Envision a Better Future

Visualization can be a powerful tool to help you improve your current circumstances, but it can also help you to be more purposeful about moving toward a brighter future. This can be especially effective if you often feel nervous, anxious or doubtful about your ability to improve your life.



To begin, find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed and take a few minutes to quiet your mind and relax your body. If you like, you can put on some soothing music or simply enjoy the silence.



Take a few slow, deep breaths and imagine that you are releasing all tension, stress and worry from your body. As you inhale, envision soft golden light flowing into your lungs and spreading throughout your body, warming and relaxing you. As you exhale, imagine that you’re purging feelings of fear, anxiety and disharmony from your body. Stay with this deep breathing technique for as long as it takes to feel fully relaxed and calm.



Then, call to mind an image of the type of future you’d like to have. Include as much detail as you can, and focus on all of the important aspects of your life such as your career, financial situation, family situation, and so on.



Imagine yourself living in this future time, waking up first thing in the morning and going through your daily experiences. Focus especially on how you look and feel in this better future. Do you appear happy, productive, inspired, purposeful, confident? Are you living the life you truly want to lead? How does it feel?



Take your time with this exercise, going through each experience and enjoying it as much as you can. By the time you finish, you should be feeling very inspired and positive about your life!



Not only does this exercise make you feel more hopeful and positive about your future, it can also inspire you to take the actions that will eventually usher in those future circumstances!



Even when you return to your normal activities, be sure to keep calling those positive mental images to mind as often as you can, and focus on being the person who was living in that better future. Rather than feeling pessimistic about your current circumstances, affirm that you are creating something better with your visualization exercises.



Since visualization works better if you’re consistent with it, try to make this a daily practice if you can. Even just 10 minutes a day of focusing on these positive images and experiencing the corresponding feelings they invoke can help you bring forth great changes in your life

Empower Yourself Through Any Setback

Everyone faces challenges in business and in life. And even positive experiences such as getting a promotion or finding Mr. or Ms. Right can present you with challenges. For example, a new position brings new responsibilities and sometimes new headaches, and a new love interest poses the challenge of having to compromise with another person when you’re used to doing things your way.

The key to overcoming any challenge is to empower yourself through the event. In fact, life’s challenges and adversities can be one of the most inspiring, creative, and resourceful periods of your life, if you only take the steps to focus on the positive and not the negative. Unfortunately, most people have a pre-programmed, download of emotions that dictates how they react to challenges, changes, and transitions. And the majority of times these emotions are not positive.

Rather, they are based on resistance and fear, and they put people in the position of reacting and not being able to turn around and direct the situation. For example, let’s suppose you just got fired from your job unexpectedly. You honestly thought you were doing good work, you actually liked your job, and you had planned to stay there for a long time. Then one day your boss taps you on the shoulder and shows you the door. The natural emotions you probably feel are fear, sadness, and anger. “How am I going to pay the bills?” you lament. “What will happen to me and my family?” “How could they do this to me?” While these are normal initial emotions, you have to realize that you getting fired from your job could be a blessing in disguise, because there is always something better out there for you…you just have to look for it.

The following tips will helps you gain the confidence to face life’s challenges head on and turn them around into opportunities for growth.

1. Accept that challenges are a learning tool. Challenges educate you about yourself. They define your values and clarify what’s important to you. During any challenge is the perfect time to re-create your life, because challenges force you out of your comfort zone. When people get into a comfort zone, they don’t like to mix it up. Most people will stay in their comfort zone because although there’s not a lot of pleasure, there’s not a lot of pain either. But when you get uncomfortable, you find that you have resources, gifts, and talents that you haven’t even tapped yet. During times of challenge you have the ideal opportunity to turn the events around and create the life or professional situation you truly want to live.

2. Be mindful of your self-talk. When overcoming your pre-programmed, download of emotions and re-creating yourself, you need to watch how you speak to yourself. For example, if you got fired from your job, you may hear yourself saying, “I’m a lousy employee.” “No one will ever want to hire me.” “I have no marketable skills.” Such negative self-talk will only keep you in a negative state and will cause you to sabotage your own efforts. Therefore, focus on building yourself up through affirmations. Some good examples of affirmations for our job loss example are: “I am a committed, dedicated employee.” “I have an excellent employer with benefits.” “I am a knowledgeable person with a great deal of experience in my field.” “I am honest and have integrity and maintain that in the workplace.” Make sure your affirmations focus on the skills or traits that will help you overcome your current challenge. Write your affirmations down on 3x5 cards and keep them with you at all times. Say them first thing in the morningand before you go to bed at night. Also, anytime during the day when a negative thought enters your mind, start saying your affirmations. Soon you will believe your new self-talk and you’ll have confidence in yourself again.

3. Visualize where you want to be or what you want in life. The human brain does not know the difference between that which is real and that which is imagined. So visualize the perfect scenario for yourself. Since we tend to draw to us things that we think about, you can start to re-create your life by simply visualizing what you want. As an added benefit, visualization also helps you define your values and beliefs. When you visualize the new job position you want, for example, you can create a picture of the type of company you want to work for and get a better idea of what’s important to you. Now, if an opportunity arises that puts you in a place that’s opposite of what you visualize, you can better decide whether it’s a right move for you.

4. Surround yourself with a supportive environment. Face it, some people in your life are toxic to your success: people who are negative, who frustrate you, who sabotage your efforts, and who try to hold you back. You need to distance yourself from these people, even if it means hurting their feelings or damaging the relationship permanently. If the toxic person is a close family member, this step can be difficult, but it will free you to experience positive things in life. After all, when you’re trying to come back from a challenge, the only resource you have is your mind.

Therefore, you have to protect your thoughts and your speech, and you do that by getting rid of people who are negative and toxic. Remember that some people love to complain and want company for their misery. And as much as they seem to love you, they will sabotage you because your success intimidates them. It’s easier for them to keep you down on their level. But this is your life and you have to live it for yourself, not anyone else. So focus on the positive people in your life and ignore the negative ones. Once you do, you’ll see a marked improvement in your current situation.

5. Open yourself up to new possibilities and paths. Remember, a challenge can be one of the most creative times in your life. Therefore, give yourself permission to think beyond the obvious. After a job loss, for example, you might think to start your own business or to do something you’ve been putting off for years, like take a year off and hike through Europe. Look beyond what you’re accustomed to and let yourself dream for once. As you do so, just ponder the new experiences and realize that you don’t have to act on the first thing you think of. Use your positive support network as a sounding board for ideas. You may just stumble upon a new life path that leads to greater fulfillment and success than ever before.

Shift Your Situation Today

The bottom line is that challenges don’t have to make your miserable. When your confidence has been shaken due to a sudden turn of events, following these five tips will help you make it through the rough time and maintain your confidence. After all, you can’t go from surviving to thriving if you’re stuck wallowing in self-pity. So put these five tips to work today. When you do, you’re bound to have a more enjoyable tomorrow…no matter what the situation.

The Woman's Rules!!!

A special one for all the ladies... I just love this, I have read it before and think we all need some humour in our lives from time to time so enjoy this one just for fun...

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The female may change her mind at any given time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. Any attempt made to document, destroy or throw THE RULES away could result in bodily harm.

15. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

17. The female is ready when she is ready

18. The male must be ready at all times.

19. The male who doesn’t abide by The Rules can’t take the heat, lacks backbone and is a wimp.

20. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

Connect With Your Source

Who looks outside – dreams. Who looks inside - awakes. Carl Gustav Jung

The single most important thing you can do in your life is to connect with your source. Greater than anything you desire, connecting with source allows you to develop a relationship with the Infinite Wisdom of the Universe. By staying connected you will be in the flow and everything comes easily and quickly to you.

You’ve heard it said, go with the flow. This doesn’t mean follow the masses – it means to connect with your source and go with its flow – which is unique for each and every one of us. Where do you think you really come from? Your parents? Yes, you share their DNA – and your body comes from their joining. But where does the you that stares out from behind those eyes live? In your cells, in your DNA, your central nervous system? Do you live in your mind? Are you your mind? Have you ever noticed that when you experience anything – a feeling – a moment – an event or circumstance – and that while you participate and enjoy or not these things that occur; that part of you sits back and watches everything? Many call this the observer, the witness, your spirit, your soul, whatever name you choose - it is that part of you that is always connected to source – it stands back and witnesses everything.

Your eternal being resides here and always stays in direct communication with source for without that connection you would die. If we are always connected – why must we then connect? Does this seem confusing to you? Yes, you are always connected with source, period and nothing can sever that relationship. But the part of you that stays connected is not in your conscious mind.

When I talk about connecting with source, I mean consciously. For too long we have made the part of our being that is connected with source sit in the back of the bus. Like Mrs. Parks, a time comes when that part of you simply cannot take being ignored any more. What happens? Many things – your life falls apart, you get sick, things don't go your way – you lose your job, your lover, your house, whatever is consuming your life. The Father Mother God of Your Being won't stay in the back of the bus for long – especially if something in you awakens – the sleeper must awaken. Yes, you can have all that you desire – but not at the cost of your soul.

The relationship with source is different for everyone. It doesn't take your believing in source for source to empower your being. Nor can you tell another person how their relationship with source is supposed to be. It is a very individual experience. It is the most intimate of relationships you will ever experience. Source never leaves you, never lies to you, and never makes you feel guilty. Source loves you unconditionally and always says yes to you – even if your belief is such that you feel the universe says no.

The universe will support whatever you believe to be true. An important fact to understand: the universe always says yes even when you perceive it to be no. When you experience no, what you are experiencing is your belief in no so the universe says yes by supporting your no. You define your world. Source does not do that for you. Source is not your ego, your personality or any trait or characteristic of your being. Source is not your belief structure or your religious undertakings. Source is Divine Infinite Wisdom. Some call It God, Energy, Allah, Yahweh – it is known by many names or none.

You can ask your source about anything and it will answer. It answers by giving you a feeling. If you feel calm and peaceful – that is your answer – which can be interpreted as yes. If you feel more confused and at unrest – this can be interpreted as no. As you develop your own relationship with your source you will find what form of communication works for you. There are no hard and set rules and this is a very personal relationship – one that no-one but you and source together share.

The point I am making is this: more than a body, more than a personality, or an ego, you are a divine child of the universe with an eternal spirit. Eternal. E-tern-al. You come from source, you exist because of source, and someday you return to source. Critical for your well-being as well as for your endeavors in this journey of creating your reality and learning to become the real you - the divine child of the universe - connecting with your source is a step you must make on your own. This is a very personal journey, no man; woman or child can come between you and your Source. Death cannot separate you from your source. Source is the very source of your being.

The part of you that does not reside in the physical realm – the part of you that constantly maintains twenty-four hour access to all things, known and unknown, seen and unseen stands a mere breath away. I read somewhere once that “of God” - Spiritos – means to exhale – while "man" means inhale. How much closer to source can you get? Consciously attach yourself to your source. Give thanks to your source for the ability to breathe in and out. Start your day by giving thanks for everything in your life, both the wanted and unwanted. Write a list of five things you are grateful for every day and watch your life change! Give thanks for everything you can see, taste, touch, smell, hear, or sense, for without your source you would not exist.

Step outside, right this minute, whether it is on your porch, your doorstep, your curb, your backyard, your front yard or in the street. Go outside and look up. Look at the sun or the clouds, the moon and stars and notice everything not made by man. This, in its simplest form, is the divine expression of source. And then realize that the Creator of All This - propels you, powers you, gives you being on this planet. The same energy that made the stars made you. The same energy that powers the universe powers you.

To quote Joni Mitchell, "you are stardust, you are golden."

Are you any less than one of these? You are loved. And you are known. It is time for you to know yourself. Excerpted from The Little Book of Becoming, ©2007 Laurie J. Brenner

Achieve Your Goals By Expecting Miracles Instead Of Debacles

How many times have you had a bad day when everything seemed to go wrong at the worst possible moment? You failed to achieve most of your goals and felt that the universe was against you.

Perhaps, the universe was to blame or perhaps you were to blame because you expected things to go wrong. We might be able to avoid such debacles by expecting miracles instead. In case anyone is wondering, one dictionary defines a 'debacle' as a 'total and often ludicrous failure.' 'Miracle' in this article simply means 'something wonderful'.

Earlier during the year, my first goal of the day was to change the fluorescent tube light which is high on the ceiling over my desk. I expected the following might go wrong:

The small step ladder might break under my weight as I used it to climb on to my desk just as the attic ladder had collapsed under me a few months ago. I might even get my foot trapped within the ladder like a neighbour whose foot was nearly amputated by her own metal ladder. She retained her foot by holding it in place until help arrived but has had endless problems and pain for years as a result of this one unfortunate accident.

If the ladder did not collapse, I thought the desk might collapse if I had to put all my weight on it. My computer would then hit the floor with major damage and so would my monitor not to mention the phone and everything else on my desk. I would also hurtle to the floor breaking several bones and ending up in agony and even a state of paralysis for life!

Even if the desk did not collapse, I might not be able to fit the light tube into the holes at each end of the light fitting and, even if I did, the light might not work and/or the electric fitting might catch fire! The fitting had seemed to glow red as the previous light tube expired!

I am exaggerating but only a little and I would not have tried to change the light tube if I had really believed that everything would go wrong. However, I still believed a watered down version of Murphy's law that some things that could go wrong might go wrong at the worst possible moment and I nearly gave up on my goal before I even started. I could have used a lamp instead of changing the fluorescent light. In the event, everything went right although at times I struggled. The ladder and the desk held up under my full weight and the fluorescent light is now shining brightly above me. Goal achieved.

When I moved on to open my emails, in triumphant mood, I came across one which had a new law inside which I much prefer to Murphy's: "Everything that CAN go right WILL go right. Expect Miracles!"

The mail called it Bijan's law after it's author and added the following comment: "I came across this today and really liked it. I hope you liked it too. It's my philosophy, but I like the way Bijan phrases it."

I, also, prefer Bijan's law to Murphy's law. It can motivate you to get a move on with your goals. However, Murphy's law can still be a useful law in achieving your goals. It repays closer study

Murphy's law is a well known saying that broadly states that things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance. The law, thus, gives us fair warning not to leave things to chance. Instead we should prepare well and practice whatever we are planning to do especially if we are performing in public. We should avoid both hurry and worry.

The British stage magician Nevil Maskelyne discovered this for himself. He wrote in 1908: "It is an experience common to all men to find that, on any special occasion, such as the production of a magical effect for the first time in public, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Whether we must attribute this to the malignity of matter or to the total depravity of inanimate things, whether the exciting cause is hurry, worry, or what not, the fact remains."

The law that produces this kind of experience has been around for a long time but after 1952, the name 'Murphy' was attached to it possibly when some measuring devices invented by Edward Murphy went wrong.

The perversity, or apparently deliberate tendency to mess things up, of the universe has long been commented on, and forerunners to the modern version of Murphy's law are not hard to find. For example, an Ohio newspaper printed this poem in 1841: "I never had a slice of bread, Particularly large and wide, That did not fall upon the floor, And always on the buttered side."

Designers of all kinds of products have long recognized the tendency of people as well as the universe to mess things up. Murphy's law has encouraged them to use defensive design i.e. to make things so simple and easy to use that even the greatest idiot can use them successfully.

For example, the 3.5-inch floppy disk once used in many computers will not easily fit into the drive unless it is put in the right way up. In contrast, the older 5.25-inch floppy disk could be inserted in a variety of ways that might damage the disk or drive.

The newer CD-ROM and DVD formats permit one incorrect orientation - the disc may be inserted upside-down, which is harmless to the disc. A defensive designer knows that if it is possible for the disc to be inserted the wrong way, someone will eventually try it.

An awareness of Murphy's law can then help all human beings especially the stupid ones to achieve their goals! I have, since my teenage years, classed myself amongst the technically stupid ones. I now realize that no one should think of themselves as stupid in connection with any skill or area of knowledge because if you consistently think of yourself as stupid you tend to become so and make only half-hearted efforts to improve.

Another example of defensive design can be seen in car design. Car designers have allowed for the tendency of some drivers to drive badly. They have created safety features like seat belts which will limit the damage caused by accidents.

So then, let's expect miracles by visualising the wonderful things that could happen rather than worrying about possible disasters that might well not happen. But let's also be aware of the problems that might bite us, if we do not take all necessary precautions.

Make sure that there are no shark fins around if you go for a swim in the sea and don't forget to check that the swimming pool is full of water before you dive into it. I have heard about at least one person who dived into an empty pool without checking simply because it had been full of water the day before! I am not sure if that story is true or not but would not be surprised if it was.

If you are doing business with somebody, make sure they are not a 'shark' who will just take your money. On the other hand, you need to trust and expect the best from some people or it will take a long time to achieve anything. If you love alcohol, avoid too much to drink or the world will literally become your playground as you fall and slip all over the place like a confused child. If you are a workaholic, get some rest or the same thing will happen!

Hopefully, your life will be full of goal achievement and miracles rather than debacles. Think daily of Bijan's law but, occasionally, remember Murphy's law and take steps to keep any debacles to a minimum.

Expect things to go right as you strive to achieve your goals and you are far more likely to achieve them. It is also worth remembering this great quote: "Life is not numbered by the amount of breaths we take but by the moments which take our breath away." Such moments constitute the miracles - the wonderful things, events, experiences and people - we should be expecting and appreciating every day of our lives.

A Special Tribute to all Mother's on this Mother's Day

Mother's are the most important individuals in our lives. We begin our lives completely dependent on them for our every need. In fact, many believe that we search for aspects of the mother-child relationship throughout our entire lives. Love it or hate it, she was your first love and will never be gone from your heart. You will never be gone from her heart either. Try telling her not to love you, try telling to her to forget you existed. It is impossible. Unless you are a mother yourself, you will never understand the intensity of the love between Mother and Child.

So to all Mothers out there today, here’s hoping you have one of the most awesome Mother’s Days ever and a poem found just for you.

Thank-you
Thank you for being there for me
You are the air that I breathe
You had many chances to leave
You stuck by me during the hard times
I'm so happy that you are mine
Because of you my life is fine
You was there for me during the snow and rain
You even stayed during the pain
You're the best person that I know
I love it when your love shows
You were there when we were rich
You even stuck by me when we fell in a ditch
You was there when I had a frown
You turned it upside down
You gave me money when I was poor
Even though I ask for more
Even though the many times I lied
You made me happy when I cried
You gave me a roof over my head
Those many times you tucked me in bed
Because of you I'm not dead
Because of you I'm not on the streets
You kept me cool during the heat
You gave me shoes for my feet
You gave me everything I got
And you know that that's a lot
Even though all the times I did wrong
You stuck by me all this long
I'm happy today
Because this special day
Is in the month of May
Happy Mother's day


Love is nature's threads
embroidered in children, stitch
by stitch by a mother.

Thinking Up A New Reality

Our spiritual growth has brought us to a point where we know we are creating our reality as we go along. Let us use this spirituality information to think up a reality that serves us and all of humanity.

This article is called “Thinking Up A New Reality”' so we are going to shake up our thinking here a bit. We are going to change the way we are thinking and think different thoughts. Let's get in the same league as Albert Einstein and make him proud. What the heck, let's make ourselves proud. All it takes is a thought of pride. Is that a different thought than you have been thinking?

Forward, onward, don't look back because that is what your ego wants you to do. The ego rules your past, the sacred self rules the present moment.

Whenever I think about the ego, I always come up with this visualization of a person who is trying to make a decision and there is a miniature version of that person on one shoulder dressed up as the devil and a miniature version of the person on the other shoulder dressed up as an angel.

The little devil image is pushing the person to do what he knows is not in his best interest, while the little angel image is reminding the person what the more altruistic choice would be. The way we have structured our society has allowed us to “cheer on” the little devil. We basically scoff at the goodie two-shoes angel figure and side with the character giving us bad advice.

When we make a decision that does not serve us we usually say that “the devil made me do it” and just laugh it away as something that we had no choice over. But wait a minute. That's not being very honest with ourselves. We did have choice. Remember the “angel” figure on the other shoulder? We could have listened to this voice just as easily as we listened to the “little devil” voice. It's all a matter of choice.

What is it that makes us choose to give the “little devil,” the ego, more say in the affairs of our lives than the valid perspective of the “little angel,” our sacred self?

Think about that. Remember, we are thinking up a new reality.

Does it serve us to listen to the ego? In my experience of life it rarely serves me. Sometimes, in the short-term, I will see some benefits come my way that seem to fulfill an immediate need, but when that short-term need is fulfilled the ego wants more. Then, as time goes by, the short-term gratification that came from satisfying my ego is replaced by a realization that my long-term intentions and desires were subverted by the short-term gain. One step forward, two steps back.

Wait a minute. Didn't we just say that we're not going to look back? Let's keep moving forward. One step at a time in the present moment of now.

So where does this ego belong on the spectrum of our belief system? We have revealed to ourselves that there are two paradigms of belief that are available to us. One paradigm says that we are separate from each other, separate from all the physical things that make up the universe and separate from God. The other paradigm says that we are one with all people, one with everything that exists and one with God.

All of our ego-based choices are designed to make us think we are separate beings who have to fend for ourselves because “it's a jungle out there” and the best way to take care of yourself is to believe in the law of “the survival of the fittest.”

Remember, we are here in the realm of the physical universe for a purpose. Our mission is to experience life in all of its different perspectives in order for God to know, through our experiences, all that she knows of as concepts. That is the purpose of our existence.

Let us begin the process of creating the “experience” of “thinking up a new reality.”

Discipline Yourself to Success

When working toward goals or striving for success in any endeavor, self-discipline is one vital quality you need to have. Most of us cringe at the thought because it brings to mind instant visions of sacrifice, difficulty and strain.

However, discipline doesn’t have to be so hard. The problem occurs when you try to go from having no self-discipline to forcing yourself to undertake a heavy load of responsibility. Talk about pressure!

Below are three easy ways to become more disciplined with a minimum of discomfort:

1) First, change your attitude about discipline. One reason you may not be disciplined is because you think the activities or chores you need to do will be unpleasant in some way. The most common reaction to thoughts like that is to put the activities aside or avoid them until you feel ready to handle them.

Instead, pump yourself up and get motivated to get them done as soon as possible! Look forward to the challenge and keep affirming how great you’ll feel when you’re finished. Focus on the sense of personal accomplishment you’ll gain with every task and you’ll be much more likely to stick to your plans.

2) Make self-discipline a gradual process. Rather than trying to force yourself into submission with a big list of tasks or activities, go a little easier on yourself to start.

Identify one small task or activity that you can use for practice. Make it something fairly easy to accomplish each day, and then make sure you do it. If you have to, post notes of encouragement everywhere or wear an elastic band around your wrist as a reminder. If possible, get this one task out of the way first thing in the morning before you do anything else. Make it your highest priority and it will soon become a solid habit.

Then, begin adding more tasks or activities – or increase the size or frequency of the original task so you’re doing more each day. Little by little, keep increasing it like that and eventually you’ll find that you’re doing the things you set out to do without excuses or procrastination.

3) Commitment. If you’re not fully committed to achieving your goals, you’ll probably have a harder time pushing yourself to work on them. Make a solemn vow to yourself that you will do what it takes to work on your goals every single day. Write a list of important action steps and make it your mission to do one or more of them each day. Re-commit yourself as often as necessary to make sure you stick to your plans.

More than anything else, self-discipline is a favorable result of a series of wise decisions that you make each day. Choose to be disciplined, choose to be successful – and you will be!

4 Quick Tips to Improve your Self Confidence

Self confidence is akin to a tool. It provides you with a sense of certainty, and helps you to manage your fears. Self confidence is usually built up through a history of positive experiences, and with an improved sense of self confidence you will find that your esteem and mental state will be greatly improved as well.

If you find yourself unable to summon up courage to voice your own opinion, or to tell someone to back off when you need to, then it is probably a sign that you need to improve your self confidence.

Here are 4 easy tips that will help you do just that.

Tip #1: Set Goals

The first step in gaining self confidence is to set realistic and achievable goals for yourself. These goals should not be unachievable nor out of reach, but should be a challenge for you so that you can improve. No goal is too small, as every little step counts and works towards achieving the next bigger goal. With set goals, you will be able to push yourself to exceed your comfort zone, and it will give you something concrete to work towards.

Tip #2: Control your Feelings

Feelings are strong emotions that can have a big impact on our self confidence. Emotions associated with fear, anxiety or distrust can undermine our self esteem, whilst others like happiness and excitement can increase our self confidence. By being able to control your emotions so that you do not fall prey to negative emotions, you will be able to project positive emotions. This makes it easier for you to act and appear more confident.

Tip #3: Have a Mentor

Pick someone that you trust who will be able to give you the type of guidance that you are looking for. Make sure that it is someone who will not be afraid to push you to achieve your goals, and hold you accountable if you are not reaching them. It can be a friend or a family member, or a professional even.

Tip #4: Take Action

Do not allow yourself to procrastinate as you need to take active steps in order to build confidence. It is often a vicious cycle if you insist on waiting for your confidence to improve first before taking action to help you grow your self-confidence. Based on the goals that you have set for yourself, set aside an hour or so everyday to work on doing activities that will help you to achieve those targets. Stop yourself from worrying about being unprepared, or not confident enough to approach new activities. Whilst it is normal to worry, it is important that you do not do so excessively. There are many possibilities open to you, and you need to be receptive to developing your own self-confidence.

A Steady Diet of Success for the Mind

You’ve probably heard it said that you are what you think about the most, and being successful is no exception. There are other important facets of success too, like planning and preparing carefully, taking consistent action, and fine-tuning your plans as you go along. But your attitude is especially important because it determines so much of what you do – or don’t do.

In order to ensure that you’ve got an attitude that will propel you to the success you crave, be sure to feed your mind a steady diet of success-based thoughts.

Below are 5 easy ways to do that:

1) Study success stories. Make a habit of reading success stories in books, magazines, and online as often as you can! Pay close attention to the clues that are revealed, like the man who refused to give up no matter how much adversity he faced, or the woman who took on a massive cause because it was so vitally important to her. With each success story, you absorb little bits of insight and passion that you can apply to your own goal.

2) Listen to the masters. Invest in some motivational CDs by powerful speakers and listen to them often. Since much of the information we absorb subconsciously is auditory, you’ll find yourself feeling more empowered and motivated automatically. Try audio books and seminars from greats like Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, Brian Tracy, or Jack Canfield. You can also search online for your chosen speaker, or visit your local bookstore’s audio section.

3) Read motivational material. In addition to listening to audio books and seminars, you can also stock up on motivational books, magazines – or even calendars and posters! Try to choose material that relates to your own goals, whether they involve business, personal development, fitness, or anything else – but even general motivation is better than nothing.

4) Build yourself up. Have you checked your self-talk lately? If you’re in the habit of putting yourself down frequently, you’ll want to turn that around as quickly as possible. Work daily on building yourself up with positive self-talk. Encourage yourself, praise yourself, motivate yourself and support yourself – verbally, mentally and emotionally. The more you do, the better you’ll feel about yourself and the more you’ll be able to achieve.

5) Become successful now. One common trap that many of us fall into is looking to our outer circumstances to determine whether we’ve “made it” or not. We won’t allow ourselves to feel successful until we achieve a specific goal, earn a certain level of income, drive a certain kind of car, etc. However, if you keep thinking of yourself as ALREADY being successful, you can simply keep striving to become more successful and feel better about yourself now!