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Thursday, May 21, 2009

Belief in Self and Confidence

There are many things in life that a person must confront, whether it is the first day of school, a new workplace, new family or friends. With each new experience and circumstance we will have to face the ultimate challenges, whether to believe in self and to have confidence.

What is belief in self when it comes to interactions that we have on a daily basis? Is it when we say, 'I know I can do it', or, 'Not a problem'? Does it base itself in confidence and the ability to outwardly express? One thing is for sure, without self confidence, the ability to experience life becomes more and more challenging and cumbersome and no matter how much we might try and avoid the rigors of change, our fears come back to haunt us, driving us towards questioning our own abilities and expression.

One thing that is ultimately true about self confidence is that no other person can obtain it for us.

It is something that is extremely personal to the individual experiencing it. They might cry towards another saying how unfair life is that they have to push themselves beyond limits that they feel extend outside of their own abilities. Crying is not going to achieve the confidence or the ability to believe in self and will only emphasis the insecurities and inner weakness that we have.

It just hides a person away in a hole of suffering, falling deeper and deeper within their own despair. Eventually they find themselves in this hole alone, facing their ultimate fear, other people having left from the pressure of their pain. They try to give them help but it goes in one ear and out the other, only making these friends want to retreat, looking towards the crying patient as if they will never be able to ever drag themselves out of despair.

For a while it feels safe and secure to hide in this whole, even when all have left who have their own issues and are experiencing their own pressures in life. Hiding in a hole feels much better than having to face the world today and to push beyond fears. It gets lonely in that hole and as much as it feels safe for a time, it is slowly drives a person to despair and the inability to find hope and strength in self, let alone to be able to recover from the pain. The person eventually comes to one conclusion and one alone. That they have to face the world, that hiding in the hole is not going to achieve anything for them in the long run. It is through their choice that they are able to fight past their insecurities and come out of their own doldrums. They realize that no one else is going to be able to give them strength, power and confidence, but themselves. The journey to believing in themselves comes from their own desire to live life and to grab all that they can for their own development and experiences.

It should not have to take the words of another person to realize that self confidence is understood individually, and that it is reasoned by self. It is a natural willingness to participate in life that comes from an individuals desire to experience all that they have offered to them. There should be no reason why someone should feel insecure about their abilities. They have just as much ability as the next person and as much as they think that they have disabilities, they really do only have disability in their mind, not being able to see the full picture of their own potential.

This fear attitude that is created, that holds us back from being confident in ourselves, comes from learnt paradigms that we are picking up as we are developing. They are linked to the competitive syndrome where we all decide what category we belong and allow that this is the ultimate truth to our purpose in life. It takes a strong mind to reason that choice is individualized and not coming from some outside source. Everyone has their own ability to make their own assumptions on life and how much they want to participate in it. Confidence then openly issues forth from a person who realizes that life is for living and that it comes from their own choices.

There should not be any reason why people fear to participate in things, whether that is from jumping a tight rope to studying for university. We all have the ability to push ourselves to experience all that is possible. The playing field of life within our divided cultures is a similar playing field that we all participate in. Even with restrictions a person can always find ways to deal with situations, if only they choose to see that life is played by the mind and that they have ability, just as any one else, to find reason and purpose and strength in self. That strength is not going to come from someone else, it is going to be realized in their own participation.

Our mind and viewpoint on life is our own character and who we are as individuals. If a person is not going to believe in themselves, then who is? We must believe in ourselves before others can see our real potential to experience life without fear or constraint. It is all up to the individual and no matter the fight and struggle life can be seen in a totally different way. Life does not have to be a struggle. It is all in the mind what we choose to value or not, we only have to change our viewpoint in order to see life differently.

Belief in self and confidence comes with realizing that we are controllers of our lives and that we are the ones that direct ourselves where we wish to be and how we wish to experience life in all that it has to offer.


BradMorris said...

Great post! I do think it goes beyond an awareness of control, though. I think it can also extent from the seeming opposite--acceptance of a lack of control. Sometimes, the best way for someone to build their self-confidence involves them recognizing the forces within and outside of their control.