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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Why using affirmations without sincere belief can be counter-productive - Lucy Lopez

For our affirmations to work, they need our emotional support which is closely tied to our beliefs. Affirmations, like everything else our brain processes, are influenced by associations. This is a key point to keep in mind. It means that the beliefs that are most closely or strongly associated with your affirmations are the ones that will influence the outcome.

If you are saying one thing while believing or feeling the opposite, you are effectively associating that belief and the feelings/emotions that go with it to what you are affirming.
The brain is wired up in complex networks of associations or schemas and you are creating a schema whereby the opposing belief and emotions are associated with that which you are affirming!

The more times you repeat that affirmation, the more you will be triggering/reinforcing the opposing belief and emotions. Not only do you not create what you affirm, you strengthen the opposing belief, thereby creating or maintaining the opposing reality!

For instance, if you keep repeating, “I am in the perfect relationship with the partner of my dreams” while believing and feeling that dreams do not come true and/or that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and/or that you will never meet the partner of your dreams, you are associating your affirmation with opposing beliefs and feelings.. Consequently, the reality which most closely matches your beliefs and feelings will be what manifests or continues to manifest!

This is why it is important that if you choose to use affirmations, you should ensure that your emotions and beliefs support them. Otherwise, these affirmations will, at the very least, maintain your current reality, and at worst, create a reality that corresponds most closely with your beliefs and emotions, which is very likely the very opposite of what you want!

Post from: Lucy's Planet Happiness

Monday, May 25, 2009

Why don’t my affirmations work? - Lucy Lopez

A big thank you to Lucy for your contributions and I ask all my readers to pop in to Lucy's site at the bottom of the post and check it out for yourselves.... But here is Lucy's post:

“I am gorgeous unimaginably wealthy and god’s greatest gift to humankind"

What are affirmations? They are powerful messages that we give the subconscious mind with the intention of making it conform to particular desires or goals. Generally, affirmations are presented in the simple present tense (remember what I said about this in this post?). As such, they are supposed to reflect ongoing truths.

For example, if you happen to be afraid of public performance, some affirmations that might be suggested to you are: “I am a wonderful performer”. “I enjoy performing to audiences, large or small”. “I just love every performance and look forward to each one”.

Great! So you start repeating these affirmations daily like a mantra and sometimes several times a day. (Someone recently told me they spend three hours a day repeating affirmations, bemoaning the fact that ‘nothing has changed’). One week later, one month later, several months later, you have still not shaken off your fear of public performance. If anything, you are even more of a nervous wreck when it comes to presenting yourself to an audience. Why?

The reason is quite simple.

Your affirmations lack your emotional support.

Have you noticed how the most impactful experiences in your life are the ones where your emotional response was strong and unmistakable, whether in a positive or negative way? Film makers, writers and advertisers make use of this fact to persuade you to ‘buy’ whatever it is they are selling, whether it is a product, an idea, a character or a service. To them, your emotional response is gold! Without it, they know they have lost you.

Even when we have an intellectual agreement with an idea or intention, without our emotional support, that idea or intention is about as useful to us as a bicycle tyre without air. So the question is, how do we get our emotions to cooperate with our thoughts, with our affirmations?


Even if I can intellectually agree with an idea, it does not mean that I actually believe it. For instance, I might agree that enjoying performing in public would be a good thing but I may not believe that I can enjoy performing in public. It is at this point that my subconscious mind and I part company.

By now you might have guessed that beliefs and emotions have a very tight partnership. The stronger your emotional response, the stronger your belief. Hence, “I didn’t believe it until I saw it”. Why? Because upon seeing it, you felt it! Our senses are directly connected to the emotional centres in our brain. They arouse your emotions in a very powerful way. Advertisers, film makers and writers have a field day with this fact - they show you things rather than just talk about them.

So, affirmations need to be supported by your emotions which are deeply tied to your beliefs. If you believe something, there is little that can get in your way. I guess your next question is, How do I believe what I want to believe? Well, I tackle that one in my next post and I’ll even explain why repeating affirmations without the corresponding emotional support and belief can work against you. In the meantime, you can enjoy this, this and this.

Post from: Lucy's Planet Happiness

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Career and Financial Affirmations

I am a success in all that I do

I am always productive

I respect my abilities and always work to my full potential

I always have enough money for all that I need

I live each day with passion and purpose

My life is now filled with prosperity and abundance

I easily achieve my goals

I am a money magnet

I now have prosperity and abundance in all areas of my life

I am confident

I am a great business person

I am a wealthy and successful business person

I am a brilliant business person

I use my wealth and prosperity wisely

I deserve happiness, abundance and prosperity

I now have all the resources necessary to fulfill all my life's goals

Making money juices me, excites me, energizes me

I am a powerful and resourceful creator

I have absolute certainty and confidence in my ability to generate any income I choose

I have all the resources I need to be a multi-millionaire now

I have great abundance flowing into my life which affords me any luxury I desire

I am an organized, disciplined, talented, innovative and intelligent business person, applying
sound and honest business practices right now

I am a powerful, resourceful, creator and I am attracting all the wealth and opportunities for financial success now

I have all the skills, intelligence, contacts and money I need right now to create an incredible masterpiece of a life

I am a smart, savvy business person

I deserve to earn money easily, in abundance and to live debt free now

I am completely debt free and money is flowing to me from expected and unexpected sources

I have complete freedom over my time

I accomplish my financial goals with ease

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Belief in Self and Confidence

There are many things in life that a person must confront, whether it is the first day of school, a new workplace, new family or friends. With each new experience and circumstance we will have to face the ultimate challenges, whether to believe in self and to have confidence.

What is belief in self when it comes to interactions that we have on a daily basis? Is it when we say, 'I know I can do it', or, 'Not a problem'? Does it base itself in confidence and the ability to outwardly express? One thing is for sure, without self confidence, the ability to experience life becomes more and more challenging and cumbersome and no matter how much we might try and avoid the rigors of change, our fears come back to haunt us, driving us towards questioning our own abilities and expression.

One thing that is ultimately true about self confidence is that no other person can obtain it for us.

It is something that is extremely personal to the individual experiencing it. They might cry towards another saying how unfair life is that they have to push themselves beyond limits that they feel extend outside of their own abilities. Crying is not going to achieve the confidence or the ability to believe in self and will only emphasis the insecurities and inner weakness that we have.

It just hides a person away in a hole of suffering, falling deeper and deeper within their own despair. Eventually they find themselves in this hole alone, facing their ultimate fear, other people having left from the pressure of their pain. They try to give them help but it goes in one ear and out the other, only making these friends want to retreat, looking towards the crying patient as if they will never be able to ever drag themselves out of despair.

For a while it feels safe and secure to hide in this whole, even when all have left who have their own issues and are experiencing their own pressures in life. Hiding in a hole feels much better than having to face the world today and to push beyond fears. It gets lonely in that hole and as much as it feels safe for a time, it is slowly drives a person to despair and the inability to find hope and strength in self, let alone to be able to recover from the pain. The person eventually comes to one conclusion and one alone. That they have to face the world, that hiding in the hole is not going to achieve anything for them in the long run. It is through their choice that they are able to fight past their insecurities and come out of their own doldrums. They realize that no one else is going to be able to give them strength, power and confidence, but themselves. The journey to believing in themselves comes from their own desire to live life and to grab all that they can for their own development and experiences.

It should not have to take the words of another person to realize that self confidence is understood individually, and that it is reasoned by self. It is a natural willingness to participate in life that comes from an individuals desire to experience all that they have offered to them. There should be no reason why someone should feel insecure about their abilities. They have just as much ability as the next person and as much as they think that they have disabilities, they really do only have disability in their mind, not being able to see the full picture of their own potential.

This fear attitude that is created, that holds us back from being confident in ourselves, comes from learnt paradigms that we are picking up as we are developing. They are linked to the competitive syndrome where we all decide what category we belong and allow that this is the ultimate truth to our purpose in life. It takes a strong mind to reason that choice is individualized and not coming from some outside source. Everyone has their own ability to make their own assumptions on life and how much they want to participate in it. Confidence then openly issues forth from a person who realizes that life is for living and that it comes from their own choices.

There should not be any reason why people fear to participate in things, whether that is from jumping a tight rope to studying for university. We all have the ability to push ourselves to experience all that is possible. The playing field of life within our divided cultures is a similar playing field that we all participate in. Even with restrictions a person can always find ways to deal with situations, if only they choose to see that life is played by the mind and that they have ability, just as any one else, to find reason and purpose and strength in self. That strength is not going to come from someone else, it is going to be realized in their own participation.

Our mind and viewpoint on life is our own character and who we are as individuals. If a person is not going to believe in themselves, then who is? We must believe in ourselves before others can see our real potential to experience life without fear or constraint. It is all up to the individual and no matter the fight and struggle life can be seen in a totally different way. Life does not have to be a struggle. It is all in the mind what we choose to value or not, we only have to change our viewpoint in order to see life differently.

Belief in self and confidence comes with realizing that we are controllers of our lives and that we are the ones that direct ourselves where we wish to be and how we wish to experience life in all that it has to offer.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Begin to Set Personal Boundaries

Do you have a hard time standing up for yourself? Do you keep agreeing to do things that you really don't want to do? Do you tolerate rude comments or pushy people because you can't handle conflict? Do you take things personally?

Life coach Cheryl Richardson says that creating stronger boundaries is the number one way for most women to improve their lives. Here she shows you how to stand up for yourself! Set personal boundaries and free yourself from the "disease to please" with these three steps!

Step One: Self-AwarenessThe first step in learning to set boundaries is self-awareness. Complete the following sentences.

Step Two: Setting Your BoundariesLearn to set boundaries with others. Find support and using specific language.

Step Three: Strengthen Your Internal BoundariesToo often, women neglect to
stand up for themselves by avoiding confrontation. When someone offends you, stop and ask these three questions.

Begin to Set Personal Boundaries

Step One: Self AwarenessThe first step in learning to set boundaries is self-awareness. For example, pay close attention to the situations when you lose energy, feel a knot in your stomach, or want to cry. Identifying where you need more space, self-respect, energy or personal power is the first step.Another way to identify your boundaries is by completing these three sentences with at least 10 examples.

1. People may not ___________.

Examples of Personal Boundaries

People many not...
· Go though my personal belongings
· Criticize me
· Make comments about my weight
· Take their anger out on me
· Humiliate me in front of others
· Tell off-color jokes in my company
· Invade my personal space

2. I have a right to ask for ____________.

Examples of Personal Boundaries

I have a right to ask for...
· Privacy
· A new hairstyle from an old stylist
· Peace and quiet while getting a massage
· Help around the house
· More information before making a purchase
· Quiet time to myself

3. To protect my time and energy, it's OK to _________________.

Examples of Personal Boundaries

To protect my time and energy, it's OK to...
· Turn the ringer off on the phone
· Take my time returning calls or e-mails
· Change my mind
· Bow out of a volunteer activity
· Cancel a commitment when I'm not feeling well
· Reserve a place in my home that is off-limits to others.

Begin to Set Personal Boundaries

Step Two: Setting Your BoundariesStart setting simple but firm boundaries with a graceful or neutral tone. This will feel uncomfortable at first, but as you take care of yourself, the personal power you gain will make it easier.

Be sure to have support in place before and after each conversation. If you can't find support from a friend or family member, you may be successful finding a friend online.

Vent any strong emotions with your partner before having your boundary conversation.

Use simple, direct language.Examples:
· To set a boundary with an angry person:"You may not yell at me. If you continue, I'll have to leave the room."
· To set a boundary with personal phone calls at work:"I've decided to take all personal calls in the evening in order to get my work done. I will need to call you later."
· To say no to extra commitments:"Although this organization is important to me, I need to decline your request for volunteer help in order to honor my family's needs."
· To set a boundary with someone who is critical:"It's not okay with me that you comment on my weight. I'd like to ask you to stop."
· To buy yourself time when making tough decisions:"I'll have to sleep on it, I have a policy of not making decisions right away."
· To back out of a commitment:"I know I agreed to head up our fundraising efforts, but after reviewing my schedule, I now realize that I won't be able to give it my best attention. I'd like to help find a replacement by the end of next week.
· To set a boundary with an adult child who borrows money:"I won't be lending you money anymore. I love you and you need to take responsibility for yourself."

When setting boundaries, there is no need to defend, debate, or over-explain your feelings. Be firm, gracious and direct. When faced with resistance, repeat your statement or request.
Back up your boundary with action. Stay strong. If you give in, you invite people to ignore your needs

Begin to Set Personal Boundaries

Step Three: Strengthen Your Internal BoundariesOne of the reasons that women take things personally is because they have weak "internal boundaries." An internal boundary is like an invisible shield that prevents you from taking in a comment without checking it out first. For example, when someone accuses you of being arrogant, stop and consider the statement before taking it in.When you use this internal shield, especially with difficult people like an ex-spouse or critical parent, it gives you time to ask yourself the following three questions:

· How much of this is true about me?
· How much of this is about the other person?
· What do I need to do (if anything) to regain my personal power or stand up for myself?

This last question is very important. Too often women neglect to stand up for themselves by avoiding confrontation and end up weakening their internal shield, making it harder to set boundaries at all. So, if someone offends you, it may be necessary to let them know in order to protect and strengthen your internal boundaries.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Advice on Unrequited Love

Unrequited love is one of the hardest things to deal with. You love someone who doesn't love you. It's pure torture and by this point it will feel like the world is being very unfair on you. So is there anything you can do about it? Here's some tips and advice on unrequited love and how you can deal with it.

Understand it's not you, it's them.

This is very true, even though you won't feel like it right now. The truth is, people pass quick judgments too soon and often they don't know what they're passing up on. It has nothing to do with you but everything to do with them. You need to stop blaming yourself and putting yourself down over this.

Timing is not right.

A lot of love has to do with timing. Even if love is there but the timing is not right, a relationship is oftentimes doomed. In this case, you need to respect that some things you'll just have to be patient and wait for. Trying to force a situation to happen before its time, will only bring about more negative consequences.

Are you self-sabotaging yourself without even realizing?

Are you trying to make up excuses or reasons that the person you want won't want to be with you? Sometimes we'll sabotage ourselves without realizing, because how we see ourselves gives off a strong vibe to others about how they see us. If you don't respect and love yourself, how can you expect others to as well?

Be yourself.

If someone has the wrong idea of you, sometimes you just need to show them who you really are by just being yourself. We often want to impress the one we love but in the end, we want them to want us as we are, not someone we pretended to be.

What if the person you want used to love you but now doesn't? Is it possible to win back love that has been lost? If this is your case, it is in fact a lot easier to restore love than pull love out of nothing.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Achieve Your Goals Using Affirmations

What is a positive affirmation? It is as simple as some positive resolve you make as a first step to change your thought process to become positive. Affirmations can be used by anyone to scale up your excellence in any field. Affirmations are nothing but reinforcing confidence in yourself and thus helping you fulfill your ambitions.

Affirmation can transform your life in a big way. They get deeply embedded in the sub-conscious mind and thus reinforce your confidence. To embed them it is advisable to read them out aloud, totally understanding their meaning and purpose. Whenever you read them read them with a passion as if you already have what you are trying to achieve.

Make it a point to read your affirmations daily. The ideal time is to read them first as you wake up and just when you are about to sleep. Even during your daily routine, if you can try to go through your affirmations.Don’t give up if you are not able to see results immediately. Be patient and continue reading them. Practice them for 30 days without fail. They will become a part of your thinking and if you follow them for a period longer than 30 days you will increase your mental capability and you will reap the best results soon!

The results that you enjoy need not be identical to what others have got. Every person is different and so are his/her beliefs. Hence, even the results can vary greatly from one individual to another.If you want results quickly, I recommend you to write them on a notebook daily. To add a personal touch, write your name along with the affirmation. Or still better technique, is to start by writing your name. This will further reinforce the affirmation on to your brain.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A Feast For Fear

Fear is a persistent and insatiable guest who is hungry for something scary to eat. Today's financial headlines and emotionally charged news stories provide a banquet feast for fear.

Fear grows larger as it consumes more negativity. The bigger it gets, the more overwhelming and devouring it becomes. As it inflates, fear bullies us into feeling too vulnerable and victimized to do anything about it.

Like most bullies, fear does not have any real power. Though loud and intimidating, fear is powerless to do anything but scream in our ear and shake up our system. Fear only has power to the extent that we allow it to run our lives.

When you overfeed fear it becomes obese. Nothing else can fit in your house not love, not happiness, not friendship - Nothing. When terror rules your body and emotions, you can barely think. What can you do?

First realize that fear is a built in alarm system that comes with the house. You cannot get rid of it. You can put it on a low negativity diet and get it down to a reasonable size. I'm not suggesting a starvation diet. I am suggesting balancing a reasonable serving of speculative, negative news with heavy servings of reality check.

Fear will also feed on the negativity of others. If you can't get close to the negativity without feasting on it, then cut back on your contact. As you feel stronger, you can begin to influence those conversations. I'm reminded of Socrates, who when confronted with gossip would ask three questions. First, "Is what you're going to tell me true?" If the answer is no, then he would ask, "Is what you're going to tell me good?" If that answer is no, he would ask a third question, "Is what you're going to tell me useful?" If the person said no to all three questions, Socrates would ask, "Why would you tell me something that is not true, good or useful?"

When the alarm system in your house turns into a raving bully, you may need outside forces to get back in control. Find an experienced professional counselor or coach who can support you in confronting the bully of fear and resetting your alarm system.

Be aware! Fear is in the House with a ravenous appetite. Don't allow it to feast at the table of scarcity, negativity, anger, resentment and powerlessness. Limit its diet to low servings of negativity balanced with enriched reality check. Supplement with support as needed. Bon appetit!

Aila AccadLevel: BasicWith over 35 years of education and experience in the areas of Personal, Interpersonal and Organizational Growth, Aila Accad has synthesized a huge amount of ... ...
"copyright 2009 Aila Accad, RN at"

Monday, May 11, 2009

10 Positive Outlook Affirmations

Those of you already familiar with the idea of affirmations can skip straight to the paragraph headed '10 Positive Outlook Affirmations'. For those of you who are a little uncertain, here is a very brief definition:

An affirmation is a positive and encouraging statement which when said over and over again to yourself with heartfelt emotional intensity, can alter your thoughts and, more significantly, your deeper thought processes. The Law of Attraction suggests that our immediate reality is shaped by our deeper thought processes (positive thoughts create a positive personal reality, negative thoughts generate a negative personal reality). Therefore, if we can control and 'make positive' our thoughts, we can dynamically influence the fundamental quality of our existence for the better.

10 Positive Outlook Affirmations

1) The Universe is always with me. I can relax and let go because the Universe will support me.

2) I make new and inspiring friends wherever I go. Even before I reach out to others, they are reaching out to me.

3) The Universe meets all my needs in abundance. I have only to ask.

4) The Universe is attentive and treats me well, and so others are attentive and treat me well.

5) I am deeply grateful for the abundance of love and happiness in my life.

6) Wherever I go, I encounter love and affection. I am loved and appreciated just as I am.

7) Love is present and abundant in my heart right now. I can feel it, healing and nurturing.

8) The Universe wants me to be fulfilled. The Universe created me to be fulfilled. The Universe and I are working together toward this goal.

9) There are no ruts in life. Every moment is new and unique. Every moment is charged with infinite possibilities.

10) I often set a little time aside to do the things I enjoy. The Universe supports me in this and wants me to be happy.

As with all affirmations, it is important that they feel right to you before you begin reciting them.

Feel free to alter them to suit your own style and personality. Just remember to keep them positive and in the present tense.

I hope you find these positive outlook affirmations useful.

Good luck.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Please submit posts!!!!

Hi Everyone,

I sincerely hope that this blogspot has been of some help to many of you...
I would like to try something new, as from June for a short while I may not be able to blog as regularly as I have for the past year but would like you to submit any posts that you think may be of help to others regarding self-confidence, self esteem, weight loss, stress management etc. Anything that falls under the self help or self improvement category.
You can submit these posts to and we will go through them and post them if they are approved for this blog.

I look forward to receiving your articles, please do not forget to put your name on the post and PLEASE do not use articles that have copyrights.

So with that said feel free to start submitting your articles immediately, in the subject line just put Blog Submission. So get writing and submit now.
Again that email address is

Bless you all

7 Things You Should Never Apologize For

When I was younger, I used to have a habit of saying, "I'm sorry" after doing or saying something that I thought may have been non-appealing to the recipient. It didn't matter what it was. It could be a joke that I told that didn't garner an appropriate response of laughter from my perspective. It could be after something as simple as a sneeze.

However, after growing up a bit, I realized that I don't have to be sorry for EVERYTHING. I should only apologize when an apology is necessary. In certain instances I've also learned that there are times where you may do or say something that may be a bit uncomfortable for another person. You shouldn't have to apologize for saying those things. You may wish to apologize for the pain that saying these things may have caused but the actual act and reason should not be one of remorse.
In this article, you'll find seven instances where you should be willing to take action and not apologize for it later.
Being honest. People often say, "the truth hurts," or "you can't handle the truth," or "you don't really want to hear the truth." The fact of the matter is, everyone does want the truth; however, it's no longer in your control once the truth is out how the other person will handle hearing that information. What you should be mindful of is the timing of your truth delivery. There's definitely timing to truth. Sometimes, you may need to delay what you share for a more appropriate time. You may not wish to tell your best friend right away that you are thinking about moving to France when they're mourning the loss of a loved one. But when you do choose to tell them at the best moment, there's nothing to be remorseful about. Be honest.
Loving yourself. In a previous article, I brought to the forefront how important it is to love yourself before you can honestly and truthfully love another. When you pour love into yourself, many people mistake that for selfishness or even overconfidence. Take inventory of the type of signal that you're emitting when you are "loving yourself." If you are in a genuine place of love, then that signal should not get misinterpreted, but if it is clouded with a little bit of separation, meaning you're trying to make yourself feel better at the expense of someone else deliberately, then that's not really a love vibration is it? So, if you're getting back from someone that you're being selfish, really check the authenticity of your self-love. However, if you're certain that you are giving yourself the very best, then that's nothing to be sorry for.
Crying when you need to. Even if you're embarrassed to cry, crying is a release of pinned up emotion that everyone was built with the capacity to do. It's fine and quite cleansing to let out tears when they well up in your eyes. It doesn't make you any less strong or mature to cry. It's a natural response to overwhelming emotion (whether happy or sad), and it's all OK. Crying also moves you to a more upstream vibration if you're vibrating at the lower end of the emotional scale, because it helps you to move beyond what could have been holding you back.
Taking a break. I used to be guilty of this one a lot. Life can get a bit challenging and complex when a lot of things are happening simultaneously. Many times we're expected to just push through and "suck it up." If we do this too much, our body will shut us down in the most seemingly inopportune time. It's more healthy and beneficial to literally stop every once and a while to breathe, to let your hair down, to relax, to rejuvenate. It's necessary. It's part of our body's natural rhythm. When we disrupt this, we can break down our bodies' defenses and become more susceptible to sickness. Take a load off. You deserve it every once and a while especially when you know you're moving in the right direction.
Being alone. Being by yourself is not a bad thing. Taking some alone time to get quiet and at peace with the Oneness that IS and around you is a treat! It's a gift from Source to be able to connect and communicate directly with whom and where all of your help comes from. It gives you the space to tap more into your intuitive gifts and really hear what it is that's calling you.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, relish in the opportunity to spoil and cherish
meet only your listen to only your requests..... and to tend to only your needs.
Take the time to pamper and really love on yourself. You'll be more equipped to share later.
Change. This is the ONE thing in life that is consistent. Change always occurs and we as humans need to be sensitive and flexible to change. It may be a bit uncomfortable to impose abrupt changes on another person's life when you're involved in the change, but oftentimes change is very necessary for survival, peace of mind, help, strength, hope and faith. When you make a decision, at the time that you make it, you should do so with certainty and have your reasons why. But don't be afraid to change your mind. You have the right to do so especially if you learned something after your decision that could save you lots of heart ache in the long-run.
Listen to your gut and trust your intuition. If change is coming, welcome it.
Saying "no." This is a gigantic one. Saying "no" sets boundaries, and why should we have to apologize for protecting ourselves? Sure, it may hurt your significant other's feelings to say no to a request that they earnestly may want a "yes." too. If the "yes" causes you to compromise integrity, your spirit, your trust, your values, your truth or anything that means a whole lot more to you, then saying "no" shouldn't be something that you regret later. When you say "no," as with everything else in this post, really mean it and have your reason for why you said it.
Make sure it has weight.
These are the 7 instances that have become most apparent in my life. What are other things you feel you shouldn't have to apologize for?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

5 Top Tips and Tricks For Affirmations Preparation

Let's start with a quick précis of what, precisely, we mean by 'affirmations'. For those of you already familiar with the idea, you can skip straight to the paragraph headed '5 Top Tricks and Tips for Affirmations Preparation'.

In essence, an affirmation is a positive statement which when properly employed can reprogram your subconscious, a positive statement which when said repeatedly to yourself with genuine emotional intensity, can influence internal forces and can lead to the manifestation of dramatic changes in your life.

There are three fundamental stages to the affirmations process. The first stage is recognising that reality as you currently experience it exists as a direct result of your thoughts and thought processes. The second stage is recognising that if you change your thoughts and the way you think, you can change the quality and details of your reality. The third and final stage is reprogramming your subconscious to allow your thoughts and thought processes to change.

5 Top Tips and Tricks for Affirmations Preparation

1) Decide which aspect of your life will benefit most from the effective application of affirmations. Until you become proficient, it's generally a good idea to focus on one aspect at a time. In other words, start with a plan.

2) Always write your affirmations down. There are two benefits to this. Firstly, it will help you memorize them. Secondly, you're more likely to carefully consider your choice of words and phrasing. Which leads us neatly on to:

3) Only use positive words. Negative words (such as can't, never, don't, mustn't etc) can create negative feelings which can weaken your affirmations.

4) Always word your affirmations using the present tense. This creates a sense of immediacy. Past or future tenses create a sense of distance between you and your affirmations, which is unhelpful.

5) Schedule a specific time for your affirmations and try your best to stick to that time. Your affirmations need to take on the characteristics of a habit.

If you follow these 5 tips, you'll find your affirmations quickly become second nature.

Good luck.
Stephen WintersLevel: Basic PLUSStephen Winters is a freelance writer and editor specialising in the self-help, personal development and self-improvement field. He writes and edits for The Happiness Superstore ... ...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

5 Abraham-Hicks Processes For Abundance

There are many Abraham-Hicks processes for abundance, too many to include in a single article. So, here (following my investigation of many forums, blogs and websites) are five that have proven to be particularly popular and effective.

1) Which Thought Feels Better?

This is a simple process for generating positive thoughts. The more positive thoughts you generate, the less room there is for negative thoughts and the more positive thoughts become second nature to you. Think about an aspect of your life you feel needs some improvement. List five thoughts that relate to it. Which of those five thoughts made you feel better? Keep that thought, scratch out the others. Now, you need to come up with a thought that makes you feel even better in relation to this aspect of your life. Keep doing it until you have five thoughts, each making you feel better than the last.

2) Segment Intending.

This is essentially about breaking your intentions down into small, manageable and, most importantly, immediate goals. So, for example, immediately before you go into a job interview, you set the intention that the interview will go well and you will be confident and articulate. It's important to note here, that you are not pursuing the goal of 'getting the job', because that is a future outcome. You are purely looking at immediate intentions and results.

3) The Book of Positive Aspects.

The purpose of this process is to increase our positivity perception. Using a notebook (your Book of Positive Aspects), pick a subject. It can be a person or an activity (your job, for example), but the exercise will be more effective if you pick something you don't feel particularly good about. List all the positive things about your chosen subject. You'll find there are more than you imagined. With practice, you'll also find yourself finding ways to 're-describe' negative aspects of your subject in a positive way. For example, your supervisor no longer 'gives you hard time', instead he or she 'tests, and consequently strengthens, your patience'.

4) Magical Creation Box.

This process helps you focus on what you want and creates a real sense of anticipation that these things are imminent. You can either buy a beautiful looking box or you can make one using materials from an arts and crafts shop. Either way, the box needs to look special in some way. Label it your 'Magical Creation Box'. In the box put symbols of all the things you want. Images cut from magazines and catalogues work well. For example, an image of a sandy beach from a vacation brochure can be used to symbolise an exotic holiday. Add to and revisit your box often.

5) The Prosperity Game.

Each day, imagine you receive a check for $100. Imagine spending the money. All of it: no savings or investments are allowed. Really visualise making your purchases and enjoying them. The next day a check for $200 arrives. Repeat the same process. Each day a new check arrives for double the amount of the previous ($400, $800, $1600, $3200 and so on). This process helps you to achieve wealth perception. It prepares you for the receipt of wealth. If you aren't prepared for wealth, do you think it will really come to you?

Good luck.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

4 Powerful Ways to Regain Self-Confidence Despite Challenges

"The way to develop confidence is to do the thing you fear."
~William Jennings Bryan
I understand how easy it can be to get frustrated when we move forward on our dreams and goals. Because no matter how exciting everything seems at the beginning of new adventure... things take as long as they take, exacerbating obstacles arise, and aggravating challenges happen. Sometimes it seems as if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.
With all this going on, it's not uncommon to become impatient before achieving success, and wanting to give up just a moment too soon. Who hasn't felt self-doubt and stress when things just don't seem to be coming together?
Self-confidence can often be at a low-low place when we are in the midst of making important changes. The question becomes how you learn to trust yourself to continue moving forward even when things aren't going as effortlessly as anticipated? Below are four powerful ways to regain confidence when it looks like you've almost lost it altogether.
Breathe and Release Stress Levels
Stress = self-doubt. It's a myth that stress or worry is the best way to move through difficult situations. Stress happens when we believe that we do not have the time, experiences, or resources to deal with a challenge or situation. Feeling pressured and anxious about a perceived unsolvable or impossible situation, our bodies release adrenaline and gear up for a fight or flight response to handle the immediate danger. Stress equal self-doubt because it takes you into an internal perception that your only two alternatives are to fight the problem or run away from it.
Taking a few minutes of alone time to breathe and calm down helps bring new perspective that while the situation at hand may be undesirable, it is not a life or death situation. With relaxation comes a new ability to be at ease with yourself. And with ease comes the ability to tap into inner resources, grasp valuable insights, and find new innovative, creative solutions.
Be With Your Own Feelings
Taking time alone creates space to relax, clear out the world, and be with no one else's feelings but your own. By stepping away from all the outside noise and busyness, you allow new opportunity to clear confusion and sort out your emotions and feelings. Once your head is clear, you can simply take a deep breath, and ask, "What is it I need to know about this situation?" or,
"What will move me one step closer to what I most want?" Then be willing to trust that yourself and open to receiving the quiet guidance of your own creative spirit.
Open to New Possibilities
Your goal or pursuit may currently be wildly frustrating, but remember that your dream is important. Just because you've hit a few snags doesn't mean it's time to throw in the towel. To bring back your enthusiasm and confidence, try this experiment. When something is troubling you, just sit with it. Don't do anything to logically fix or solve the problem. Instead, just sit, place your intention on allowing the best possible outcome, and breathe. Momentarily step away from the negative thoughts circling with frenzy within your head. Welcome your creative self to offer new insights and potential solutions to your situation. Your job is to stop fretting and stressing with the problem, and instead place your focus on being open to amazing new possibilities.
Insights and creative solutions may not be apparent in the exact moment. Instead, be receptive and open for creativity to show itself however it wants and whenever it's ready.
Slow Down and Soften Up
Confidence increases as we realize our ability to be inventive and full of resourcefulness. By tapping into our inner creativity, we can become aware of solutions we hadn't considered before.
When you have a challenge or an issue you want resolved, learn to slow down and let down your defenses. Relax, let go of your stress, and breathe. Slowing down and softening your body allows your creative insight to make new connections, see things from a new perspective, and notice things you hadn't noticed before.
Of course, we all want to know the exact route to reach our destination, and plan things perfectly so we move forward with no unexpected surprises. But odds are that every worthwhile journey leads down some major unexpected side roads. We may even get lost along the way.
Confidence is not about leaving point A and arriving at point Z in perfect, non-eventful fashion.
Instead, confidence is discovering that you can trust yourself. You do know the general direction you are heading toward. You do know when you're off course. And you can trust yourself to allow your imagination and positive actions to point yourself back in the right direction. Follow the four steps above and watch your confidence grow as you regain trust in your own ability to step forward - one step at a time - into your dream.

Friday, May 1, 2009

3 Keys To Developing Inner Productivity

Looking at the number of books and articles on organization and time management available today, one would think the market for productivity strategies was close to saturation, and the demand for more would be dropping. But this doesn’t seem to be true. Instead, it seems like a new book, article, or seminar on productivity comes out every day.

Why are people still hungry for productivity advice, even with so many techniques on the market? I suspect one reason is that the existing literature doesn’t address one of the biggest obstacles to our productivity — the patterns of thinking and feeling that limit our ability to get things done.

Here’s a common example. As I’ll bet you know firsthand, it’s hard to get much done when our awareness keeps drifting into the past or the possible future — replaying arguments we had with a loved one, worrying about how much the bonus in our jobs is going to be this year, and so on.

The “tips and tricks” productivity gurus offer us — more efficient ways to organize our e-mail inboxes, make to-do lists, hold shorter meetings, and so forth — can be useful, but they won’t do much to help us get more done if we can’t focus our attention.

The good news is that what I call “inner productivity” — the mental and emotional state we need to work at peak efficiency — can be cultivated. Many of the methods for doing this have been recognized in Eastern spirituality for thousands of years, but are just beginning to enter the mainstream in the West. I’ll describe what I see as the three essential elements of inner productivity — Attention, Intention, and Foundation — and some exercises we can use to develop them within ourselves.

1. Attention

We’re most efficient, and produce our best work, when our work has our full attention. Too often, our awareness is only partly focused on our task, and the rest of it is lost in memories and possible futures. As I said, rehashing painful moments from the past and dreaming up potential problems are common mental pastimes. However, a less obvious example comes up when our attention keeps drifting to the product of our work — the money we’re going to earn, the vacation we’ll get to take, and so on — rather than focusing on the process of what we’re doing in this moment.

How can we build our capacity to hold our attention on our work? One way to return your attention to the task in front of you is to notice the sensations you’re feeling in your body — whether it’s a warmth, tingling, pulsing, or something else. As Eckhart Tolle writes in The Power Of Now:

“If you keep your attention in the body as much as possible, you will be anchored in the Now. You won’t lose yourself in the external world, and you won’t lose yourself in your mind.”

A great way to do this is to train your awareness on a part of your body that’s in contact with another object, such as your feet on the floor or your pelvis on your chair. Focus your attention on the pressure of the object against your body. This practice tends to quickly clear away irrelevant thoughts and let us focus on our task again. As you practice this exercise over time, you may find that, when distracting thoughts arise in your work, you begin naturally, unconsciously bringing your attention back into your body and thus into the present.

2. Intention

Another reason we commonly find our attention floating away from the task at hand is that we aren’t working with a clear, compelling goal in mind. Perhaps there’s no overall vision behind what we’re doing — we’re just working to pay the bills, or because we feel like “we’ve got to be doing something.” Or, although we have a definite goal in our work — maybe, for example, buying a bigger house — that goal is just based on a desire to meet others’ expectations, and doesn’t actually move us on a deep, physical level. In these situations, motivation is harder to come by.

A great intention exercise is to focus on what you’re contributing to others with your work. Sometimes, we get sidetracked by a sense that we’re being selfish by pursuing our goals — that we’re working solely for our own gain, and not to benefit humanity. Or maybe we’re plagued by the feeling that we aren’t serving anyone — even ourselves — with the work we’re doing. When we’re paying our work-related bills, for instance, it may be hard to keep in mind that we’re accomplishing anything at all, much less serving anyone, with what we’re doing — even though it’s a necessary part of running our business.

If you find yourself getting discouraged this way, try pausing for a moment and focusing your attention on how what you’re doing is serving the world. Picture the peace, productivity, and other gifts you’re bringing into people’s lives. Even something mundane like organizing your files ultimately works to help others — after all, if your files are more organized, you can serve your colleagues and customers more efficiently. I believe that, as human beings, we have a natural desire to help and give our gifts to others, and keeping this desire in mind can be a great motivator.

3. Foundation

An important, but often overlooked, factor in our productivity is how comfortable we feel with ourselves. Do we love and appreciate ourselves unconditionally — even if we make a mistake or a setback arises in our work? Or is our appreciation for ourselves conditioned on whether our work receives praise or blame from others?

Many of us assume the best way to stay motivated is to condition our appreciation for ourselves on our work performance. Because we feel unpleasant when we don’t love ourselves, this belief goes, the threat that our self-love might be withdrawn will motivate us to do a good job.

Interestingly, many psychologists suggest the opposite is true — the more our love for ourselves hinges on our success, the less focused and motivated we’re likely to be.

For instance, in The Tomorrow Trap: Unlocking The Secrets Of The Procrastination-Protection Syndrome, psychologist Karen E. Peterson argues that we use procrastination as a means of protecting ourselves against the shame of failure. Because we know we’ll withdraw our self-love if we fail, we understandably find it easier not to try — or we get stuck in “analysis paralysis,” trying to produce perfect, criticism-proof work. This suggests that building what I call a solid inner foundation — a sense of unconditional appreciation for ourselves — is key to meeting our productivity goals.

One way to start developing this type of foundation is to get familiar with the places where you condition your love for yourself on your work performance. In other words, where are you telling yourself “if you don’t achieve this goal, you’re worthless?” For example, some of us can’t bear the possibility that a colleague or client might get angry at us. Others can’t stand to be less than “the best” in their field, and if someone else’s work gets more attention they feel inadequate. And so on.

Notice how just becoming conscious of how you refuse to love yourself unless you accomplish certain things begins to transform your relationship with yourself. Before, it may have seemed obvious that your value as a person depended on your work success, but when you look squarely at that idea it starts to look less convincing. You begin to realize you can choose to appreciate yourself no matter what happens in your work, and that making that choice gives you the inner strength you need to meet your goals.