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Saturday, May 9, 2009

7 Things You Should Never Apologize For

When I was younger, I used to have a habit of saying, "I'm sorry" after doing or saying something that I thought may have been non-appealing to the recipient. It didn't matter what it was. It could be a joke that I told that didn't garner an appropriate response of laughter from my perspective. It could be after something as simple as a sneeze.

However, after growing up a bit, I realized that I don't have to be sorry for EVERYTHING. I should only apologize when an apology is necessary. In certain instances I've also learned that there are times where you may do or say something that may be a bit uncomfortable for another person. You shouldn't have to apologize for saying those things. You may wish to apologize for the pain that saying these things may have caused but the actual act and reason should not be one of remorse.
In this article, you'll find seven instances where you should be willing to take action and not apologize for it later.
Being honest. People often say, "the truth hurts," or "you can't handle the truth," or "you don't really want to hear the truth." The fact of the matter is, everyone does want the truth; however, it's no longer in your control once the truth is out how the other person will handle hearing that information. What you should be mindful of is the timing of your truth delivery. There's definitely timing to truth. Sometimes, you may need to delay what you share for a more appropriate time. You may not wish to tell your best friend right away that you are thinking about moving to France when they're mourning the loss of a loved one. But when you do choose to tell them at the best moment, there's nothing to be remorseful about. Be honest.
Loving yourself. In a previous article, I brought to the forefront how important it is to love yourself before you can honestly and truthfully love another. When you pour love into yourself, many people mistake that for selfishness or even overconfidence. Take inventory of the type of signal that you're emitting when you are "loving yourself." If you are in a genuine place of love, then that signal should not get misinterpreted, but if it is clouded with a little bit of separation, meaning you're trying to make yourself feel better at the expense of someone else deliberately, then that's not really a love vibration is it? So, if you're getting back from someone that you're being selfish, really check the authenticity of your self-love. However, if you're certain that you are giving yourself the very best, then that's nothing to be sorry for.
Crying when you need to. Even if you're embarrassed to cry, crying is a release of pinned up emotion that everyone was built with the capacity to do. It's fine and quite cleansing to let out tears when they well up in your eyes. It doesn't make you any less strong or mature to cry. It's a natural response to overwhelming emotion (whether happy or sad), and it's all OK. Crying also moves you to a more upstream vibration if you're vibrating at the lower end of the emotional scale, because it helps you to move beyond what could have been holding you back.
Taking a break. I used to be guilty of this one a lot. Life can get a bit challenging and complex when a lot of things are happening simultaneously. Many times we're expected to just push through and "suck it up." If we do this too much, our body will shut us down in the most seemingly inopportune time. It's more healthy and beneficial to literally stop every once and a while to breathe, to let your hair down, to relax, to rejuvenate. It's necessary. It's part of our body's natural rhythm. When we disrupt this, we can break down our bodies' defenses and become more susceptible to sickness. Take a load off. You deserve it every once and a while especially when you know you're moving in the right direction.
Being alone. Being by yourself is not a bad thing. Taking some alone time to get quiet and at peace with the Oneness that IS and around you is a treat! It's a gift from Source to be able to connect and communicate directly with whom and where all of your help comes from. It gives you the space to tap more into your intuitive gifts and really hear what it is that's calling you.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, relish in the opportunity to spoil and cherish
meet only your listen to only your requests..... and to tend to only your needs.
Take the time to pamper and really love on yourself. You'll be more equipped to share later.
Change. This is the ONE thing in life that is consistent. Change always occurs and we as humans need to be sensitive and flexible to change. It may be a bit uncomfortable to impose abrupt changes on another person's life when you're involved in the change, but oftentimes change is very necessary for survival, peace of mind, help, strength, hope and faith. When you make a decision, at the time that you make it, you should do so with certainty and have your reasons why. But don't be afraid to change your mind. You have the right to do so especially if you learned something after your decision that could save you lots of heart ache in the long-run.
Listen to your gut and trust your intuition. If change is coming, welcome it.
Saying "no." This is a gigantic one. Saying "no" sets boundaries, and why should we have to apologize for protecting ourselves? Sure, it may hurt your significant other's feelings to say no to a request that they earnestly may want a "yes." too. If the "yes" causes you to compromise integrity, your spirit, your trust, your values, your truth or anything that means a whole lot more to you, then saying "no" shouldn't be something that you regret later. When you say "no," as with everything else in this post, really mean it and have your reason for why you said it.
Make sure it has weight.
These are the 7 instances that have become most apparent in my life. What are other things you feel you shouldn't have to apologize for?