others lean on you without breaking you?
• Can you maintain your equanimity when things go right, when things go wrong, when things get boring and when things get chaotic?
• Are you honest with yourself and others about your feelings and beliefs?
• Can you tolerate disapproval and disappointment?
• Can you face your dark side: greed, envy, jealousy, shame, anger, fear, intolerance, laziness, judgment, and superiority? And can you embrace your dark side in order to transform it?
• Can you sit still with your impulse to act and move when you feel scared or stuck?
• Can you handle your emotions without stuffing them through food, alcohol, smoking or other addictions?
• Do you give your love to another freely and without strings?
• Do you receive love openly and defenselessly?
• Do you face pain with courage and fortitude?
• Can you love fully even though doing so involves the risk of loss?
• Can you set and keep boundaries even in the face of disapproval from others?
• Can you generate right action even when you are tired, lazy or scared or depressed?
• Do you genuinely like yourself most of the time?

These are some of the hallmarks of emotionally wealthy people. None of us is perfect, and I have yet to meet the person who could do all of these things all of the time. When clients seek therapy, however, they take away from it many of these characteristics. They become emotionally wealthier and these benefits last a life time. For many, this is the most important thing they get from counseling. If you answered no to some of these questions, consider how much richer your life would be if you could answer yes to all of them.

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