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Friday, October 31, 2008

Examples On Body Language And Their Meanings

Body language is a vital part of the whole communication process. It can determine either a positive or negative reaction from the one you are talking to. Examples on body language may come from any part of the body: eyes and eyebrows, lips, arms, and any other part that the receiver of the message sees.
It is important to be aware of the different body actions that you do while conversing (or even when not speaking) to avoid unnecessary and even unpleasant reactions. Here are some examples on body language and the ways your body parts can manifest themselves.
Eyes And Eyebrows
The eyes are said to be the windows to our soul. Though it may sound too cryptic and deep, it holds a bit of truth that the person you are talking to may see some of the thoughts that you are holding back, or perhaps even misinterpret your eye's actions from what you would like him or her to understand.
Even the position and movement of your eyebrows are some of the most noticed elements when you communicate with a person face-to-face.A classic example on body language that conveys an apprehensive or burdened mood is when you have your eyebrows converging in the middle, as with frowning.
Even if you talk softly and slowly, the person whom you are interacting with may think that you are almost at your temper's threshold.
Another body part that is usually interpreted for the probable mood of a person is the mouth.
Though we have different shapes and positions for our lips, particularly as to how they form, there are some universal notions regarding how we would most probably feel while in a conversation. Here are some examples on body language of the lips.
A retracted lower lip that is almost bit by the upper teeth is usually a sign that the person is holding back and waiting for affirmation or action from the other person.
On the other hand, a retracted upper lip that's bit by the lower teeth usually signifies a person who's holding back and keeping mixed reactions, as with a reaction to the message being conveyed by the other.
Such small movements of the lips have significant implications to the person seeing them and may serve as a basis to either continue or halt the communication process.
The arms and legs are considered responsible for a larger concept of body language, as these are more profound and have a heavier impact. Crossing the arms over the chest usually signifies doubt, mistrust, impatience, or closed-mindedness.
Coupled with the body resting on one leg and having the other stepped away and angled, the whole idea of this unwelcoming look is heightened.Examples on body language may be corrected with appropriate gestures by practicing and internalizing how you would probably feel if you were the one seeing those actions you are doing.
Actions often speak louder than words, so it's best to always be conscious of your gestures and movements.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Great People Skills Are The Secret To Happiness

Having and developing great people skills will bring you happiness in work and in your social and private life. Great people skills tend to attract people. People with great people skills are generally the first to get promoted at work; they are the ones who have good relations with the opposite sex; they are the ones who people gather around at social events and because of these factors, they are the ones who are happier with their overall life.

The number one key to having great people skills is to care about yourself, and equally important is to care for others. Caring about yourself is not about thinking of yourself first. But rather, it's more about respecting yourself and maintaining a way of life that reflects that you care about yourself. When we care about ourselves we reflect that to others in our verbal and non-verbal behaviors. This is reflected in how we care for others. Thus, caring is a great people skill brings us happiness in itself.

Caring people treat others with kindness, rather than cruelty. Kindness can mean different things to different people. However, kindness is rooted in respect for another. This respect is demonstrated in behaviors like intently listening to the other without judgment or interruption, as an example. When we truly listen to another person we become engaged and participate in a meaningful conversation and interaction with them, aiming to developing a relationship that helps them.

One great people skill that will lead to happiness is trustworthiness. When people trust us they want to be around us because they know that they can talk to us about anything regarding their lives, knowing that what they say to us stays with us. A trustworthy person doesn't run around telling the secrets of another, but rather keeps that information to themselves. Also, the trustworthy person doesn't use that information against another.

Another example of a trustworthy person, but more related to honesty, is the one who finds something of value that belongs to someone else. But rather than keeping it for themselves, they do everything in their power to return the valuable to its rightful owner. When a person behaves in a trustworthy and honest manner they will most certainly experience happiness.

Reliability is another people skill that leads to happiness. Family, friends, acquaintances, and employers want to be able to rely on us, for whatever might need to be done or taken care of.

Related to reliability is commitment. When happy people make a commitment they follow through with that commitment and, if for whatever reason they can't fulfill that commitment, they take the responsibility of letting the other know. Reliability, commitment and responsibility are all interrelated and each is a great people skill that enhances one's happiness.

The ability to connect with others is a great people skill to have. People who are able to connect with another are empathetic and that empathy is reflected in their conversational relations, both verbally and non-verbally. The body language of the person who can connect with another demonstrates an interest in the other and has patience, which is obviously seen in one's body language. Their body language is presented in such a way that it draws the other in, rather than rejecting them.

Great people skills obviously rely on knowing the appropriate thing to say. Their language is not abusive or threatening, but rather it is insightful and caring. It takes account of what other people are feeling and thinking and reacts to them accordingly in verbal and non-verbal communication. Having great people skills is a real gift because it allows you to put other people at their ease; communication will be made so much easier that you are bound to be happier.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Me - by Shirley-Ann Jennings

Something that was written in the moment by an 18 year old, my beautiful "godchild"...

Wouldn’t life be perfect if we could all be 100% happy all the time?!?!?!?! If we had no enemies and if we all had the job we always dreamed of having????? If we could trust that special someone enough that you could let them do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted????

We all dream of having a perfect life, yet nothing turns out how we plan some of us marry young and some don’t marry at all! Some of us prefer life to be about being happy and having a loving trusting family that we can rely on even in times of difficulties, but others prefer a life where their money and job come way before their families. These people usually end up living a lonely and sad life, they may have lots of friends but in the end friends, money and material things in life mean nothing if you have don’t have that special someone to share all your happy moments with. “savor the moment” how do you do that all by yourself?????

Many times we get friends that just use and abuse us and as much as anyone would like to argue once we’ve been used and abused we expect everyone else to do it to us as well, because everyone believes that if one person can do it to you so can anyone else!! Yes nobody’s perfect but that doesn’t mean everybody is the same!!!

All people seek that special someone and some don’t ever find that ONE, and nine out of ten times the reason they never bothered is that they either got hurt or their trust was broken by someone else. So why take it out on all the other people?!?!?! Yes you got hurt but so has everyone else, at least once in their life, so shouldn’t you do what they are doing??? Sorry to burst any bubbles but a broken heart hasn’t killed anyone yet.

I say live life to the fullest don’t let anyone get you down, you are your own person and the decisions you make in life will effect nobody except yourself!!!! Keep your friends you need them for the rough days trust your partner they wouldn’t be with you if they didn’t have feelings for you! Drink and do it good, dance where there’s music it will start a party…………don’t be part of the crowd that watches the one in the middle………….I say BE THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE. You will gain nothing by doing nothing!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Body Language In Communication – How to Become A Great Communicator Using Body Language

If you are delivering a speech to a crowd, it is very important that you make use of body language in communication to drive your point home. In truth, this extra gesture can generate a lot of emotions, as well as ideas on how you want your audience to understand your meaning. Body language in communication depends mostly on the topic you wish to convey to each individual.

In fact, it can vary depending on the emotions involved when you relay it to them. For example, a priest is mostly seen waving his hands in the air as he relays the message of God, or a communicator pointing and waving to the crowd every time they say something that concerns the audience.

Eye Contact

Maintaining eye contact with your audience is one of the most important body language in communication. By doing this, you can determine the emotions and state of mind of a person while you are delivering your speech. You can practically tell if they are bored or tired, so you can change topic to wake them up. Eye contact can relay your truthfulness in regards to your topic. If you maintain eye contact while explaining something to your parents or friends, then it simply means that you are telling them a lot of things in a non-verbal way.

Hand Gestures

Doing hand gestures is another useful body language in communication. It can accentuate your message to an individual into something that they can picture in their minds. Sometimes, people get bored listening when the speaker is just rambling on and on. Gestures can practically remove the boredom from your audience, replacing it with stark interest with every word you make. Also, the emotions you want your crowd to feel as you deliver your speech is one of the essential uses of hand gestures.


How would you react if you see a speaker fidget and tremble while they are delivering their speech to the public? It would be safe to say that you will be practically unconvinced about their message. You might be thinking that they are not sure of what they are conveying to the crowd or they’re hiding something due to their nervousness.

An effective conversationalist or speaker utilizes body language in communication. In fact, you can practically tell if the person is a professional, expert, or plain fraud in how they communicate with an individual or an audience -- in gestures, posture, poise, or even through the emotions they relay as they give their message to the crowd.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Mastering Your Mind Power: What Is Your Why?

In the articles I have written on this subject, I have shared some information with you primarily about how your mind works, how tremendously powerful it is, and the number barrier to mastering your mind power, namely, your self image. I close each article with a statement of my belief in you because of the great power you possess in your mind.

Before discussing your WHY, let us first take a look at a few WHAT questions. WHAT kind of legacy do you wish to leave your children and other loved ones; a legacy of wealth or a pile of debt? WHAT kind of financial and other support to you want to provide to your significant others to help them live the lives they desire and to help them reach their full potential? In WHAT way or ways do you want to leave the world a better place than it was before you came?

Here now is the WHY question for you. There are probably several answers to this question. If you do not nail down at least one well thought-out answer, however, there is a strong possibility that you will not have the staying power necessary to stick with your dreams and goals, whatever they may be. Challenges are certain to appear.

The old self image is sure to unleash its arsenal of habits upon you in an effort to stay in control. The question is what is your WHY? WHY do you want to have financial abundance; to make more money or save more money? WHY do you want to live your dream; have the freedom to do what you want to do when you want to do it? WHY do you want to develop more of your talents or skills; to feel competent in more areas of your life?

Why do you want to be honored and respected; to gain praise, popularity and admiration? WHY do you want to gain control over your life by mastering your mind power; to be the captain of ship of your own soul, to guide your own life? Your quest for your WHY might produce more than one answer.

Multiple answers, in this case do not produce a hindrance. In fact, where your WHY is concerned, there is strength in numbers (up to a point). If you establish more than one WHY, I strongly recommend you find a method to prioritize them. Your strongest WHY is the one that provides the strongest motivational drive to support your efforts.

Determining your WHY is not something you should do quickly or haphazardly. You should spend a few days, weeks or even months if necessary to be sure to get it right. You want to find the emotional energy that will sustain you through the challenging experiences.

This I know for sure. You can claim or re-claim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Mastering Your Mind Power: Habits And Your Self Image

Your self image, you may recall, is the mental blueprint or mental picture you carry around. It is the self image that must be changed to gain or re-gain control of the power of your subconscious mind.
The self image consists of all thoughts, fears, phobias, actions, feelings, and behavior that you have accumulated and have been securely stored in your subconscious mind during your lifetime.
From these various elements, your beliefs about yourself have unconsciously been formed. Your past experiences, including your successes, failures, humiliations, so-called constructive criticisms, and the way people have responded to us have all made contributions.
Much of what is stored in your subconscious mind was placed there in your early childhood, at a time when the frontal, reasoning part of your brain was not sufficiently developed to allow you to make decisions based on reason.
By the time your brain was fully developed, you had formed many, many beliefs. It was from this sizable pool of beliefs that your self image (a picture or blueprint) was constructed. Over time belief after belief was added to this picture. Remember, any idea, thought or image that is passed on to the subconscious mind becomes a belief, and any belief so formed, becomes your truth and is no longer open to question.
Whether the belief is true or not, you simply act or re-act to your beliefs as if they were true! Some of your beliefs grew out your personal experiences and include answers to questions like: Am I intelligent? Am I likable? Am I stupid? Am I a failure? Am I weak? Most beliefs, however, are internalizations of the judgments of other people, especially family, friends, and authority figures in institutions like schools and churches.When you reached adulthood, there were hundreds or even thousands of infantile beliefs (truths) that had been added to your self image.
During those early years, you were not encouraged nor allowed, in some cases, to use conscious reasoning as you negotiated your way through life. As a result, the self image took on more and more control of your thinking about and reactions to life. Your self image had a reservoir of subconscious beliefs (truths) to draw upon in response to your life situations without your conscious involvement.
It could simply repeat past responses to similar situations. These infantile beliefs are the truths that the self image used to control nearly every aspect of your life in adulthood. Its repetitive control gradually became deeply ingrained habit. Is it any wonder that life is such a struggle for you and most people? As I have stated before, I believe the lack of a basic understanding of how the self image is formed and the control it exercises over our lives is the single greatest barrier to mastering your mind power and living more of the lives we desire.
The self image, however, can be changed. New habits can be formed. You can change. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Mastering Your Mind Power: Are You Ready?

Often when I ask people what do they really want to be different in their lives, I am surprised to hear them respond that they do not know what they want to be different. If I press them a bit, most come up with general answers like they would like to have more money, a better job, or a long-delayed vacation. When I then ask them why they think they do not have those things, they generally have a list of reasons.

The number one reason is usually a lack of money.Once the conversation turns away from what it is that they want to general topics, it is usually not very long before statements of negativity related to their circumstances creep into their comments. They seem to sense that I am picking up on the negative comments, and they will eventually say something that indicates that is just how the world is for them.

For them, their life circumstances are all messed up. Yet, they do not know what it is that would clear up the mess for them.Even though it causes me to pause briefly when people tell me they do not know what they want, I truly do understand. Most people get discouraged from seeking ways to fulfill their dreams and desires very early in life.

Their dream-seeking is quickly turned into job-seeking by the apparent realities they observe in their environment. Once people get trapped in a paycheck to paycheck job situation, the demands of the job and of life in general make it less and less likely that they will allow themselves to be exposed to different life options. Make no mistake about it, changing the course of your life is not to be taken lightly. My question to you is are you truly ready to do it? The good news is countless other people have made such a change.

They took the same basic steps and used the same basic equipment that is at your disposal right now. They had to master their mind power. They had to learn how to change most of their habitual thinking patterns and align them with their new goals. In essence, they had to re-build their self images to conform to the new realities they decided to produce in their lives.If you are ready to begin mastering your mind power but are in need of a starting point, here is an exercise that I found to be most helpful to me.

Set aside some quiet time for your self, take out a few blank sheets of paper, draw a line down the middle of a sheet or sheets and begin listing on the left side of the page any beliefs, situations, habits and conditions that you can think of that you do not want in your life any more.Be honest with yourself. This list is for your eyes only.

You have had more than enough input or advice from others during your life. This exercise is about you working on your own individual life no matter how uncomfortable it might feel initially.

This I know for sure. You can claim or re-claim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Mastering Your Mind Power: Determining What You Really Want

Let us take a moment to review some of what we have discussed so far.
• I have stated my position that no matter what your life circumstances are, you have all the mind power you need in your possession right now to immeasurably improve those conditions.
• Generally, your life circumstances are not really your fault, although this is not meant to give you license to blame others either.
• It is up to you to either continue doing what you are now doing or to take positive actions to improve your life outcomes including more money, if you choose.
• To bring about meaningful changes in your life requires a COMMITMENT TO CHANGE and a PROCESS.
• There are many processes available from the many books, audio CDs, and DVDs on the market created by personal development authors, but the commitment can only come from you.
If you have not chosen a process for change from one of those sources, feel free to adopt the one I recommend in these articles that has served me well. I call it The 180 Degree Life, wherein you literally begin to think and act in the exact opposite of your present habitual patterns.
If you have chosen to adopt this 180 degree life, you should have prepared a list of things, conditions, and people you do not want in your life any longer. I suggest that you now take that list and on the right side of the sheet, write a statement that represents to you the exact opposite of each of those items.
For example, you may have written on the left side of your sheet that your relationship with your significant other stinks. On the right side you might write that you desire a loving, caring, fulfilling relationship with a significant other. In another example, you may have written on the left side that you do not have enough money. On the right side, you could write that you desire to be financially rich. For each item you list on the right side of your sheet, write a brief paragraph defining what that particular desire means to you.
Once you have completed your list on both the left and right side of the sheet or sheets of paper, take another clean sheet and list all of the DO NOT WANT things on it. This time the items do not have to be on a particular side of the sheet. Do the same for the DO WANT items along with the defining statements you have written.
After you have separated your DO NOT WANT list form your DO WANT list, it is time to perform a little ceremony. Take the DO NOT WANT list and shred it into very small pieces and flush them in small groups down the toilet, making sure that each group of shreds does not plug up the plumbing. There is a psychological reason for doing this. You are figuratively flushing the things you DO NOT WANT out of your mind and out of your life. What remains is what you truly do want.
This I know for sure. You can claim or re-claim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Mastering Your Mind Power; Does Habit Play a Part?

Habit is both the problem and the solution to your mastering your mind power and more fully exercising the power of your mind. If you were to take inventory of the thoughts you consistently think from day to day, you would be amazed at how little conscious, focused thinking takes place because of habit.
Most of your working hours are probably spent attending to your job. There is a 95% chance that your job is of the paycheck to paycheck variety, and if you have been on that job for a while, it has probably become fairly routine and does not require much problem-solving, focused thinking. Habits are actions or behaviors that have been repeated so regularly that they have become routines that are engaged in without consciously thinking about them. They are learned actions or behaviors, rather than instinctive. They occur automatically, for the most part, without the explicit conscious intention of a person. I am not aware of any studies that have determined the number of habits the average adult has formed by, let us say, age 25.
I imagine that number is in the hundreds, maybe even in the thousands. In a sense, one could say that we human beings are just a big bundle of habits moving through life. Some habits are good. Others we most assuredly can do without. They range from actions as simple as how we form letters to construct words when we write, the way we walk, the way we talk, or the way we put on garments. More complicated habits include the way we respond to negative comments made about us by others or the way we respond to thoughts about wealth and wealthy people.
Some habits are certainly very useful, for they free us from having to think through every one of the many details that are in nearly every action in which we engage throughout our day.Most of us have built a multitude of habitual beliefs (or someone else has built them for us) about every facet of life. These beliefs are so conditioned within us that they have become our truths through which we see our world.
It is very important to understand the contribution habits make to the construction of the self image. A simple definition of a person's self image is the conception of the sort of person one thinks he or she is. It is a mental blueprint that has been built up from subconsciously embedded beliefs about himself or herself. A person's self image, consisting of many habits, is very resistant to change. It will yield to you, however, if your desire for a more prosperous or fulfilling life is strong enough.
There is no better time than right now to begin developing new habits, habits that move you toward financial freedom to do what you want to do when you want to do it. This I know for sure. You can claim or re-claim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Have You Checked Your Attitude Lately?

Have you been secretly yearning to travel far beyond the hard edge of your potential curve? Are you, as I am, longing to surpass your present accomplishments and exceed your current level of achievement? If you're nodding with enthusiasm, then let's take a solid look at your attitude.

Let me ask you plainly: How do you tackle this phenomenon called "life"? In what mode do you greet daily obstacles, and how do you meet unforeseen challenges? In our busy lives, a positive mental attitude must be tenaciously chosen in every circumstance. Such an outlook is resultant of a life dedicated to continual self-improvement and service to others. Committing to do our best today liberates us from concern about difficult situations tomorrow.

The truth is, we all have days when we are confident that excellent things will happen, and equally confident that, if trouble comes, we will possess the wherewithal to overcome it. Maintaining a consistently confident attitude, however, takes enormous effort and diligence. The effort is well worth it because confidence acts as a protective shield against dream-shattering doubts.

There's always great excitement when a new work is about to begin, such as the debut of an innovative clothing line, the birth a newborn child, or the initiation of a novel idea. Why not begin a new work in your own life by accepting personal responsibility, which is the foundation necessary to cultivate a positive attitude?

How many people do you know who mistakenly blame their poor attitude on others? Probably just as many as I do! These individuals frequently make the false claim that someone else made them feel or act in a certain way - but nothing could be further from the truth. It doesn't help to focus on what others insensitively say or do to us. Instead, let's concentrate on what we do and say in response. It is not what has been done to you that seals your fate, but how you respond to injustice that decides your destiny.

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Through this dynamic program, you will experience the results you've always wanted. With personal coaching, we look to solve the three most common problems you face as a leader:

1. Imbalance

2. Broken focus

3. Unfulfilled relationships

As a result of going through our personal transformation system, you will walk in freedom and peace in every area of your life, you will become crystal clear about what you want and how to get there, and you'll experience fulfilling and lasting relationships.

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Saturday, October 11, 2008

How to Have an Extraordinary Life

Do you feel that something is just missing from your life? Are you looking to achieve something really exciting, spectacular- extraordinary? Maybe it's being in a job you really love, enjoying a balanced life where you have time for work and play, being in loving relationship or simply just living the best live ever.

You visualize your Goal and start to work on it. However in a few weeks you've lost interest, your energy and desire is just not there anymore and you've fallen off track. You get frustrated, disappointed, and throw in the towel. Wonder why? Want to start back on the success track?

Then you are ready to read on!

You set off on your path to reaching your goal and suddenly your realize-wow this is going to take lots of time, hard work and I'm really not sure how to get there. You realize you don't have a plan, actions or timetable for reaching your goal. You become frustrated a bit stuck and you stop. Well you are right back where you started. So let's pick up those pieces and get going again. This time on the fast track with goals that will bring out the gold in you and your life!

Step 1- Examine your Goal. Go back and evaluate your Goal. Your goal should make sense for YOU. It should be motivating and measurable, achievable, rewarding and time based.

Step 2- Be committed. In order to achieve any goal you must be committed to taking consistent actions to reach your goal. Bottom line, you REALLY have to want it! Is the desire deep down in your heart and soul? Are you ready and willing to do what it takes?

Every goal you desire to achieve can be broken down into Six simple steps. It's a proven formula for success that works over and over and over. But remember- Goals are tools for digging for the gold in you. The success is in the journey. The goals are merely tools you use to get there.

If you are not succeeding in reaching your goal, try this strategy I use with my clients. It works all the time!

1) Clearly Define Your Goal- Decide exactly what you want. Write it down on paper. Be clear, concise and as detail as possible. Give it a measure, date to complete and end result so you will know when you achieve the goal. Go for the Gold!

2) Define the benefits to YOU- List WHY you want it (the bigger the reason the more internal motivation you are giving yourself - write them on paper) I suggest you come up with at least 10.

3) Develop a plan to get there- Define the actions you will need to take to achieve it (on paper) rank them and list them in order of importance

4) Develop a plan by schedule the actions (in your calendar)

5) Do It! (Follow through and carry out your plan)

6) Find images or photos that represent your goal as already being accomplished. Put them in places you'll see often (bathroom mirror, briefcase, in your car, on your screen saver, on the refrigerator)

Getting Started:

Define 3 goals you would like to work on in the next 90 days. Write them out in one simple sentence with a measure, and end result such as:

On August 1, 2008 I have an extra R5000 in the bank

On August 1, 2008, I am stepping on my scale weighing 30 lbs less.

On August 1, 2008 I am 50% debt free.

On August 1, 2008, I am fitting into my size 8 skinny jeans.

If you are struggling with a goal, or have gotten off track, begin fresh by using this strategy OR drop me a note and we can set up a free goal setting session. If you follow these steps you will be on your way to creating an extraordinary life!

People with goals have vision, act with purpose and achieve success.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Happiness is a Matter of Common Sense

I know for sure that happiness is a matter of common sense.
You know, Albert Einstein once said that:
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

Indeed, we all have prejudices and to say that we don't is equivalent to saying that we have no common sense.

In fact, common sense is just how we have come to make sense of our lives so that we are now living it as we are. One could say that common sense is our justification to be as we are, to do as we do, and to have as we have. Therefore, it is a combination of the many different beliefs that we have acquired throughout our lifetimes.

So, it is no mystery why our lives are as they are. It is no mystery if we are unhappy. This is because our lives are merely a manifestation of what we say "makes sense" and "doesn't make sense" to us. And, this is what common sense is all about.

So, to reach beyond ourselves so as to become bigger and better versions of ourselves, it is imperative that we learn to "make sense" of life in the ways that will allow the results that we wish for to come to fruition.

In other words, if you want more happiness in your life, this is simply a matter of learning to make sense of happiness so that you are no longer rejecting it is your primary state of being. If you are unhappy in any way, then this is only because it makes more sense to you not to be happy than to be happy.

Sophia DarioLevel: BasicSophia M. Dario, is being called “the common sense guru ” because she believes that how you make sense of anything determines how you experience.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Happiness - 5 Golden Rules For Being Happy Now and Always

No matter what you're looking for in this world, or in this lifetime, chances are that the underlying reason you're looking for it is so you can be happier than you are now.

Think about it for a second; you certainly don't want more money and better health so you can be miserable. Likewise, if you want a great relationship, or some other kind of success, it isn't so your life will be completely ruined - it's so you can be happier than you are now. It is only natural to want to live, learn, grow, and be happy. Basically, if we aren't trying to stay alive, we're usually trying to be happy.

But why does it seem to be so difficult to be happy? Why do so many people suffer? Why are so many people sick, in debt, and/or in bad or un-fulfilling relationships and situations in their lives? The answer is simple: They aren't following the "rules." In order to be happy, you have to do certain things - "happy things," you might say. If you are unhappy in your current life, you will not be able to keep your life exactly the way it is and ADD happiness to the mix. Happiness isn't a "thing" that's missing from your life - your life is causing you to be and feel something other than what you call. "Happy." Below are "5-Golden Rules of Happiness;" they aren't always easy to follow, but they are very simple.

5-Golden Rules for Being Happy:

"Don't worry; be happy." "Don't sweat the small stuff," don't sweat the big stuff, don't sweat the stuff you can't control, and don't sweat the stuff you can control. In other words, don't worry about anything.

Judge not. Don't label, judge, or criticize anything or anyone; acceptance and allowance is the key to a happy, stress-free life. This may sound difficult - or even crazy - but, trust me; this is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself.

Think about others more than you think about yourself or your own problems. It is impossible to be unhappy unless you are thinking about yourself. Find someone to help; and stop spending so much time thinking about "You."

Let Go! It is our attachment to things, people, situations, conditions, judgments, and our own fears and limiting beliefs that causes suffering. Nothing is permanent; practice non-attachment and release. Practice forgiveness along with non-judgment; you'll be glad you did.

Think happy thoughts. Happiness is a feeling; and, feelings are caused by thoughts. You can't be happy unless you choose to be; and choosing happiness simply means choosing happy thoughts.

Because so much of the average person's life is spent in a kind of daze, stupor, or otherwise "unconscious" state - mindlessly doing the same things they did yesterday and the day before - these "rules" aren't always easy to follow. But happiness is a gift you must wake-up and claim if you truly want it. It is very simple; but it definitely takes effort. Of course, it is definitely worth the effort it takes to keep your mind focused on positive outcomes and happier thoughts. Your only other option is to remain in a miserable, unfulfilled, unhealthy, unhappy, or depressed, state. So what will your choice be? Before you choose your next thought, just remember: Your happiness depends on it!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Fit Mind = Fit Body

I am here to tell you that happiness is a state of mind that starts from the inside out. One way to see how happy you are is an external reference on your appearance. When you look in the mirror do you like what you see? If not you are not a happy camper all the materialistic stuff in the world won't change that.
The change comes from within. Embrace yourself and everything about YOU! If you are overweight and smoke you are slowly killing yourself. Start making changes now. By committing to a plan to be healthy starts the wheels in motion to feeling better about yourself. Are you getting enough sleep? How do you handle stress? If you put it all together, overweight, smokes, sleep deprivation how do you think your gonna handle stress??
Start now and start loving you. If you need assistance with a healthy eating plan contact a nutritionist. If you do smoke ...Quit!! I can't over emphasis that smoking will suffocate you. Get help if you need it but Quit A.S.A.P.!
Sleep, Sleep, Sleep. When you are well rested your mind has had a chance to recharge and you would be surprised how that will lift your spirits.
Last, feed your mind good things. Don't watch the news late at night. Stay away from books on poverty and war. Put only healthy books and articles in your mind. Read books on being the best you can be. A good book Called "Thinking for a Change" by John Maxwell or "You Can Heal Your Life" By Louise Hay are two excellent books to start you on your journey of excellent health.
Make it a daily habit to put only healthy things in your body and mind and I guarantee you will be a much happier person for it.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Being Our True Selves By Tina Montalto

To thine own self be true" said William Shakespeare.

But do we really take that advice? Do we do things we really don't want to do? Are we with people we really do not want to be with? Do we suppress our creativity for fear of criticism or judgment?

Every time we do any of that, we are not being true to ourselves. We bury a little bit our ourselves. We deny our true spiritual nature. And we feel it deep down inside. We do ourselves and the world a great disservice. We are just hurting ourselves.

Now I am not suggesting that you don't go to work because you don't want to. I am suggesting as Wallace Wattles does in The Science of Getting Rich, you do your best in the present situation knowing bigger and better things are coming because you are bigger and better. Your true self is bigger than any job. Your true self is more creative than you are currently expressing. "To thine own self be true" means you know this truth about yourself and you aim to express it. The still small voice within will tell us what is right for us. That is our spiritual intuition. Do we shut up long enough to hear it? Do we listen enough to heed it?

Do you bow to the pressure of family or friends to "keep them happy"? Doing that helps no one, not them, certainly not you. We are all part of one harmonious whole. Being unhappy to make someone else happy is not possible in a unity of oneness. Part cannot be happy and part cannot be unhappy. It is all or nothing. And the "nothing" outcome is the disservice we do to ourselves and the world.
Staying in financial turmoil or poverty is not noble or admirable. It is a disservice to you and the world when you think of what good you can do with money. Your true self is the beloved child of God. It is the Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom. That is the true prosperous you.
When we suppress our true selves, we often see the experience of illness and disease. The feelings and emotions that we try to bury have to come out somewhere. Louise Hay says in "You Can Heal Your Life" that very often a mental cause of cancer is deep resentment held inside for such a long time that it literally eats away at the body. Resentment builds when you deny yourself for what you think is the sake of others. It is not for the sake of others. It really is a no-win situation, despite what race thought may be telling you.
Guilt, shame, feelings of selfishness are all race thought ideas you need to release when you try to break through and be true to yourself. We must understand that being true to ourselves benefits everyone. Being true to ourselves is to embrace our true spiritual nature. Our true nature is that we are magnificent spiritual beings. We are good. We are powerful. We are loving.
We are prosperous. We are perfectly healthy. We are creative and talented. We are wonderful.
Denying this makes us sickly, poor, unhappy, lonely, and weak.
We are unique expressions of life. We, as our true selves, complete the wholeness of the one Unity. We are each a critical piece of the puzzle, of the tapestry of life. Without our expression of our uniqueness, the tapestry is incomplete.
Emerson said, "We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents." And this: "Trust thyself; every heart vibrates to that iron string."
Happiness and fulfillment is ours when we are true to ourselves.
©2008 Tina Montalto

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

10 Steps to Becoming Happy Now

Feeling happy is something everyone wants. Whether on not you admit it to yourself, being happy is something each of us seeks. The positive feelings the come from helping others and doing something well are wonderful.
These are two examples of actions that we take that provide us good feelings. This reinforces our desire to do more. A cycle of positive repeatable actions not only benefits the intended recipient but also the giver. This is an example of a tangible action with verifiable results. Philanthropists do what they do for a number of reasons.
They often express it this way: They want to give back for the good they have received. Yes they may not do what they do for purely altruistic reasons, but neither can we, nor should we attempt to determine motives by speculation.

Isn't it better to make every attempt to live a happy and satisfied life and help others to do the same? A famous person once said, "Give enough people what they want and you will get what you want too." The problem is that negative circumstances and problems seem to crowd our lives. The result is that often people become overwhelmed, discouraged and depressed. How can you move from feeling negative, despite all that is around you that makes you feel much less positive than you would like to be? Below are "10 Steps to Being Happy Now". Read them through and find more information at the end of this article.
1. Realize that feelings whether good or bad are just feelings. This means that you can change them. You are the one who gives yourself permission to feel a certain way in any given moment. No one else can tell you how to feel.
2. A feeling is a signal that your body gives you to take action. Recognize this and evaluate what your next step should be. Often we don't know what steps to take or take the wrong action. This does not resolve the problem. Often it only makes it worse. Try to be aware of the signals that your mental and physical states are trying to tell you and take corrective action. Sometimes these feelings are the result of negative events just past.
3. Sometimes events trigger negative associations from the past and we are not even aware of this. A long passed event buried in our subconscious mind can resurface. Therefore be as aware of your past as possible and reinforce negative events with positive ones in your mind.
4. Your mind is like a computer. It will play back to us whatever we give it. If we focus on negative things, then that is what will show up in our thoughts and actions most often. Give yourself positive thoughts and associations. When you find yourself thinking a negative thing, force yourself to stop the thought process in your head and replace it with something positive.
5. Reflect on all the good things there are in your life. The fact that you are even able to evaluate your situation and move toward some positive outcome is a good thing.
6. Take time to step outside of your situation and do some good for someone else. Even if it is just listening to someone or offering your time to them. This is a worthwhile contribution and a valuable gift. Time is limited so when you give some away for the good of others, you really are giving of yourself.
7. Remember that the person you are now is the result of all your past thoughts and actions. While this may seems scary, if we used that information to act and think more positively, we can change our outcomes and begin living a better and more fulfilling life.
8. Give yourself permission to be sad or depressed and a negative event, situation or circumstances for a specific set period then move on with a fresh outlook and optimism.
9. Resolve that the most important choice you can make on a daily basis regardless of your circumstance is your choice of attitude.
10. Being happy is not dependent on what you have. Some of the poorest people on the planet are the happiest. In contrast, some of the richest are the unhappiest. If you set your happiness on things, you will always be disappointed. True happiness comes from inside. This is often related to finding something bigger than us to believe it.
When we look for the good around us we will find it. Inspire someone today with your keen sense of self, a positive self-image and a passion for helping others. Happiness does not need to be elusive and complicated. Become aware of the signals that your mental and physical body is giving you. Learn to take proper action of the electro-chemical signals in your body and you will find happiness.