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Monday, June 30, 2008

How To Stop The Inner Critic

Let’s face it, from time to time, most of us suffer from critical inner voices. The fact is we often use self talk throughout the day so wouldn’t it be great if we could learn a way to transform the annoying internal voices into something more effective.

One of the first useful things to keep in mind is that even if the voice has bad tonality and says caustic things to you, at some level it has something of value for you in mind.

The way you speak to yourself has been rehearsed and then become an automatic habit. This is good news because it suggests you can re-learn and create a more beneficial habit. I’m guessing you’ve probably tried changing one of those voices by trying to talk to it. Maybe asking it to be a bit more patient or sternly telling it to shut the hell up! This can work but there is a more elegant way that gets better results more often.

If you were to think of one of your annoying internal voices now, just become aware of where it is located in space. You know, is it behind your head, to the left or to the right? And just become aware of how it speaks to you. How does it sound? What are the qualities of the voice? Is it fast speech or slow? Is it a deep voice? How loud is it? By becoming aware of these qualities you discover the structure. This is what holds the thought pattern together; the glue. The fun part comes next when we interupt the pattern and sabotage it! Melting the glue in essence. Have a go with the following quick little technique that utilises the Half Second Rule in order to get the change to stick.

Voice Recorder Rewind Button

1. Select one of those annoying internal voices one last time.

2. Now hear it play backwards like the rewind on a cassette.

3. Try it fast and try it slow. And then hear it backwards, really fast, in less than 1/2 a second. Do it three times.

4. Now replace that backwards voice with a new positive message with a nice, sexy, ‘bed room voice’ tonality.

Thought processes such as internal voices can be changed easily and quickly when we know how. By interrupting the pattern and changing the structure, our mind becomes able to access more resources, thereby making us feel better, allowing more behavioural choice.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

What You Say Is... What You Get!

Our words will produce exactly what we say. If you're living a paltry life, resolve today to change it. After resolving to change your life, talk about it to God, talk about it anywhere! Expect great things to happen , for God will be your Provider. He will be if your words will it. What you say determines what you get. Often we become our own problem. Instead of being part of the answer, we continue to be part of the problem.

Suppose your senses have revealed that you are in great need financially. The Word declares: "My God shall supply all your need." (Philippians 4:19). You need to call God's attention to the missing finances. You need to be sure that your expectations are from Him. Refuse to be intimidated by your feelings. Know that greater is God who is in you than all the other forces that surround you. The forces that oppose you are your senses, your feelings.

The power that is in you is God working in your life. Then speak out. Make your words express the truth about what God means to you. Give Him credit for His ability and His wisdom.

In Mark 11, Jesus said: "Whoever shall say... and not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass, he shall have whatsoever he saith." There are no coincidences with God. Those of us who walk with God have just seen too many "coincidences" after we pray, too many "accidental" answers to prayer, too often, to believe in coincidences. While our human understanding of an entire situation is always limited to our own narrow view of the picture and our limited perception of what is happening, God, the Omniscient One, is seeing all of it!

Always expect the best, don't ever expect the worst! Expect a miracle. It's your attitude towards life that makes your life. Expect miracles in your life and miracles will be your portion. Be one who says, "God can do things and God will do things through me." This is not egotism, it is one hundred percent scriptural.

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on "I can't," because the Word says: "I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on fear, because the Word says: "God has not given me a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on doubt and a lack of faith, because the Word says: "God has dealt to each one [every person] a measure of faith." (Romans 12:3)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on weakness, because the Word says: "The Lord is the strength of My life" (Psalm 27:1) and "The people that know their God shall be strong and carry out great exploits." (Daniel 11:32)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on the supremacy of satan over my life, because the Word says: "Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on defeat, because the Word says: "God always causes me to triumph in Jesus Christ." (2 Corinthians 2:14)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on a lack of wisdom, because the Word says: "Christ Jesus has become for me wisdom from God." (1 Corinthians 1:30) and "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on sickness, because the Word says: "With His stripes I am healed." (Isaiah 53:5) and Jesus "Himself took my infirmities and bore my sickness." (Matthew 8:17)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on bondage, because the Word says: "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." (2 Corinthians 3:17) and "My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit." (1 Corinthians 6:19)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on worries and frustration, because the Word says: I am "Casting all my cares upon Him who cares for me." (1 Peter 5:7)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on condemnation, because the Word says: "There is now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1) I am in Christ, so therefore I am free from condemnation!

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on loneliness, because the Word says: Jesus said, "I am with you always, even till the end of the age [forever]." (Matthew 28:20) and "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on curses or bad luck, because the Word says: "Christ has redeemed me from the curse of the Law, being made a curse for me: that the blessings of Abraham might come upon the gentiles [that's me] through Jesus Christ: That we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith." (Galatians 3:13-14)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on discontent, because the Word says: "I have learned in whatever state (circumstances) I am, to be content." (Philippians 4:11)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on unworthiness, because the Word says: "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." (2 Corinthians 5:21)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on confusion, because the Word says: "God is not the author of confusion, but of peace." (1 Corinthians 14:33) and "We have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God." (1 Corinthians 2:12)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on persecution, because the Word says: "If God be for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on the domination of sin over my life, because the Word says: "The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:2)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on insecurity, because the Word says: "When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden terror, Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; For the LORD will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught." (Proverbs 3:24-26)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on failure, because the Word says: "In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." (Romans 8:37)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on frustration, because the Word says: "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." (Isaiah 26:3)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on fear of the future, because the Word says: "As it is written: "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit." (1 Cor 2:9-10)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on troubles, because the Word says: Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

Saturday, June 28, 2008

The Big Question for Any Relationship

I found this article and decided it was worth sharing...
The article is By: Neil Millar

I’ve got one big question. It’s a question that will make everything in your relationship completely worthwhile… even the bits that get on your nerves and cause you head and heart aches…

It’s the type of question you wouldn’t ordinarily ask - but that’s okay, because you didn’t know to ask it… until now!

For most people, relationships don’t go smoothly. Undercurrents, disputes, emotions, periods, children, habits, morals, values, work hours and workloads, these are just a few of the kind of things that can cause conflicts. But what if I told you something…

What if I told you it’s not about the issue?

My philosophy is that no issue is bigger than the relationship. If we’re honest it’s never really the issue that causes the problem. What causes the problem is the emotions behind the issue.

And what causes the emotions?

What causes the our relationship conflicts is, at the core, very rarely the issue that’s in front of us now. This may seem hard to take at first so let me explain a little more.
When we react to something someone says or does we are in effect re-acting - behaving in way we acted before. This is what we might call learned behaviour. We may have learned that behaviour in a number of ways: watching our parents behaviour in a relationship, seeing it on TV, our own experience etc.

Are these learned re-actions appropriate in all circumstances?

I’d say no. A few days ago my partner made a sweeping statement that… well… to be frank, pushed all my buttons. What she said was like a red rag to a bull. Thankfully I caught myself before any real damage was done. I immediately knew there was nothing wrong with what she had said, or how she had said it. But the words she used, reminded me of someone else and a pattern of behaviour I ran with them. This is the type of conditioned, unconscious, response I’m talking about.

If your partner presses your buttons does it mean the relationship bad?

Conflict doesn’t have to mean the relationship is bad. It can indicate that you, or your partner, or most probably both of you, on occasions, have some things that you need to become more aware of. If you can begin to view your relationship as a playground to work these things out, the relationship can become a whole new arena of fun and games. And this is where my question can really help…

My question will get you thinking about the how you can help yourself and your relationship become a harmonious haven rather than a gladiator’s ring. It will help you be a more understanding person for your partner and it will help to spare you from saying things you’ll regret later.

The question is profoundly simple. But when you ask it and use the outcome effectively you begin to take your relationship onto a new level. Things that used to cause you problems will vanish. And when new things come up they’ll have very little power.

When you find your buttons have been pushed the question you have to ask is this: What’s this really about?

Simple isn’t it. But it takes you right to the heart of the matter. As I said, relationship conflict is rarely about an issue and more to do with the conditioned responses.

By asking my question what you do is take the conditioned behaviour and transform it into the conscious. In effect what begins to happen is this: you move beyond the past conditioned response that causes conflict and are left with the current issue. This question allows you to understand what’s going on inside you. Knowing this means you can then bypass the past and deal with what is currently before you.

But what if you don’t want to move beyond the past?
Then I guess you’ll continue to re-act it out… until the pain and loss get the better of you.

Friday, June 27, 2008

100 quotes from "The Secret"

1. We all work with one infinite power.
2. The Secret is the Law of Attraction (LOA).
3. Whatever is going on in your mind is what you are attracting.
4. We are like magnets - like attracts like. You become AND attract what you think.
5. Every thought has a frequency. Thoughts send out a magnetic energy.
6. People think about what they don't want and attract more of the same.
7. Thought = creation. If these thoughts are attached to powerful emotions (good or bad that speeds the creation.
8. You attract your dominant thoughts.
9. Those who speak most of illness have illness, those who speak most of prosperity have it...etc..
10. It's not "wishful" thinking.
11. You can't have a universe without the mind entering into it.
12. Choose your thoughts carefully. You are a masterpiece of your life.
13. It's OK that thoughts don't manifest into reality immediately (if we saw a picture of an elephant and it instantly appeared, that would be too soon).
14. EVERYTHING in your life you have attracted. Accept that fact .. it's true.
15. Your thoughts cause your feelings.
16. We don't need to complicate all the "reasons" behind our emotions. It's much simpler than that. Two categories - good feelings, bad feelings.
17. Thoughts that bring about good feelings mean you are on the right track. Thoughts that bring about bad feelings means you are not on the right track.
18. Whatever it is you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming.
19. You get exactly what you are FEELING.
20. Happy feelings will attract more happy circumstances.
21. You can begin feeling whatever you want (even if it's not there) the universe will correspond to the nature of your song.
22. What you focus on with your thought and feeling is what you attract into your experience.
23. What you think and what you feel and what actually manifests is ALWAYS a match - no exception.
24. Shift your awareness.
25. "You create your own universe as you go along" Winston Churchill.
26. It's important to feel good ( ( ( (((good))) ) ) ).
27. You can change your emotion immediately by thinking of something joyful, or singing a song, or remembering a happy experience.
28. When you get the hang of this, before you know it you will KNOW you are the creator.
29. Life can and should be phenomenal. It will be when you consciously apply the Law of Attraction.
30. Universe will re-arrange itself accordingly.
31. Start by using this sentence for all of your wants: "I'm so happy and grateful now that.... "
32. You don't need to know HOW the universe is going to rearrange itself.
33. LOA is simply figuring out for yourself what will generate the positive feelings of having it NOW.
34. You might get an inspired thought or idea to help you move towards what you want faster.
35. The universe likes SPEED. Don't delay, don't second-guess, don't doubt.
36. When the opportunity or impulse is there - ACT.
37. You will attract everything you require - money, people, connections. PAY ATTENTION to what's being set in front of you.
38. You can start with nothing and out of nothing or no way - a WAY will be provided.
39. HOW LONG??? No rules on time. The more aligned you are with positive feelings the quicker things happen.
40. Size is nothing to the universe (unlimited abundance if that's what you wish). We make the rules on size and time.
41. No rules according to the universe. You provide the feelings of having it now and the universe will respond.
42. Most people offer the majority of their thought in response to what they are observing (bills in the mail, being late, having bad luck...etc..).
43. You have to find a different approach to what is through a different vantage point.
44. "All that we are is a result of what we have thought" - Buddha.
45. What can you do right now to turn your life around?? Gratitude.
46. Gratitude will bring more into our lives immediately.
47. What we think about and THANK about is what we bring about.
48. What are the things you are grateful for?? Feel the gratitude. Focus on what you have right now that you are grateful for.
49. Play the picture in your mind - focus on the end result.
50. VISUALIZE!!! Rehearse your future.
51. VISUALIZE!!! See it, feel it! This is where action begins.
52. Feel the joy, feel the happiness .
53. An affirmative thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative one.
54. "What this power is,I cannot say. All I know is that it exists." Alexander Graham Bell.
55. Our job is not to worry about the "How". The "How" will show up out of the commitment and belief in the "what".
56. The Hows are the domain of the universe. It always knows the quickest, fastest, most harmonious way between you and your dream.
57. If you turn it over to the universe, you will be surprised and dazzled by what is delivered. This is where magic and miracles happen.
58. Turn it over to the universe daily, but it should never be a chore.
59. Feel exhilarated by the whole process - high, happy, in tune.
60. The only difference between people who are really living this way is they have habituated ways of being.
61. They remember to do it all the time.
62. Create a Vision Board - pictures of what you want to attract. Look at it every day and get into the feeling state of already having acquired these wants.
63. "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." Albert Einstein.
64. Decide what you want. Believe you can have it, believe you deserve it, believe it's possible for you.
65. Close your eyes and visualize having what you already want - and the feeling of having it already.
66. Focus on being grateful for what you have already. Enjoy it!! Then release into the universe. The universe will manifest it.
67. "Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve" W. Clement Stone.
68. Set a goal so big that if you achieved it, it would blow your mind.
69. When you have an inspired thought, you must trust it and act on it.
70. How can you become more prosperous?? INTEND IT!!
71. 'Checks are coming in the mail regularly'... or change your bank statement to whatever balance you want in there... and get behind the feeling of having it.
72. Life is meant to be abundant in ALL areas...
73. Go for the sense of inner joy and peace then all outside things appear.
74. We are the creators of our universe.
75. Relationships: Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others. Love yourself and you will be loved.
76. Healthy respect for yourself.
77. For those you work with or interact with regularly - get a notebook and write down positive aspects of each of those people.
78. Write down the things you like most about them (don't expect change from them). Law of attraction will not put you in the same space together if you frequencies don't match.
79. When you realize your potential to feel good, you will ask no one to be different in order for you to feel good.
80. You will free yourself from the cumbersome impossibilities of needing to control the world, your friends, your mate, your children....
81. You are the only one that creates your reality.
82. No one else can think or feel for you. Its YOU and ONLY YOU.
83. Health: thank the universe for your own healing. Laugh, stress free happiness will keep you healthy.
84. Immune system will heal itself.
85. Parts of our bodies are replace every day, every week..etc... Within a few years we have a brand new body.
86. See yourself living in a new body. Hopeful = recovery. Happy = happier biochemistry. Stress degrades the body.
87. Remove stress from the body and the body regenerates itself. You can heal yourself.
88. Learn to become still. Take your attention away from what you don't want, and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
89. When the voice and vision on the inside become more profound and clear than the opinions on the outside, then you have mastered your life.
90. You are not here to try to get the world to be just as you want it. You are here to create the world around you that you choose.
91. Allow the world as others choose to see it, exist as well.
92. People think that if everyone knows the power of the LOA there won't be enough to go around. This is a lie that's been ingrained in us and makes so many greedy.
93. The truth is there is more than enough love, creative ideas, power, joy, happiness to go around.
94. All of this abundance begins to shine through a mind that is aware of it's own infinite nature. There's enough for everyone. See it. Believe it. It will show up for you.
95. So let the variety of your reality thrill you as you choose all the things you want. Get behind the good feelings of all your wants.
96. Write your script. When you see things you don't want, don't think about them, write about them, talk about them, push against them, or join groups that focus on the don't wants. Remove your attention from don't wants and place them on do wants.
97. We are mass energy. Everything is energy. EVERYTHING.
98. Don't define yourself by your body. It's the infinite being that's connected to everything in the universe.
99. One energy field. Our bodies have distracted us from our energy. We are the infinite field of unfolding possibilities. The creative force.
100. Are your thoughts worthy of you? If not - NOW is the time to change them. You can begin right were you are right now. Nothing matters but this moment and what you are focusing your attention on.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Choice Is Yours!

After a particularly bad week at work, I decided that it’s time to stand up for myself ! Being the person that I am, I had walked around for days trying to please and motivate everyone, only to find myself completely drained and exhausted by the end of the week!

Did I have a choice?

After doing a fair bit of soul searching, I had to admit that the answer to this question was a definite yes!

I remembered that we always have a choice in life, and that there are, in fact, endless possibilities every minute of every day:

Right now, if I wanted to, I could stop writing this blog, pack my bags, and just disappear for a while.

Alternatively, I could go into the nearest bar and start a conversation with a group of complete strangers. I could also dye my hair pink, or take off all my clothes and run down the street naked ! I could pick up the phone and make a call to someone that I haven’t spoken to in fifteen years, or I could stand in the middle of Victoria station and start singing a song!

Some of these options might seem a bit mad, but they certainly are possible! So why not?
We also have a choice when it comes to people:

Who do we surround ourselves with? I recommend that you surround yourself with positive, fun and supportive people. Why? Because they nourish, energize and inspire you.
But what should we do when we find ourselves surrounded by negative people?

Again, there are various options to choose from:

We can try to please them and end up feeling drained- not a good choice! We can move away from them as much as possible - better! Or, and this is what I suggest, we can try to point them into a different direction by offering positive support and advice - BUT: as soon as we notice that they would rather stay negative and continue blaming others - and life in general - we have to protect ourselves by limiting the time that we spend with these individuals. We can then move on, thus saving our energies and efforts for us and the people who truly deserve it!

But don’t I have to please everyone and be nice all the time so that I can be a good citizen and go to heaven?

If you are being nice all the time because you think you have to, then unfortunately you are not doing yourself or anyone else a favour. If you are acting in a certain way because you feel obliged to do so, then your actions don’t really come from your heart anyway - so what are they worth in the first place? And if you are being drained by people, then how can you be filled with positive energy yourself? Furthermore, if you aren’t filled with positive energy yourself, then how can your positive energy overflow into other people’s lives?

When on a plane we are always being told to use our own oxygen mask first before helping others. It’s the same in life - if you can’t “breathe” yourself, then you can’t give to others.
Once we feel healthy, wealthy and full, the universe starts to correspond to the nature of our song; We attract even better things, and helping and giving to others happens naturally and effortlessly.

What choices will you make today?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Waiting On Your Big Break Is Playing Desperation Life

Have you ever put all your eggs in one basket? Have you ever had so much riding on one big break that if it didn't happen you would have to move down to the zoo and live off of kudzu and stump water? If you have, you're playing desperation life!

Desperation Life = Trouble Before You Start!

If you're playing desperation life, then you didn't do something right early on. Being forced to go for the big break could almost be a good definition of failure. You're hoping for a last ditch effort to pull your dream out of the muck.

Sometimes a last ditch effort is all you need; most of the time, you're playing Russian roulette. If the big break is your conscious plan then your strategy is sucking wind already. The steady as she goes planning will increase your odds of success tremendously.

You'll find that your planning and strategy will fit the game plan very nicely as there will not be nearly as much pressure on you.

Success Begets Success!

Planning for the success of a project is much better handled when you are planning your strategy in bits and pieces. Small steps along the way will make huge strides.

It's like the question, "how do you eat an elephant?" One bite at a time.Far too often, we try to take giant steps toward the goal line to speed up the process. And, then in the process, we end up farther behind because the faster we go the behinder we get.Big breaks can just not be planned or forced. They just happen. Big breaks come to everyone at some time or another.

If you think you've never had a big break, that's not true. You might have not recognized it, but they do come around to everyone at times, sometimes very camouflaged but, there nonetheless.

Throwing Caution To The Winds!

The guy waiting on the big break will bet the whole farm on his idea. He is so sure that it will succeed that the sky is the limit as to what he will sacrifice to have it. As stated, these ideas work sometimes, but it's the exception rather than the rule.

The pursuit of the big break is not wrong in and of itself. It's just the approach to the big break that causes them to fail so often. We put just one strategy, plan, technique, or method into play and that's all we got.

If that one method doesn't work, we're up the dirty creek without a paddle.By the same token, if we put together a bits and pieces plan to approach this situation, then we're really not depending on the big break. We're using the techniques that will increase our odds of success.

Too Tired To Sleep!

The big break then often shows up and right out of the blue presents us with a nice trophy. But the most frustrating part is when we try to force it, gamble for it, or spend every waking hour in a gut wrenching frame of mind hoping for success from it.

For example: We have all heard of the TV star that got his big break. He was just walking down the street and some producer saw him and made him a star.Then there is the person who decides to go to acting school and learn the art of acting and makes his way by small steps to stardom.

Maybe this guy will never make it. But, what are the probabilities of the first guy? The second guy is making plans in a calculated manner and does not look for his help coming by just happening to be in the right place at the right time.

An Uphill Battle!

You should understand that depending on the big break is as unreliable as it is infrequent. And, it can also do harm to your motivation. Living by the desperation of a big break can become enough of a habit that you fail to make calculated plans for success.

You will develop the jack-rabbit start in everything you do and run out of gas long before you get to the finish line.It can cause you to completely overlook a viable opportunity when it comes your way.

If the opportunity looks like a big break and it smells like a big break, then make calculated risks and turn it into a planned strategy.

When You End Up With Lemons, Make Lemonade!

It doesn't necessarily have to be avoided. It just needs to be approached with a different attitude than someone would approach the big break. I.e. The big break mentality.If you consider the big break as an accidental occurrence, then life does not become a series of desperation attempts.

Surprisingly, big breaks can be helped by natural occurrences that happen accidentally.But, the worse thing you can do is to always be looking for one magic pill that will create a big bang and bring instant success. Living for the big break will be a sure recipe for disaster.Brink Of Disaster!

Big breaks will come around in a natural response to the project you're trying to complete. Take advantage of them as they come naturally; just don't set up yourself for depending on them in a nick of time. You might find out your "nick" is on the brink of disaster.How do you know if you are waiting on the big break?

Ask yourself, have you analyzed the upside and downside? If you have and can see what the risks to reward are, then you are not waiting on the big break.

You Won't Suffer From Stress, You'll Be A Carrier!

If you find yourself wringing your hands, hoping against hope, in fear of disaster, you're playing with fire. And, the proverbial fat lady is just about ready to sing for you.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Unlock Your Self Improvement Power

When we look at a certain object, a painting for example - we won't be able to appreciate what's in it, what is painted and what else goes with it if the painting is just an inch away from our face. But if we try to take it a little further, we'll have a clearer vision of the whole art work.
We reach a point in our life when we are ready for change and a whole bunch of information that will help us unlock our self improvement power. Until then, something can be staring us right under our nose but we don't see it.
The only time we think of unlocking our self improvement power is when everything got worst. Take the frog principle for example -Try placing Frog A in a pot of boiling water. What happens? He twerps! He jumps off! Why? Because he is not able to tolerate sudden change in his environment - the water's temperature.
Then try Frog B: place him in a luke warm water, then turn the gas stove on. Wait til the water reaches a certain boiling point. Frog B then thinks "Ooh... it's a bit warm in here". People are like Frog B in general.
Today, Anna thinks Carl hates her. Tomorrow, Patrick walks up to her and told her he hates her. Anna stays the same and doesn't mind her what her friends says. The next day, she learned that Kim and John also abhors her.
Anna doesn't realize at once the importance and the need for self improvement until the entire community hates her.We learn our lessons when we experience pain. We finally see the warning signs and signals when things get rough and tough. When do we realize that we need to change diets? When none of our jeans and shirts would fit us.
When do we stop eating candies and chocolates? When all of our teeth has fallen off. When do we realize that we need to stop smoking? When our lungs have gone bad. When do we pray and ask for help? When we realize that we're gonna die tomorrow.
The only time most of us ever learn about unlocking our self improvement power is when the whole world is crashing and falling apart. We think and feel this way because it is not easy to change. But change becomes more painful when we ignore it.Change will happen, like it or hate it.
At one point or another, we are all going to experience different turning points in our life - and we are all going to eventually unlock our self improvement power not because the world says so, not because our friends are nagging us, but because we realized its for our own good.
Happy people don't just accept change, they embrace it. Now, you don't have to feel a tremendous heat before realizing the need for self improvement. Unlocking your self improvement power means unlocking yourself up in the cage of thought that "its just the way I am". It is such a poor excuse for people who fear and resist change.
Most of us program our minds like computers.Jen repeatedly tells everyone that she doesn't have the guts to be around groups of people. She heard her mom, her dad, her sister, her teacher tell the same things about her to other people. Over the years, that is what Jen believes. She believes its her story. And what happens? Every time a great crowd would troop over their house, in school, and in the community - she tends to step back, shy away and lock herself up in a room.
Jen didn't only believed in her story, she lived it.Jen has to realize that she is not what she is in her story. Instead of having her story post around her face for everyone to remember, she has to have the spirit and show people "I am an important person and I should be treated accordingly!"
Self improvement may not be everybody's favorite word, but if we look at things in a different point of view, we might have greater chances of enjoying the whole process instead of counting the days until we are fully improved.
Three sessions in a week at the gym would result to a healthier life, reading books instead of looking at porns will shape up a more profound knowledge, going out with friends and peers will help you take a step back from work and unwind. And just when you are enjoying the whole process of unlocking your self improvement power, you'll realize that you're beginning to take things light and become happy.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Figure Out the Pebble in Your Shoe

"By asking for the impossible, we obtain the best possible." ~ Italian saying
If you are serious about achieving a more meaningful life then you'll need a new perspective for viewing your life and your career. The following exercise is a new method for going through your day and your week. I t’s a new sense of being alive being responsible, being at choice, and being the architect in your life.
Tomorrow, you'll be totally conscious about everything you do, see, say, feel, smell, taste and who you are being. Use your notebook, journal or computer file to capture notes, thoughts and insights.
Exercise: A Totally Conscious DayNotice everything!
Write down your observations using 1-2 words or several sentences. There is no wrong or right way to do it. As soon as you wake up, notice the first thoughts that enter your mind. Write them down. Go into the bathroom. Look into the mirror. Look into your eyes. Really look! Smile. Spend a minute looking into your eyes. Smile goodbye. Write down feelings or thoughts you experienced. As you get ready for work notice everything the rhythm of brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, the motion your arm makes as you stroke on your makeup, etc.
Write down any thoughts or describe any pictures that come to mind. On your way to work, notice your surroundings. What are the buildings like? What does your route to work smell like? Can you smell the restaurants, factories, etc? Do you smell trees in bloom? As you get closer to work, what sensations do you notice in your body? Write down every observation.
When the day is over, spend a few quiet minutes in bed reading your notes. Do you remember things you didn't capture before? Write them down in a different color pen than your notes from earlier in the day. Finally, spend five minutes writing your impressions of what you captured and what you experienced being totally conscious.
This exercise provides a lot of perspective and insight, but you have to actually DO it not just read the directions and say "That sounds like a great idea. I’ll try it later." It’s really important to "get clear."
This first step is critical to your success. If you make the decision to become conscious to become completely aware of what is really going on you become aware of what it is that you really want. We often become excited after participating in a workshop, attending a seminar or reading a book. We think, "Oh, this is it. This is the thing that’s going to change my life."
However, we don't make the decision to start, to take action. Or we may think that by simply reading a book, it will somehow magically change our lives: "The information is going to float over me and my life is going to be different."
When the pebble in our shoe bugs us enough, we pick up a book or attend a seminar. We briefly take off our shoe. We enjoy the comfort of the idea of not traveling with the pebble in our shoe anymore. When the seminar or book is finished, we put our shoe back on over the pebble. Then we start our journey again. We feel a little lighter and more enthusiastic, because of encountering new material. So the pebble is barely noticeable. However, we never made a decision a conscious choice to remove the pebble or get shoes that keep the pebble from falling back in again.We never really get started.
Whether you know what you want to do or no longer want that quiet, nag pebble in your shoe the realization that you need to make a change and take action is a great place to be. When you make the decision to move forward, it’s truly a momentous occasion. Today, you are finally awake.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Fear and Indecision: The Joy Killers

Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life.

There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other.

There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment. Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad.

With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?

There are no guarantees. You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life.

Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness.

Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent.

There are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control, or so it would seem. Know this to be true: the only things you have power over are the decisions that you make, and how you act and react to different situations.

That is a huge relief, actually. It takes the pressure of a bit, yes? So let’s take a look at this decision-making thing, and the fears that come up around it.

Starting with the fear of making a wrong decision, or a mistake. Here’s what you need to know:

There are no mistakes: Wrong decisions are always at hindsight. Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one? It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong. Or was it? Moreover, what if there was a way you could let go of all of your fear about making decisions?

Take that risk: decide! Often, it is not the end action that creates the most fear; it is the decision to act or not act. Since life offers no guarantees and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well let go of all of your fear, take the risk, and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you seemingly lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, and even open more fantastic roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life.

You have the choice to let go of your fear of deciding. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option for overcoming fear of deciding in the face of life’s crossroads:

5. Get as much information as you can about your situation. You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with.
Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

Now, after all of this exhausting information gathering, ask your mind if it knows these answers. Does it have any? When you discover it doesn’t, skip to the Number One Way below.

4. Identify and create options. What options does the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, and sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end. Have you been able to “figure it out yet?” No? When you discover you haven’t, simply check out the Number One way below.

3. Weigh the pros and cons of every option. Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option. Now you are getting closer! Skip down to the Number One way below, to discover an incredibly simple technique for doing just this very thing, and then letting it go for good.

2. Trust yourself and make that decision. Or, you could just skip everything and move to the Number One way of overcoming the fear of making any decision, no matter how small:

1. LET GO, LET GO, LET GO. Let go of all of your many complex layers of fear with one simple, all natural way to eliminate and dissolve all negative feelings right on the spot. You can do it!

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So decide to believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time. Decide that you are doing the best you can. Be easy on yourself.

Do it the easy way, by letting go of your fear of deciding. Whatever you do, please remember the most important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Choose to let of all regrets, whatever the outcome of your decisions. Instead, learn from those experiences, see them as perfect, and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future. You also have the chance to make the best decision of your life right NOW.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Everybody “Wants” - But How Many Really Have The Motivation To Get It?

Every action you take, no matter how big or how small, defines everything that you achieve in life. And, with every action there is a motive - something that puts a person in motion.

But, what is the real definition of MOTIVATION? Is motivation an incentive, such as a monetary reward or a gift? For example, when you were younger your father or mother might have told you that, “For every “A” you get in school next semester, I’ll give you a specified amount of money”.

I’ll bet that it probably worked. You achieved a few “A’s”, took the cash and then achieved less than stellar grades the following semester when the incentive was not offered again.Or is motivation a threat?

For example, your doctor may have told you recently, “If you don’t lose weight, exercise regularly and eat right, your cholesterol level will continue to be through the roof! So, for a few months, you do what the doctor says. You go back for a follow up. Your health is better. And to celebrate, you head off to the nearest fast-food restaurant for a greasy burger, greasier fries and sugary drink. Again, the effect is temporary.

Motivation is not about external incentives, rewards, inducements or threats. My definition of motivation is “an emotion or desire that operates on the “will to do” and causes it to take action”.

To be long lasting, motivation MUST come from inside you. Seneca said, “Most powerful is he that has himself in his own power”. The “will to do” is the greatest power in the world tied to human accomplishment. And no one can predict its limits. Where does the “will to do” come from? Unlike the products in so many advertisements, television infomercials and “spammy” e-mails, it does not come in a handy pill to instantaneously transform you from a “dud” to a “stud”.So how does one develop a high level of motivation that serves them day in and day out?

Motivation Strategy #1:
There Needs To Be A Desire To Change Within You...
Every one of us possesses some level of "will to do”. It is the inner energy which controls all conscious and subconscious acts. Your “will to do” directs your life forces, habits (both good and bad) and your condition in life. Your will has a connection with all avenues of knowledge, activities, and accomplishment.

When you develop the power of concentration within you, you will have developed a higher level of self mastery and your “will to do”.The “will to do” is a force that is strictly practical. We know it is a force through its cause-and-effect nature. It is a power, like electricity, we can direct. To the extent we direct it, we determine our future. Every time you accomplish any definite act, consciously or subconsciously, you use the principle of the will. Through the “will to do” you can do anything.

Therefore the way you use your will - both right and wrong - will make a huge difference in the outcome of your life focus. You probably know of cases where people have shown tremendous strength under some traumatic experience: The frail person who lifts a heavy car to save the person trapped underneath. The fireman, who rushes into a burning building in order to save others, is another example. In both examples, they used their "will to do" to accomplish the task.

The “will to do” can accomplish great results through activities that grow out of great concentration. In developing the power of concentration, we acquire the power of voluntary attention to such an extent that we can direct it where we want to and hold it steadily to its task, until we accomplish our goals. When you learn to use your will power it becomes a mighty force.

Almost everything can be accomplished through its proper use. It is greater than physical force because it can be used to control not only your physical actions, but also your mental health and mind power.

Motivation Strategy #2:
Develop “Clearly-Defined Goals”...
Many human-performance experts, including yours truly, believe the #1 reason why most people will never get what they want is they - roll of the drum, please! - really don’t know what they want.

A few years ago, a study by the Ford Foundation revealed that 90% of people have no idea or plans for getting what they want in life! Imagine how motivated you will be if you start every day with clearly-defined goals and the emotion and desire for achievement in all areas of your life.

For example, what if you took time to visualize your exciting and very specific career and financial objectives? Then, you created objectives for the personal and professional relationships in your life. And, when you were done, you took the time to write down these thoughts in a written action plan with on-going self improvement and self-development milestones.

Can you see how this would give you more excitement and motivation everyday? Don't you agree that clarity about your direction in life is a powerful motivator?Einstein said, “An object in motion tends to stay in motion”. I challenge you to become an “object in perpetual motion” by beginning to use these two strategies. For additional motivation strategies and effective exercises to develop your “will to do”, please visit our website and see our Success Systems.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Enthusiasm, Pure Divine Energy!

Enthusiasm is one of the most divine feelings we can experience. Enthusiasm is energy vibrating at the highest level, energy vibrating in tune with creation. When we are feeling enthusiasm, we are on the cruise ship of divinity.

This divine feeling of excitement is your reward for heading towards your true soul purpose. You will never feel enthusiasm when you are doing the “wrong” thing with the “wrong” people at the “wrong” time.

When you are off track, you will feel emptiness, fatigue, depression, frustration and anger. Enthusiasm is what lets you know that you are right on track with your life.

The word « Enthusiasm » has its roots in the Greek language; it literally means « the God within ». The etymology of the word reminds us of the divine source of the feeling called enthusiasm. An enthusiastic person is someone who is positively possessed, in an extraordinary fashion, by the spirit of God.

Enthusiasm equals passion.

It is the thrill and tremble you feel when you take the risk of being yourself!
Enthusiasm is a wave emanating from the soul, lifting you up and taking you along.
It is the very Life Energy that freely flows through you when you dare to be yourself!
Enthusiasm can be seen in the twinkling of your eyes, the determination in your step, the strength in your hands, the irresistible energetic pull of what you have decided to create.

When you feel enthusiastic, nothing can stop you! You must and will go on, no matter what others are pulling out of their hat to try to stop you. When you are working towards your goal with enthusiasm, nothing can hold you back. You jump out of bed early in the morning because your goal, your dream, is calling you. The entire day you are working for the achievement of your goal, losing track of time without feeling hungry. You live in another dimension, carried along and aloft by a divine energy. The material details of life seem small and insignificant and they can no longer distract you, for you have more important things to do. You have a veritable Life Goal, something that entails your whole being and your whole doing.

When you are one with your Life Goal, you feel a divine energy carrying you; it is called enthusiasm. You are still in this world, but you are no longer of this world. You are able to accomplish large amounts of work that others may consider humanly impossible. It is this very divine energy flowing through you that enables you to accomplish the impossible.
Enthusiasm is the elevating force that lifts your dreams up to the stars.

The world evolves by grace of the powerful thrust of highly motivated, enthusiastic people.
Enthusiasm is the wondrous engine of life!

Enthusiasm is directly linked to passion. You have to find your passion in order to feel enthusiasm. You won’t be able to generate enthusiasm by endlessly repeating a lousy job you hate. You have to stop doing the things you hate, the things you don’t like, the things that drag your energy vibration down. You have to start doing what you like doing, what you have always liked doing since you were a kid, things that boost your energy, things you can lose yourself in while doing them, things that totally absorb you and make you lose track of time, make you forget about the details of daily routine.

This passion is your birthright – go look for it. I can help you find your passion if you want to find and claim it. Visit my website and find out how to discover your passion in life!

In closing I present to you a few quotes from celebrities:

A man dies for the first time, the day he loses his enthusiasm. – HonorĂ© de Balzac

All great moments in world history are due to the triumph of enthusiasm. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

A person incapable of enthusiasm is a mediocre person. – HonorĂ© de Balzac

Enthusiasm surfaces when you strive with dedication towards worthy goals. And it is enthusiasm that frees the energy and the power. – Woodrow Wilson

Enthusiasm carries the spirit towards sublime thoughts, surprising and true. – De Piles

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Charge your Life With Energy Through Positive Attitude

What is positive attitude? Can it really charge my life with energy? Is positive attitude really that important in life? These are some of the question that people like to ask.

Firstly in order to define positive attitude, it can be defined as a positive outlook towards whatever things that they see and experience. Positive attitude is being programmed in our mind to repel away all the negative things which include negative people, negative thoughts etc. Of course in life, life is not always smooth sailing as we might face with obstacles, problems, hardship. But those people that have a positive attitude will treat each of these problems as a step which is nearer to their success.

Then the next question will can positive attitude really charge my life? There is a saying before that whatever action that we take or the kind of habit that we have all comes from our mind. Constant thinking will lead to taking action. Constant doing the same action will lead to habits. Constantly having the same habits will lead to our fate. So whatever kind of attitude and thinking we have in our mind will directly affect our life.

There is energy in every thought that we have. A positive attitude will amplify the thoughts and a negative attitude will suck out the energy. When you have a positive attitude and everything around you looks like a stepping stone to you, you will also be able to influence other people. You will be able to transfer this positive attitude energy to another person so that he will be able to solve his own problem and be charged with energy. When you are able to make people happy and have a positive attitude, you will feel so happy that you will be charged with energy.

If you want to experience it yourself. For one whole week, try as much as possible to think of the positive thing and have a positive attitudes towards everything. Help people to also have positive attitude. I believe you will definitely see some changes in you. So start having a positive attitude today.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Are you Able to Consciously Choose a Positive Attitude?

Positive attitude is something that comes from our head. So is it possible to consciously choose a positive attitude? This article will show what my opinions towards positive attitude are.

Imagine today is a perfect day for you. Everything that you do is very smooth and you did not face any problems today. You are able to wake up early; your kids did not give you any trouble, your boss and your colleagues did not find any trouble. When you go back home, your spouse talks to you in a nice way and prepare a nice dinner for you. Wow this really seems like a perfect day and I am able to consciously choose a positive attitude because everything seems to be going so smoothly.

The real tricky part comes when you are facing with all kinds of problem from morning to night. Are you still able to consciously have a positive attitude? This is the tricky part. There is no such thing as a bad or good experience, and it is up to you on how you want to interpret the situation. What is your attitude towards the problems that you are facing right now? Do you want to have a negative attitude towards the problems and your whole be ruined or you would rather have a positive attitude and look hopefully in the future again. This are question that we can ask ourselves when we face problems.

There is one thing that we need to know and that is what we choose to focus the most; it will come out of our life. When we choose to have a positive attitude, we will attract all the positive things. It has a snowball effect and that can be said for negative attitude too as if something bad happen to us in the morning and we have a negative attitude towards it, our whole day will be ruined. But if you have a positive attitude, you will just shrug it off and continue towards your goal.

It is not easy to go 100% having a positive attitude whenever you face problem. But what you can do is to do it bit by bit. Slowly when times goes by, it will slowly become your habit. When it has become your habit, you already have strengthened this habit and you will almost instantly have a positive attitude whenever something happen. So start small everyday and you will be able to consciously choose positive attitude.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

How To Build Self Confidence: Get Into Peak Performance Instantly

Have you ever wanted to be absolutely confident in certain situations when you were feeling unsure? Would it be empowering for you to get into a state of being totally motivated instead of feeling the usual lethargy?

Now, you need to learn how to build self confidence by getting into your peak performance instantly.The truth is, if you want to learn how to build self confidence, all you have to do is to adopt the total physiology of confidence.

If you want to feel motivated, adopt the physiology of motivation. This is called the 'Act as if…' principle. In other words, if you want to feel a certain state, act as if you were already in that state.You need to know that confidence, motivation and excitement are nothing but emotional states that you have experienced in the past.

If you could access these states in a past situation, those same resources are available to you now! All you have to do is to model the exact same physiology you were in when you experienced it previously.Here's another exercise on how to build self confidence by getting yourself into a state of confidence any time you want.

Imagine that you are going to make a presentation, which you have prepared for but, as usual, you don't feel confident at all. And it has been this lack of confidence that has affected your performance in the past. How do you get yourself into a confident state? If you were to think about it, I'm sure there must have been a time whereby you felt absolutely confident. So what you need to do now is to go back to that moment where you felt really confident and adopt the same physiology you were in. Stand the way you were standing and breathe the way you were breathing. Say to yourself what you would normally say when you are absolutely confident.If you had followed the above exercise conscientiously, I bet you would feel a state of confidence. By modeling the exact same physiology your body was in previously, you will be able to feel the confidence surging through your body, ready to take on any challenge!So now that you know this simple exercise on how to build self confidence any time you want, use it to get yourself into a state of confidence any time you want! And you'll be able to enter peak performance instantly!

Monday, June 16, 2008

How To Improve Your Self-Esteem

How much do you like yourself? How valuable a person do you think you are? How competent do you think you are? The answers to these questions reflect your self esteem, the value you place on yourself. People who have self-esteem, for example, are going to communicate this throughout their verbal and non-verbal messages.

So let's take a look at the various points on how to improve your self-esteem.Firstly, to learn how to improve your self-esteem, observe the ways which people with have self-esteem phrase their ideas and questions or the way they hold their head and maintain eye contact. Chances are, it's likely to differ greatly from the way the person with low self-esteem would communicate.

Similarly, people with different views of themselves will develop and maintain relationships with friends, lovers, and family differently.Self-esteem is important, it is thought, because success breeds success.

When you feel good about yourself - about who you are and what you're capable of doing - you will perform better. When you think like a success, you're more likely to act like a success. When you think you're a failure, you're more likely to act like a failure. Increasing self-esteem will, therefore, help you to function more effectively in school, in interpersonal relationships and in careers.

Here are a few tips on how to increase your self-esteem:

How to Increase Your Self-Esteem Tip #1: Secure affirmation
It's recommended that you remind yourself of your success- that you focus on your good acts; your good deeds; your positive qualities, strengths, and virtues; and your productive and meaningful relationships with friends, loved ones, and relatives. If you talk positively about yourself, you will come to feel more positive about yourself.

How to Increase Your Self-Esteem Tip #2: Seek out nourishing people
Nourishing people are extremely positive. They're optimists and they reward you and make you feel good about yourself. Here too, with time, you'll come to believe these compliments and positive statements; as a result, your self-esteem is likely to rise.

How to Increase Your Self-Esteem Tip #3:
Work on projects that will result in successSome people want to fail, or so it seems. Often, they select projects that will result in failure. Perhaps the projects are too large or too difficult. In any event, they're impossible. A more beneficial strategy is to select projects that will result in success. Each success helps build self-esteem.

Each success makes the next success a little easier. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't dream big; only that in some cases you may be tempted to try the impossible and be hurt when you don't succeed.

When a project does fail, recognize that this doesn't mean that you're a failure. Everyone fails somewhere along the line. Failure is something that happens; it's not something inside you.

Further, failing once does not mean that you will fail the next time. So put failure in perspective. Don't make it an excuse for not trying again.Take note of the above tips on how to improve your self-esteem and I'm sure your self-esteem will increase tremendously in time to come!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I Think I Can. I Think I Can. Can I?

I think I can. I think I can. Can I?

Your mental train ticket to self-empowerment

We all find ourselves at certain points in our lives holding first class tickets to negative mental trains of thought. Michele Wahlder (MS, LPC, PCC), a two-time cancer survivor and Dallas, Texas-based Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist, has placed thousands of people on the right track to self-empowerment via a plan she calls the 5 C Process. The journey challenges individuals to:


Clarify Current View – Where are you now- honestly?

Conscious awareness of your current view is the first step in becoming the best you can be. Getting clear about how your life aligns with your values, talents and unique gifts is vital to your happiness. You need to know where you are in order to learn where you want to go.

You can clarify your current view by completing a review of eight life areas. Be honest with yourself about how happy are you with your profession, finances, health and overall well-being, primary relationships, personal development, spirituality, environment, hobbies, etc.


Connect with Your Highest Vision – Where do you want to be?

Example: A friend of mine, a yoga instructor, decided she was happy teaching but wanted to contribute to the world on a larger level. She wasn’t happy with the quality of the yoga clothing that was accessible to her and her fellow yogis. Her vision was to design and create fun, hip and timeless yoga clothes using eco-conscious fabrics.

You have to get really clear about what you want. It is crucial that you connect to your highest vision of yourself because you can’t create it unless you are clear about what it looks like. If you don’t have a vision of where you want to go or what you want to be, you will most likely NOT get there. To quote Henrietta Klauser, “If you have a connection to what you want, take the next step and write it down.” If you don’t have any idea about what you want, or how you want to be in life to bring about greater happiness, begin looking through magazines and create a Vision Board/Collage of what attracts you. You may also want to consider getting an outside perspective from a friend or a professional coach. I take my clients through a guided imagery that gives them a glimpse of what their future could look like. There are also books that can help guide you. Just get help assessing your talents, divine gifts and abilities and then determine how you want to use them more fully in the world. We can’t help others as fully, if we are not aware of how we can best serve. So instead of thinking of it as selfish to engage in knowing yourself better, I would suggest you consider it selfish to hold back and not be the best you can be. Only in this way, can we help the world and others.


Create Inspiring Goals – How will you get there?

Example: My friend created a tiered plan of what needed to happen step by step – outer goal. All of this was influenced by her inner goal of keeping a measured pace and a balanced life. Her goal was to enjoy the process.

You have to create a plan and take specific actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. When most people write goals, they just write a list of action steps, usually external actions. I believe it is more powerful to have inner and outer goals. An outer goal is what you want. For instance, you might think, “I want a new house”. An inner goal is more focused on the how. How will a new home benefit me and my family? Will it offer more common gathering areas, a larger kitchen so that we can cook together, etc.? How can I appreciate what I have now until I get this home? How can I make this a joyful experience rather than a stressful one? If you can not be grateful for what you have now, then when you get a new home, it will only create very short-term happiness for you. Then, you will be focused on the next external illusion of happiness. For 2008, I suggest taking at least three of the life areas I mentioned earlier and jot down how you couldbenefit from living your highest vision in each area. Next, add action steps toward your desired achievements along with completion dates.


Clear Obstacles – How will you remove obstacles in your way?

We all have dreams and visions for our life, but frankly, there are many things that can get in the way. The two most common obstacles I see with my friends are:

The inability to say NO— In order to bridge the gap from your current view to your highest vision, you have to make room for what “Could Be”. If your life is full and you want to add more of the things that are truly important in your life, you should start the change process by making room first. You must say no to some things in your life, so you can say yes to what is most important. You have to give up the destructive habits, behaviors and activities to make room for new ones.

A metaphor would be a water hose watering a flowering plant. The water in the hose is your life force and the flowering plant is what you are trying to grow in your life. If the water hose has leaks, it will not have enough water or life force/energy to reach its desired outcome or vision (to grow the plant into full bloom). Examples of leaks might include toxic friendships, unrealistic expectations, watching too much television, eating sugar, overspending, negative relational patterns with your spouse or working on an outdated job.

Example: A friend’s obstacle here was that her 8- year-old daughter needed caring for and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to be a good mother plus jumpstart a successful, new business.
We remedied this issue by getting clear on the proper definition of a good mother. Also, practically speaking, she needed help picking up her daughter from school. So she got her husband to assist her in this area so she would have time to create this new business.

Negative self-talk—Research shows we have approximately 60,000 internal messages we say to ourselves daily. We are constantly walking around having conversations with ourselves. And it is what we say that makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives.

Example: I was once in a coffee shop, and I watched this woman spill her coffee while reaching for a sugar packet and I heard her say out loud, “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”

Now, I just happen to hear her, but this is an example of something you might say internally as well. You might think, “No big deal. I say things like this to myself all the time.” Well, IT IS A BIG DEAL as our subconscious hears these messages and acts on them as if they were real. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want someone else saying to you.

Think of self-talk like mental fuel. Now, imagine filling your car with dirty water. We all know you wouldn’t get very far. Now, take that same car and fill it with high quality gasoline. You’ll most likely reach your destination. It is the same with people and the words we use. If the words are negative and toxic, we will sputter along with low energy and our performance suffers. If our words are positive and tender, we will feel confident, energized, encouraged and will most likely meet our goals faster and easier. Here are some key things to remember if you ever find yourself preparing to board the train of BAD self-talk:

B– stands for belittling self-talk. Stop telling yourself, “I am not good enough.” If your dream is to have a healthy self-confidence, which of the following examples is more likely to get your there:

A. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”

B. “Whoops, mistakes happen.”

Can you see how the Answer B is much kinder?

A – stands for awfulizing. Stop predicting a future filled with gloom and doom, and dwelling on scary thoughts. If you dream of obtaining a career you love, which of the following will move you closer to your vision:

A. “I did terribly on my interview, I’ll never find a job I like.”

B. “I will answer that question on past employment differently next time and I will ace it! I know I will one day have the job I love.”

Can you see how Answer B places you in the mindset of a successful job search?

D – stands for deceiving. This is when you deceive yourself into thinking you are a victim, and that other people are to blame for your circumstances. If we want a happy relationship which will of the below responses will aid in achieving this goal:

A. “If my spouse would only do more around the house, then I would be happy.”

B. “I can and will choose happiness today, no matter what my spouse does.”

Answer B is the right choice, wouldn’t you agree?

S – stands for shoulding – This is when you give yourself a lot of shoulds, musts, and ought tos, then beat yourself up for not living up to unrealistic standards. Say your dream is to be in top physical condition, which will further that:

A. “I should have eaten a salad for lunch instead of that big ol’ hamburger. I’m such a pig!”

B. “I could have eaten a salad, but I chose not to. Tomorrow I will make healthier choices.”

The second choice is so much more inspiring, don’t you think?


Commit to Action – Are you willing to do what it takes?

The final step of the 5 C Process is to commit to action. How many times have we all made plans and never carried them out, or started off excited and lost motivation? No one ever does anything great alone. We all need encouragement and support from others including an accountability partner who is willing to help hold the vision of the person you want to be. In the previous example of my friend, her biggest negative self-talk was how to be a good mom and a good business woman. Her thoughts were, “If I don’t pick up my child every day from school, I am a bad mother.” Instead, we replaced it with, “Picking up my child from school daily is not what makes me a good mother. I am, indeed, a fabulous mother.”

Here are the four action steps that have been proven to help you eliminate your negative self talk:

• Become aware of your negative messages –listen to voice in head

• Stop! You have to stop immediately if you find yourself dwelling on any negative thoughts

• Replace negative thoughts with a kinder alternatives

• Practice. It takes a commitment of time in order to turn a pattern of negative thinking into a more positive train of thought.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Law of Attraction is up to You

It might surprise you to discover that you're a complete being, capable of possessing anything and everything that you desire in an instant!
However it is the truth, and the Law of Attraction is the link to your divinity. We will not enter into how you have become apart from your birthright, but instead we will center on how to regain it.
Most importantly, we're all in a world of disorder. Whether your individual struggle is financial, emotional, security, addiction, or whatever else, each one of us is struggling with something. If you are not, then you're way ahead of the pack!
The trick to the Law of Attraction is that whatever you lend energy to through your thoughts and emotions becomes your reality in short time. Whatever struggle you are focusing on, that very focus is what permits your problem to persist.
The Law of Attraction functions absolutely at all times, in all ways. You have created the situation you are in. Own it! Until you take full responsibility for your life and your circumstances, you have no power to alter anything.
Now, begin spending more time focusing on things in your life that you value. Hold more focus on the things you already have that you enjoy, and give less focus and energy to the things in your life that are disagreeable. Just a tiny change in the balance, maintained each day, will rapidly begin to turn the tides in your favor.
The more cheerful, content and stress-free you feel, the more will be awarded to you. As you ease up your tight grip on the things in your life that are untrue and shift your focus more to the things in your life that are right, you will find that the "wrong" things begin to fade away and you will experience more of the things that you enjoy.
This subtle change in mindset is perhaps the most difficult thing for us to do, as it's smashing a mental habit we have kept for years and decades! But take note of when your life becomes even the least bit better. That's your true breakthrough moment.
Imagine a boulder rolling along a road. It has momentum. If you start pushing on the boulder from the other side, it doesn't instantly do what you want. All the same, if you can slow it down there will come a moment when it slowly creeps to a halt. Then it will begin to roll slowly in the other direction.That is the moment when your life begins to change. In actuality you have just established the momentum and direction that you want, even though things still don't seem to be moving quickly. Just hang in there until the boulder starts building speed!
That breakthrough moment will direct to better and better times until one day you will realize that your life has adopted an entirely different characteristic. One of prosperity, peace, happiness, love and joy. From out of such a state will come only better and better things. You are no longer able to lose!When Jesus said "I tell you, to everyone who has, more will be given, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away," this wasn't a cruel statement.
To one who is proceeding in a positive direction, things will only accelerate more and more in the positive direction. To one proceeding in a negative direction, which a few of us are, things will only get worse. Set out to alter your habits of focusing on the negative and focus more on the positive; have gratitude and truly feel thankful for the things you do have, and more - much more - will be given to you!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Friday The 13th Could Be A Lucky Day?

Friday the 13th sounds unlucky ? Traditional superstition ? And a lot of people dislike it and believe it to be unfortunate.A Friday occurring on the 13th day of any month is considered to be a day of bad luck in English and Portuguese-speaking cultures around the world. And similar superstitions exist in some other traditions.

The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia or paraskevidekatriaphobia (horribly long words).

The origins of Friday superstitions are many which include Eve tempted Adam with the apple on a Friday. And 13 people at the last supper of Jesus, who was traditionally crucified on Good Friday. On this date, the Pope of the church in Rome in conjunction with the King of France, carried out a secret death warrant Against "the Knights Templar".

And Several serial killers have 13 letters in their names like Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson and Jeffrey Dahmer.Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they are simply unable to get out of bed when Friday the 13th rolls around.

The Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute estimates that more than 17 million people are affected by a fear of this day.But for some individuals, it doesn’t sound unlucky at all. Of course, gambling is not encouraged in this article.1) A couple from UK win $17 million, andSource taken from news article2) While a 49-year-old woman hits $10 million jackpot at MGM Grand.Source taken from : news article A new survey shows people are becoming less superstitious about 'unlucky' Friday the 13th, the poll of 1,000 adults shows other superstitions are also less of a concern nowadays.

In fact, three out of four questioned for a Surrey theme park said they had no intention of staying off work just because of the date.Or maybe we should think positively, being positive could make you lucky.

Being positive about anything and everything could also increase how you view and perceive things, and produce favorable results.In fact, according to a report : Trying not to think a negative thought will result in thinking it more, Thinking is like breathing: It goes on night and day and you can’t stop it.

But you can change it.Or you should ask yourself something like this: “How can I make myself stronger and to deal with this?” Or “Can I get myself busy right now, very busy I forget all about my fears?When you find yourself thinking negatively about something “bad” that happened, ask yourself “What’s good about this?” Or “How can I turn this to my advantage?” Ask a good question and automatically you will think positively.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Make Laughter A Stable In Your Life

We use humor in our lives for a myriad of purposes. This motivation to laugh has its roots in ancient history (I have read). Since that was a few years before my time (but unfortunately not too many years before my time), I will have to take archaeologists word for this phenomena. I remember loving to laugh as a child. My mom was the "sense of humor proprietor" of our home, and making her laugh, was especially fun, as she was a tough audience. Especially when I was being grounded for something I'd done wrong, which was most of the time.
Humor principles are the same as they once were, in a nutshell, one person's tragedy is another person's comedy, aka slipping on a banana peel, still holds true to a certain degree. But audiences have gotten tougher, savvier, and more demanding, and rightfully they should. We live in a different world than our ancestors. We suddenly woke up in a world that was not quite as predictable as we were taught it would be in grade school. A day doesn't go by that people don't warn us, "We live in dangerous times, ya know."
Our generation is anxious. It has gone through everything from Viet Nam to modern day terrorism. What I mean by "our", I mean the fringe side of the baby boomer generation. We are survivors to a certain degree. We have seen more wars than any generation before us. Our choices are to be ambivalent, to laugh, or to cry. Laughing does not mean we are endorsing negativity. Quite the opposite. Humor is a way humans can cope under circumstances that seem to have spun out of control, which, does indeed happen.
It is easier to cry. And it is ok and healthy to cry. But to leave humor and laughter out of one's life can make it bleak and miserable. People go to therapy. Just because one has a sense of humor about life, does not make them immune from psychological services. But you can be rest assured it can be a deterrent for many. After all laughter, like running or walking is therapeutic. We release endorphins when we laugh, walk or run. Imagine doing all three at the same time.
I read a biography on Walt Disney, and how he launched his Magic Kingdom. I loved cartoon humor, still do. Not only do I get to (occasionally) give myself a chuckle, but sometimes others as well. Doing what you love, whether its making people laugh or not, will make you happier inside, and those around you seem happier. And I am better when I am happier (and vice versa).

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

How to keep your love alive?

I believe that finding, sustaining, growing, and enjoying satisfying relationships is one of greatest joys and challenges we have as human beings. We have generally been blessed with a tremendous desire to love and be loved; to listen and be listened to; to take care of and accept care from others. And yet meaningful, sustainable relationships often elude us – especially as it applies to the opposite sex.

Here are some things I’ve learned in my walk through life -

1. Know who you are and what you want. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t know what it is. As women look for love, we often take what comes our way rather than seeking what and who we want. Knowing the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with comes from knowing who you are – your values, interests, what you can/will tolerate, what you won’t.

2. Learn how to disagree, speak your mind, and/or confront.Avoiding conflict is death for a marriage. It may seem like you’re on the 1right path by never, ever arguing or disagreeing but avoiding conflict requires repression of anger, which leads to depression of feelings. Passion is extinguished in this environment. Learn to fight fair and keep the slate clear. (see article on What Are You Afraid Of?)

3. Speaking of passion – keep the fire lit! I think women often underestimate the critical role sexuality and having a really good sex life plays in a successful marriage. Men, you know what I’m talking about! Create romantic opportunities, ask for what you want, talk, talk, talk – do what you as a couple need to do to keep this aspect of your relationship alive and well.

4. Don’t allow children and child-raising to take precedence over your marital relationship. A great marriage is the best gift you can give your children. Get away from the kids on a regular basis. Find a good sitter! Arrange for an overnight with just the two of you at least once a year. Talk about matters other than the kids, the bills, the family. Someday it will just be the two of you again. Be sure you still know each other.

5. Take responsibility for your actions and affirm each other. Say, “I’m sorry” when you make a mistake or hurt your partner. Say, “Thank you” when they do something for you. Appreciate what your husband does! Don’t take “expected” action for granted. Recognition and affirmation are two of the best gifts you can give each other. Spend them freely.

6. Don’t take on the persona of, “I shouldn’t have to ask – he should know.” This is one of the greatest mistakes women make in a relationship. I hear women say things like, “But if I have to ask for it, the real meaning/pleasure/gesture is lost.” Get over it! Men can’t read our minds. They’re not always tuned in or on the same wave length. Maybe they just don’t know. Be a big girl and ask for what you want! (I’m pretty tough on this issue)

7. Get help if you need it. Don’t put your head under a bushel. If your relationship is in trouble (no matter whose “fault” either one of you thinks it is), seek out ways to make it better.

Find a relationship coach, a therapist, a marriage counselor, a book – I highly recommend John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus In the Bedroom (it’s on tape so you can listen to it together), Don’t give up – keep searching and talking and striving until things get better. The answer rarely lies in changing partners.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Discovering Everyday Gratitude at Work: How to Appreciate & Actually Enjoy What You Do at Work

Have you ever had something taken away from you only to realize how much you appreciated it after it was gone?

Most of us have taken someone or something for granted. We only truly realized how much that person or situation meant to us after the fact.

We often waste way too much of our time and energy focusing on what we don't like, what we're worried about, or what we think needs to be fixed, changed, or enhanced. We live in a culture obsessed with "bad stuff." Just turn on the news, listen to the conversations and negative attitudes of the people around you at work, or pay attention to the thoughts in your own head.

The Power of Appreciation on Your Life

What if we stopped this negative obsession and started paying attention to what and whom we appreciate, right now? Imagine how this simple but profound shift in focus could transform our lives, our careers, our work groups, and more. Our life experiences are functions of what we pay attention to. Each and every moment we have a choice to where we place our attention.

I am not advocating that we deny, avoid, or run from the challenges, issues, or even the pain in our careers or businesses. It is important that we are able to confront, face, and deal with these difficulties. However, we don't have to obsess about the bad stuff and let it run our lives. We each can consciously choose to focus on the good stuff in our lives, with others, and most importantly towards ourselves.

There are great things happening in your company all the time. At work you interact with amazing people each and every day. And, this is only "true" if you choose to recognize it, acknowledge it, and live it through your thoughts, words, and actions.

Here Are My Top 5 Principles to Discovering Everyday Gratitude at Work & Living a Life Filled With Appreciation and Enjoyment:

1) Be Grateful - Focus on the many blessings in your life and all that you have to be thankful for.

2) Choose Positive Thoughts and Feelings - Make a conscious decision to transform your negative thoughts and feelings into ones that empower you. Your negative thoughts will hold you back from growing your business or advancing your career

3) Use Positive Words - Pay attention to the words you use with others, about things, and in speaking about yourself. Speak with the most positive words possible. Our words have the power to create, not just describe

4) Acknowledge Others - Focus on what you appreciate about the people around you at work and let them know. Be genuine and let others know the positive impact they have on you and your life.

5) Appreciate Yourself - Celebrate who you are, what you do, and the many gifts and talents you bring to the company. Self-appreciation is not arrogance. It's an awareness of your own power and it's the key to self-confidence, success, and fulfillment.

There's a saying, "argue for your limitations and they're yours." Instead of that, what if we celebrated the good stuff around us, in others, and in ourselves? When we focus on this good stuff, our world transforms and we are able to see and experience the GREAT
FULLNESS of our lives.

We don't have to wait until everything is handled. We don't have to wait until we get it all perfect. And, we don't have to wait for people to do things exactly as we want them to. We can start appreciating life, others, and ourselves exactly as we are, right now. Don't wait 'til it's too late! The power of appreciation will help you grow your business or advance your career.