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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Believe in Yourself!!! - Meredith Pollock

Today I want to talk about believing in yourself. There are so many people out there that have either given up or are seriously doubting themselves. Why does this happen?

Personally I think this is because we are with ourselves 24/7 non stop and we allow other people to influence our thinking. They’ll either tell you that your dreams are just that – dreams, or that you are wishing for the impossible or someone will tell you that you can’t lose weight or that you’re stupid etc. Then what you do is take them at their word and long after they’ve already forgotten what they said, you are still telling yourself that because they said it. You dwell on what they said because it may have hurt your feelings and now your inner dialogue keeps telling you that. I know this because I am guilty of doing it as well. But there is hope.

When someone for example tells you that you’re stupid just tell yourself that even though what you might have said or done was a little stupid, that doesn’t make you stupid. Say to yourself “so what I made a mistake I’m human, but I’m intelligent enough not to let what they say affect my life”, or if they tell you that your dreams are impossible or just wishful thinking, tell yourself “My dreams may be impossible or just wishful thinking for them, but they are my dreams, not theirs and my dreams are real” etc. You’ve got to learn to turn those negative comments or statements around to suit you.

Now I’m not saying it is easy and that it will happen overnight BUT if you continue to do it before you know it, you will no longer be allowing others or yourself to break you down. You will start to gain strength and confidence that will help you to believe in yourself once again. When it comes to your dreams and goals DON’T allow other people to steal them away from you.

When you hear those negative thoughts creeping in, confront them. Now if you are alone you can always speak to them as if you were speaking to someone standing in front of you, if you not alone I suggest you do it in your mind otherwise the people around you might just think you slightly crazy and ready for the loony-bin, which is definitely not the case.

Another point worth remembering is that many, many of our beliefs that we have about ourselves stem right back to childhood. When people or grown ups told you things, you didn’t know any better other than to take their word for it and this wasn’t their fault either as many of their beliefs came from their parents and their parents etc etc. But now as an adult (or young adult) you know better, you know you have the choice to believe what feels right and to toss the rest.

In order for you to believe in yourself again you have to let go of the negative things you tell yourself or hear from others. As Dr Phil so often asks “How’s it working for you?”. If it’s not working for you, you need to get rid of it, let it go. But at the same time you need to be building yourself up, speaking positive.

When you love or care about someone else you talk to them with respect, love and encouragement, that is how you need to talk to yourself. Tell yourself good things that you would say to others, hell even if you have to go and stand in front of the mirror and pretend that your reflection is the other person you love and adore, then do it. It may seem totally weird at first but as they say “Fake it till you make it”. Just do it, find ways that will work for you.

What works for me, may not work for you, so experiment, play with it and start to have fun with it. And in time you will start to feel good about yourself, your dreams and goals etc and best of all you will start to believe in yourself again. Just remember treat yourself like you would an honored guest in your house and that shift in your self-belief will happen!!!!! Believe it and believe in you!!!!