RSS Feed (xml)

Powered By

Skin Design:
Free Blogger Skins

Powered by Blogger

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


All the parts of the human body work together, although each one has its especial part to do. The stomach must have a time to rest between meals. The other parts of the body require rest, too. This they usually get while we are asleep. We must not be neglectful and fail to give them enough rest, or they will soon get worn out and give us trouble.

Sometimes, when people are not well or are all tired out, they find they cannot sleep well at night. There are a number of little things that can be done to induce sleep. A warm bath before retiring, followed by a gentle massage, especially along the spine, often will, by relaxing the nerves and muscles, produce very good results. A hot foot bath, which draws the blood away from the brain, frequently will be found beneficial. A glass of hot milk or cocoa, taken just before retiring, often will have the same effect. If the sleeplessness is a result of indigestion, a plain diet will relieve. Sleeping upon a hard bed without any pillow sometimes produces the desired effect. Always have plenty of fresh air in the room. Keep the mind free from the cares of the day. If they will intrude, crowd them out by repeating something else some soothing sentence or bit of poetry. One good plan is to close the left nostril by pressing on it with the finger, then take four deep breaths through the right nostril. Then close the right nostril and take four deep breaths through the left one. Repeat this about four times. Then breathe slowly through both nostrils, but count your breaths. You seldom will count very many. Never take any sleeping powders or tablets except upon the advice of a physician, for they usually contain drugs that will injure the heart.

You will find that you will meet a number of men who are nervous, which means they have not control of their nerves, but let them run away with them. Sometimes this is shown in palpitation of the heart, headache, backache, and many other disorders. There may be a tendency to cry at trivial things, or a feeling of having "the blues." The cause usually can be found in uncongenial surroundings or occupation, loss of friends, or real or fancied troubles. Whatever the cause, it should be removed, if possible, and measures taken to restore the worn out nerves that are crying for rest or food. Tonics help, so does nourishing food, such as eggs and milk; also a change of scene and occupation, if possible. A man who is nervous frequently does not realize what is the cause of his condition, and considers only the symptoms. So when he has a headache, resorts to medicine. In taking these she only is deadening the pain and not removing the cause, so the pain is liable to return.

Friday, April 25, 2008

What Change Really Requires

I have done so much research and reading articles on Self-Help because I desperately wanted to make personal changes in my life, but what I have discovered is that if you are serious about making lasting changes in your life, you have to really go and dig deep into your life and rediscover your authentic self. And in order to do this you need to ask yourself questions – hard questions and you need to be completely honest with yourself when answering, so I recommend getting a book, writing the questions down and answering them, but obviously this book is meant to be private so hide it away if you don’t want anyone taking a peek.

You need to take a serious look at yourself and figure out what you really and truly want in life and if you haven’t got what you want, then why haven’t you got what you want? For some it might be “circumstances”, abuse, shyness, low-self esteem, little or no self-confidence etc. For me it was a low self esteem (due to physical and mental abuse from a partner), and very little self-confidence. But as I started to dig deeper, I realized that the self esteem was a problem before the abusive partner (because had I, had the healthy self esteem I would never have let him treat me the way he did and for so long). So that in itself forced me to dig deeper. Not always discovering the most pleasant of things but forcing myself to deal with them and move on, plenty of times I wanted to just forget about the hard questions and move on, but if you don’t deal with some of the hard stuff you’ll be stuck until you deal with it.

Once I started figuring out where everything started going off track I at least had an idea as to why I am who I am today and why I choose the behaviours I choose and that is the point where you start to make the necessary changes in your life. When you look back you will see certain “situations” and the choices you made, and being more mature now, you will see that often the choices you made were just plain dumb or stupid, I know because I’m talking from experience. Learn to give yourself some time before making a decision or choice about anything in your life because the choices you make are more than likely going to impact your life later on and learn to give yourself a chance in this life. Stop being so hard on yourself and expecting perfection in everything, I am convinced that 99.9% of us expect way too much from ourselves and when we don’t achieve what we want first time or something isn’t perfect the first time then we come down on ourselves like a ton of bricks, and the sad part is that many of you don’t realize you are doing it, it may be consciously or subconsciously. Take time to look at what is happening and why.

My saving grace came at a very low point in my life, I purchased a copy of the book
How to Manifest a Miracle by Gary Evans, mainly because I just wanted a damn miracle in my life, something to give me a reason to carry on living. Well I really want to recommend this book to anyone who isn’t living the life they truly want, because it was such an eye opener for me and the best part is that his step by step details are the easiest to follow, doesn’t take hours out of your day and when doing what he suggests you start to feel good about yourself again. This book now comes in a package with mp3 audio’s, worksheets, a workbook, videos etc and is an absolute awesome package for anyone wanting to change any part of their lives.

I am currently working with worksheets and books called Success Mindset Secrets which can be found at all I did was sign up for the free ecourse and books (under free stuff). The questions in the worksheets book are tough, some are a piece of cake but others are tough and requires a little digging into your past. I am not an affiliate for Mind Power Marketing, I don’t get a cent from them but I know that these books and worksheets can give you an idea of the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself. But at the same time I would urge you to purchase How to Manifest a Miracle by Gary Evans, it’s a low once off price that is worth it’s weight in gold if you are serious about changing your life.

Asking yourself the hard questions and rediscovering your authentic self and rediscovering your dreams is a life journey I would encourage you all to take, remembering there will be things you won’t particularly want to remember but it is essential for a change for the better. I am still on this life journey and enjoying every minute of it, because my life is changing in so many different ways in so many areas. All I can say is stop settling for second best, you deserve better and can have better.

Books available at:
How to Manifest a Miracle

I sincerely hope that this article has given you the motivation or inspiration to go ahead and make the changes in order to live a more fulfilling life.

Changing Habits to Improve your Personal Life

Habits, oh those nasty habits. Habits are developed from training, influences, observation, and practice. We develop many habits throughout our life, which some are good and others are bad. Good habits we can keep, but if one wants to improve their life the bad habits has to take a hike. Getting rid of bad habits however is not easy, especially if an addiction is involved. For this reason, we can take a few steps to learning how you can change your habits.

Making excuses:
People wander through life making excuses. Anytime a person sees something complicated, they will often make excuses why they cannot deal with the problem. “This is just the way I am.” This is a common problem in the world, which we’ve all heard billions of times. If you are out to improve your life however, you need to say, “This is something that hinders me from achievement and I have the power to change it.

The first key to success is stop making excuses. Learn how to tell the truth. The truth is the only answer that leads you to improve your personal life. Once you learn to tell the truth, you will need to commit self to learning new behaviors and habits.

You can commit by choosing a new habit. Today I plan to drink more water. Some of us detest water, yet water is our way of living healthier. Instead of detesting something that will save your life, start saying, today I will drink more water. Even if you start out drinking a glass for the first couple of days, you are making changes.

Today I am going to stop judging others and myself. This is a common mistake people make in the world. They spend time judging others and themselves. This gets them nowhere but in a world of chaos. You make your bed, you must learn to sleep in it, which is why you should change your ways. Judging is only for our Master in the sky.

Do you think negative? I can’t change this. My life is full of nonsense, I can’t swing it anymore. Why me? Who put a tag on my head, saying persecute me. If you spend your life thinking negative and saying negative connotations, try changing your ways today. For instance, say, I can change something and I am going to. Instead of saying life is full of nonsense, accept it as truth yet move ahead to make your life better. Why me is a common question, which no one knows why, yet we have to accept it, make better decisions and move ahead. If you feel persecuted, ask you what you are doing that makes you feel this way. Do you have friends or family members weighing you down? If so, then kick their butt down the road and make new friends. No one in life is worth you suffering ongoing. You have the power to make changes, yet you do not have the power to change other people.

When you start to make changes to improve your life, start small. Instead of jumping the gun, take baby steps to success. Too many times people try to change overnight. This only leads to frustration.

When you are working to change your life and habits make sure you seek support and feedback. You do not have to walk the road to success alone. Feedback is found at your library, the Internet, at colleges, and so on. You will find support along these channels as well. Ask someone you trust to support you and give you feedback when needed also.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Accomplishing Your Dreams Requires Balance

Achieving balance in our lives is accomplished by saying no when we need to and learning to set boundaries and prioritizing. We cannot achieve balance without understanding what our particular needs are and therefore remembering that balance is different for everyone. It means that you have identified your priorities and have not overextended yourself. Balance means you are aware of the dangers of burnout. and that when asked the question, "Are you happy?" you can answer yes.

The following are 4 core values to live by
#1 No Guilt Allowed
One of the biggest struggles for women today is learning to say no without feeling guilty. Guilt will only hold you back from many of the goals you want to accomplish if you let it. Guilt doesn't make you a better mother, or employee, or even more fit. Most of us know this, yet we still allow ourselves to fester in guilt. Guilt actually creates an imbalance in your life because you are left with feelings of inadequacy.
From now on when guilt creeps into your life take action by noticing that the emotion is present and replace it with positive choices or joy as quickly as you can. As you retrain yourself to get rid of the guilt, you will notice how much easier it gets to move forward and accomplish your goals.
#2 Embrace Positive Choices
"The art of positive choices helps you to create the life you want. Positive choices help you to discover what truly makes you happy and realign your priorities. Life is a series of additions and subtractions. You control the calculator."
~ Gail McMeekin ~
Achieving balance in your life is being able to make positive choices. What are positive choices - these are choices that propel you forward, they benefit your mind, your body, and your soul. These choices allow you to feel productive and focused because they are in alignment with what you really want to do on a daily basis. And remember - how we live our days is indeed how we live our lives.
#3 Cultivating Moments of Pure Joy
"The worst sin-perhaps the only sin-passion can commit, is to be joyless."
~ Dorothy Sayers ~
One of the best things I personally ever did was follow my heart when EVERYONE else thought I was crazy. The first time I did this-I was scared, but at the time I was so miserable, I didn't really feel like I had a choice. From that experience I learned to trust my gut and I learned that to follow my dreams meant that I was the architect of my life and that it was actually up to me to cultivate moments of pure joy in my life. For me - that means I spend most of my time either doing what I want to, having fun or I am in the process of creating. Creating - for me is writing or helping others. To follow your dreams-you will have to take giant leaps and be willing to get your hands dirty before you learn how to cultivate a life full of joy.
#4 Practice Conscious Living
Another core value that will help you achieve balance is to practice conscious living.
People who achieve their dreams do it with a plan. They start out simply doing something they are passionate about, but eventually to achieve substantial results, they have to sit down and map out a plan. They make changes in their lives and begin to live in a very conscious way. They begin to pay attention to what they say yes and no to. They begin to choose how they react to negative people and situations. They begin to consciously choose to surround themselves with other people who had fun accomplishing their dreams. They decide to be disciplined about their choices and they also choose to consciously enjoy every moment they can going forward.
From today, begin to practice conscious living, make sure you aren’t living on autopilot. How do we know if we are on autopilot??? Sometimes making excuses or blaming others can be sign. Sometimes situations in our lives or behaviours learned in childhood can be why we don’t know how to live in a conscious way. I love the phrase “You do better when you know better”. Don’t look back, just look forward and don’t wait another minute, another day or another week or year to get busy living your life in a way that feels good or joyful to you.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Abusive Relationships - Are You In One?

Today I have decided to tackle a whole new topic, one that unfortunately is far too common now days and not reported enough. This is one place I too have been but for me I am not a victim but rather I survivor. I lost everything but I got out with my life and that’s what counts.

Without realizing how, in many cases a well-nurtured relationship too can take a dramatic and violent turn and become what is commonly known as an abusive relationship. Violence of any type, irrespective of whom it is aimed at, is an act to be abhorred.

Although men too are caught on the wrong side sometimes, in majority of the cases it is women who bear the brunt and suffer in abusive relationships. Such instances that often result in death have perpetrated even when the woman is known to be pregnant. It is an established fact that most of the violent crimes are committed by known people. It could be a boyfriend, husband, or a close associate. Admittedly, acts of violence against girls and women as a result of an abusive relationship are far greater in number as compared to those for men.

Abusive relationships have the potential of manifesting in different forms. Each one of them can prove to be more traumatic than the other. Physical violence in most cases is curable but the mental torture takes a bigger toll since it can emotionally break down a person. It plays havoc with the life of the victim and the results can be disastrous, causing depression and other related psychiatric problems. Extreme mental distress in its worst manifestation leaves indelible scars that in many cases are incurable.

The menace of abusive relationships, in the shape of the proverbial sword of Damocles looms large over girls and women of all ages. The saddest part of it all is that in majority of the cases, the oppressed hesitates to trust and confide in parents, friends, or associates with the situation she has been caught in. This could be due to fear of further antagonizing the oppressor or a feeling of being unprotected. In some cases, young women and girls keep on enduring an abusive relationship under the erroneous feeling of love toward the assailant.

Seeing the growth in such crimes against women, it is our bounden duty to educate our young daughters, sisters, and friends as to how to handle such situations. We need to instill in their minds that trying to hold on to a dead relationship will be of no benefit and that the best solution is to take corrective measures or get out of the relationship totally.

However, abusive relationships are not easy to notice. If you want to safeguard your daughter or friend against abusive relationships, you need to play a significant role. First of all be alert and try to analyze any substantial change in behavior in our loved ones. It is good to have a relationship that makes it easy for them to confide. Be sure to lend a sympathetic ear, support them, and help and protect them in all circumstances.

Friday, April 18, 2008

"Enlightenment" Your 7 days program to Positive thinking

I'm sure you have a bright idea hidden somewhere in the back of your mind that you just can't wait to test out. Of course you're not the only one with the bright idea. So what motivates you to churn those creative, or even inspiring juices to its utmost flavor?

It's always best to set up a personal goal where you can accomplish the most in record time, maybe like mowing the lawn in an hour before the big game on TV. A correct and positive attitude in whatever you do will make things easier, and even enjoyable.

Here are some tips to make it through the week even if you're just sitting in your favorite couch. An idea takes time to form in your head and is always at work while you are busy sitting.
Having a bit of positive thinking can help you realize things that are never thought possible.

1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap. Action = deposits in the bank of a passionately authentic future. Without it, passion is void.

This is a perfect example where dreams are made of where you start by tinkering with your mind, then with your hands. And if the idea weakens, you can always go back to it later until you finish it.

2. Commit to yourself as well as those you love to create powerfully a life you can love. Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart and soul, out of love rather than fear. The American Dream will always be there, but a dream will still be a dream without motion. Be amazed as the transformation begins.

3. Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome. Every time you hit on something that may appear too extreme, why not give it a shot and see if it will work. You will be surprised to see of there are other ways to get the task done in time. If you are not pleased with the outcome, decide to use that moment to learn from and make the appropriate shift.

4. Dwell completely in a place of gratitude. Learn to utilize what you have in your hands and make use of it in the most constructive way. Slipping into neediness will become less of a habit when you repeatedly shift towards gratitude, away from poverty consciousness.

5. Use a Passion Formula of Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda whirlwind. The former is based in increased knowledge and abundance while the latter focuses on scarcity and lack. As you face people or tasks that may seem harder than scaling the summit of the Himalayas, allow yourself to realize that the task is just as important as giving out orders to your subordinates. You would rather be richly passionate!

6. Keep humor at the forefront of thought, laughing at and with yourself when possible. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! I am yet to see a comedian ever go hungry even though his jokes are as 'old as great-grandma'. Life has so much to offer to allow you to mope around in self pity. Humor is very attractive, very passionate: life-giving.

7. Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. No one can take your passionate future from you except for you! Create your life authentically. As long as there's still breath in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime. The concept of thinking big is all about enjoying your work, which would lead to celebrate a discovery that is born within your hands. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision.

It's interesting how people get wallowed up by something trivial as learning to use a computer, when nowadays that top computer companies are manufacturing software that even the kids can do it. I don't mean to be condescending, but that's the idea of not having any positive thinking in your life-you'll just end up as a dim bulb in a dark corner. So instead of subjecting yourself to what you will be doomed for, make your path by taking the first step with a positive attitude.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Learn to Solve Your Problems

How much percentage in a class of 30 students would agree with you that Maths is a great subject? You might answer “around 10 to 35%” and that is all. True, most kids today are not thrilled to solve Mathematical equations not because they do not know the processes involved, but because of the lack of interest in it.

In a similar way, our daily activities do not mean 100% joy and 0% problems. At times, we have more problems than joy. Fortunately, some individual are skilled in handling problems right. Want to know their secrets?

Well, carefree people, as some might call them, have one thing in common: optimism. These kinds of people do not mean they never had problems before. Try remembering a colleague, a relative, a friend, or someone from your community who has the brightest smile at the start until the end of the day. How many times did you see that person frown? Carefree people are fun to be with because their attitude is contagious. Have you tried asking them how they carry their problems lightly? Below are their secrets:

1. Learn to control your feelings by separating negative feelings from positive thoughts. This is the first step in solving problems. Only after you have cleared your mind with unnecessary thoughts can you start solving your problems accordingly.

2. Treat each problem as challenge and opportunity for self-improvement.

3. Free that scapegoat attitude. Are you pointing your finger or blaming others for mishaps? Take responsibilities for your mistakes. No one is perfect, so never put the blames on others.

4. Use a pen and paper, and rate the depth of the problem and possible answers to your problem. Probability law principle will allow you to evaluate how far you have thought of resolving your problems.

5. Keep a journal and treat it as a “secret friend” who is always willing to listen to your grievances. Write your feelings freely.

6. Develop a noteworthy hobby, for this will help you lessen or minimize stress in your life.

7. Take time off from work and create variations of your daily schedule. Relax and check out the best movies in town. Travel and meet new wonderful people. You will find these activities worthwhile in the long run.

The above tips will help you optimize those positive feelings of yours. Say you are already consumed by some problems. Here are the 1-2-3 steps in doing your problem solving:

1. Determine the root cause of the problem. If you think it is difficult, ask hundreds of why’s and what’s and you will soon find out the cause.

2. Think, strategize, and act for resolution.

3. Develop a strong desire to solve the problem.

4. Review the situation for you to avoid repeating the same mistakes committed beforehand.

Consider that everybody experiences lowliness many times, but problems are problems. They are there not to annoy you; but problems are created when you cannot accept your limitations. Once you accept your limitations, problem solving is just a 1-2-3 step, hassle-free, and a life-sharpening experience indeed. Hence, never consume or lock yourself in your room when problem strikes. Think that problems are states of your being limited to something you need the most. But if you cannot have that important thing, accept it. Let go and you will free yourself with worries. Remember, less worries mean less problems. If you think that you really want some time out because of problems, consider that there is another room available for you called “improvement.”

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

3 of the Biggest Mistakes That Can Sabotage Your Success

Here are three of the biggest mistakes that can sabotage your success. The good news is that they can be easily remedied.

#1 Not taking action
Often it isn’t a case of not knowing what to do but rather indecisiveness. It’s like the story of the donkey which starved to death all because he couldn’t decide whether to eat the apple or the pear,
When you don’t make a decision or you choose to avoid making a decision you remain stuck. It’s only by making the decision and taking the action needed that you are able to move forward or make some form of progress. People often fear making the wrong decision but who’s to say what is right or wrong. Obviously we are not talking about moral issues or values here. If you make a wrong decision then just make a new decision.
The quality of our lives is not based only on the quality of the decisions we make but also by the number of decisions we make. The more decisions we make means we take more action and once we do that we begin to make more progress.
People can also remain stuck or inactive because they think for some reason that there actions won’t be great enough to make a difference. However, we need to remember that taking baby steps and forging forward will eventually bring us to the desired results.
"Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well." By Jim Rohn
In the movie, "The Shawshank Redemption", Andy Dufresne (played by Tim Robbins) managed to break through the wall of his cell by chipping away at the plaster bit by bit. It took him years but the reward was great - FREEDOM!
Now, Andy would never have succeeded if he didn’t have the right tool and the tool may have been small but it was the right tool for the job.

#2: Not having the right information
We live in an age where we are overwhelmed with information. We experience an information overload. The problem is that much of the information we receive can be misleading or just plain inaccurate.
And therefore it is vitally important to know where to find information you can trust.
Another problem is, and as strange as it may sound, we often do not seek expert advice. Yes, even advice from some “experts” may be wrong but we often don’t help ourselves by seeking advice from people who know nothing on the topic we are seeking advice from.
Sometimes those individuals will be quick to say they are not an expert in that field but at the same time others will nonetheless persist in giving their “expert” opinion. And let’s face it this does not help us in progressing forward, instead it creates a “bump” in the road.
So, to make the fastest progress in the shortest possible time, discover the best sources of information for whatever you are aiming to learn and stick to those sources.

#3: Not having an accountability partner
An accountability partner is someone who holds you accountable for your actions.
So, if for example, you attend a live training seminar or workshop, it helps to take your partner, your spouse or a very good friend with you. These are the individuals with whom you are going to have to interact with once the training is over and the harder, and hopefully more rewarding, work begins.
If they accompany you, they will have a better idea as to what is actually involved in the goals you have set for yourself and they will, more than likely, set goals for themselves too. You can then encourage and help each other overcome any obstacles that you might encounter.
When you are the only one that knows what goal you have set for yourself it becomes so easy to slack off when perhaps the going gets a little tough, but when you have accountability you’ll be more motivated to push through with your goals because you don’t want to be seen as a “failure” in someone else’s eyes.
One of the most effective accountability partnerships is when two or more of you have the same goal, this is where you will all want to pull your own weight.
When Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen were promoting "Chicken Soup for the Soul" they had a grueling schedule of back-to-back interviews. Mark Victor Hansen admits he was close to quitting at one stage but that Jack helped to spur him on.
When choosing an accountability partner you want some one who believes in you and who is not afraid to tell you the truth - even when it hurts.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


Everything that happens to us happens in purpose. And sometimes, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures, treat them as your teachers and they will become your tools in both self improvement and success.I remember watching Patch Adams – its my favorite movie, actually. Its one great film that will help you improve yourself. Hunter “patch” Adams is a medical student who failed to make it through the board exams. After months of suffering in melancholy, depression and suicidal attempts – he decided to seek for medical attention and voluntarily admitted himself in a psychiatric ward. His months of stay in the hospital led him to meeting different kinds of people. Sick people in that matter. He met a catatonic, a mentally retarded, a schizophrenic and so on. Patch found ways of treating his own ailment and finally realized he has to get back on track. He woke up one morning realizing that after all the failure and pains he has gone through, he still want to become the a doctor. He carries with himself a positive attitude that brought him self improvement and success. He didn’t only improved himself, but also the life of the people around him and the quality of life. Did he succeed? Needless to say, he became the best damn doctor his country has ever known.So, when does self improvement become synonymous with success? Where do we start? Take these tips, friends…*Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?*When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self improvement, not self pitying. Self acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.*When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them move up. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.*The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a science quiz. There’s always a next time. Make rooms for self improvement.*Take things one at a time. You don’t expect black sheep’s to be goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self improvement is a one day at a time process.*Self improvement results to inner stability, personality development and dig this …. SUCCESS. It comes from self confidence, self appreciation and self esteem.* Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self improvement doesn’t turn you to be the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. It hopes and aims to result to an improved and better YOU.*Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Smith something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we’re being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.*When you’re willing to accept change and go through the process of self improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is. The world is a place where people of different values and attitude hang out. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self improvement.We should always remember that there’s no such thing as ‘over night success’. Its always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for. A very nice quote says that “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, colleagues, officemates, neighbors… they are our teachers. When we open our doors for self improvement, we increase our chances to head to the road of success.

Monday, April 14, 2008

How To Determine What You Want In Life

What do you really want in life?

Most people don’t discover what they want in life until it’s time to die – and that’s a shame.

Most people spend the best years of their lives watching television or doing things they dislike. An author described humanity by saying, “Most people die at twenty and are buried at eighty.” Are you one of the living zombies?

What do you really want in life?

Some people struggle in answering this question. When asked what they want or what their goals in life are, many are unsure. They dillydally in their decision, hardly giving any thought about what they want in life. People without definite goals are letting time pass them by. Are you one of these people?

If you are undecided about what you want out of life, do not worry. There are many ways of discovering your purpose in life.

To discover what you want in life, try looking deep into your heart. Oftentimes, people are ruled by logic. People live by what they think they should be or by what others like them to be. The discovery process is the perfect time to listen to your heart. What your heart desires comes from the whispers of your authentic self. Your authentic self is the real you.

Listen to your heart to be able to listen to your authentic self. What your heart says usually feels right. What your heart desires is what you usually love to do and this represents your passion. Anything done with passion is like play where the task is accomplished without hesitation. You pour out your very best and feel no pressure or resistance.

You will totally enjoy doing things that are your passion. Setbacks, difficulties, and obstacles will make it more challenging, but should not deter you from pursuing your goals. Naturally, there may be barriers that may prevent you from reaching your goal, but your heart’s desire will find ways to overcome these barriers so that you may ultimately get what you want in life. Remember this: the universe supports people who are pursuing their passion and those who are pursuing their destiny.

However, this does not mean that you don’t use your head. People are born with both the mind and heart. Your duty is to live your best life and be in harmony with your mind and heart. The poet Rumi wisely said, “Live completely in the head and you cannot feel the breath and rhythm of life. Live completely in the heart and you may find yourself acting like a love-struck fool with poor judgment and discipline. It’s all a fine balance - the head and heart must forge a lifetime partnership if one wants to live a beautiful life.”

Listen to your instinct. Part of human nature is the mysterious and spontaneous reaction on things. Often times, these are called instincts. Your authentic self communicates with you and guides you via instincts. Instincts are those gentle nudges that urge you to act and follow a certain path. Your role then is to listen attentively.

Often times, we listen to what others say and allow them to run our lives. Parents often do this to their children. “We come from a family of doctors, so my son must also be a doctor.” How often do we hear this from parents who have good intentions for their children? Parents unconsciously block the true expression of their child’s real self and calling. Friends and critics will discourage you and point out the impossibility of your dream. Before heeding their advice, evaluate the accomplishments of the critics. Did they achieve theirs dreams? Do they dream big at all?

Remember, it is your destiny that is in line, not theirs. It doesn’t mean, though, that you will not listen to what other people say. Hear them out just the same. But the final decision should be yours.

There is only thing to remember: Every person, to live truly and greatly, must define how he wants to live and what his brightest life will look like. Listen to your instincts and follow your heart’s desire. You will never go wrong.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Menu for an Upbeat Life

Just like set menus from restaurants wherein different kinds of foods are served - from appetizers, to main dishes, to desserts - life also has its menu for an upbeat life. Different people have their own individual menu that makes them cheerful and optimistic. Find out what they are; they may help to keep your life meaningful, enjoyable, inspiring, and interesting. Consider the following:

Help the needy, the poor, the handicapped, the ailing, the broken-hearted, the homeless, the lost, and the environment. The list can go on. When you help the needy - in services, monetary value, or other forms (lending a shoulder to cry on or an understanding ear to listen to other people’s problems) - the returns are ten folds over. However, don’t expect anything in return. Just the contentment you experience in your heart is an incomparably satisfying feeling. Giving something wholeheartedly without expecting anything in return is divine. Imagine yourself as the person on the receiving end. You can’t wait to return the favor once you get the opportunity to do so.

Another way to enjoy life is to listen to music. Play your good old favorite songs and sing along. Sing your best. Sing carelessly or out of tune - whatever it takes to make your heart contented and whatever makes you laugh. Just hum the tune if you don’t remember the words. Sing until you laugh heartily. The idea is to cheer up. Do this in private with your close friends or relatives though. You don’t want to annoy your neighbors.

The sound of nature is also music. The sound of river flowing, the gust of wind on a tree branch, waves on the seashore, and birds chirping are as natural as nature can be, and the way music should be. The sound of nature can make you optimistic because it is a beautiful and serene sound.

Let’s face reality. Life has its share of troubles, disasters, and misfortunes. Bad news exists and it disturbs the mind. Totally ignoring it may not always be the answer to approach life in a realistic manner. However, you can always find ways to avoid being affected by it to maintain the dominance of life’s beauty.

A party without humor and laughter is a dull one. The same is true in real life. Fill your life with lots of humor and laughter to keep it upbeat. The more spontaneous a humorous situation is, the more natural it is, and the better it can liven up your spirits.

Look at the lessons that can be derived from misfortunes. Mistakes allow you to learn and see opportunities hidden behind adversities. Always find meaning from every event in your life. See through the shell game and value every lesson that you learn.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Take It Easy and Enjoy Life

Can you remember your childhood days? During those times, nothing yet seemed complicated – all we had to think about were crayons, cookies, or Santa Claus. We didn’t care about the things we didn’t know because we were just too oblivious of the things that might bother us.

But as we grow older, we get anxious with the things that surround us – life and death, loving and parting, success and failure, to name a few. We find that almost everyday, we are obliged to be concerned about people or events.

Nevertheless, always keep this in mind: Don’t take things as if they are responsible for the way you feel. Events or situations do not trouble you. How you look at them does.

If you miss those carefree days, you just have to look back at how you used to view things then, and you will know what to do now. Here’s a guide to make sure you won’t lose your way:

Cherish the simple things: Trust in the power of a smile or laughter, a kiss or a hug. Believe in kindness, honesty, dreams, and imagination. Living positively is the first step to becoming happy.

Loosen up. Laugh at your mistakes. You might remember the time when you were delivering your speech and your mind went completely blank right in the middle of delivering it. It’s embarrassing. But most likely, your audience will forget about it in a day or two. We all mess up occasionally. The good thing is that people tend to forget such situations.

Surround yourself with what you love. Get a pet. Retain film moments as keepsakes. Keep away from those that drag you down. If that high-paying job makes you sulk at the thought of having to go to work, find a job you like first before quitting. If some people force you to comply even if you think of doing otherwise, stay away from their company.

Don’t put off. Go on that trip. Take your Master’s. You’ll never know the extent of your life. Do something, while you can.

Don’t push yourself too hard trying to please everyone. You just can’t. And it never seems to be worth it anyway. When you want to make somebody’s day, start with your loved ones.

Keep fit. Be that attractive person you always picture yourself to be. Cherish your health. It’s the best way of showing you are putting your best face forward.

Do not assume. Don’t fret about forgetting your speech before you actually do it. Don’t worry about not getting the job you want because you might mess up at the interview. It’s good to expect the worst; but don’t end up expecting only the worst.

Alter your way of thinking. When you’re being ridiculed, criticized about your family background, or condemned for past mistakes, put on deaf ears. Don’t believe everything you hear. You know yourself better than everybody else does. Never wallow in self-pity.

Remember: Don’t get upset over things just because it’s how most people would react when faced with the same situation. When you find yourself being negative – angry, down, jealous, etc. – you also unknowingly drain your energy and enthusiasm. You just have to try keeping these negative feelings in the low, because giving in to these emotions would sometimes make you unreasonable, and you might end up making bad decisions.

Happiness is always in your grasp. You can attain it, as long as you know how.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Positive Reflections will Help Improve your Personal Life

If you want, to change your old habits into new habits you can but you will have to let go of all your old habits. For some of us it is hard to change, yet if you take steps to learn ways to change you will find positive reflections.
Many people are brought up lying to themselves and others. This happens because we are plagued by a world filled with opinions, philosophy, theories, suspicion, guesses, and conclusions. You have to learn how to find your own truth before you can improve your life.
What are some of the things I can do to change my bad ways to good ways?This is going to be completely up to you. I can only offer you helpful tips, but it takes you to try out new tactics that helps you to grow. Here is where you need to figure out what works best for you and to do it. No one can change you, but you. when your ready to do this you can do this with out any ones help. You can learn to build the inner gifts you have within you. The qualities you have include self-esteem, confidence, trust, self-awareness, self-motivation and so on. each quality you can build to improve your personal life. You have to figure out what works for you.
For one thing, you need to decide what is making you do what you do and figure out a way to do the right thing. So if it is the people you hang out with maybe you should find some one else to hang with. Maybe people from a support group or a group from your church can help you find ways to change your habits. The first things you have to do however, are stop lying to your self about what ever and make it right with you. You have to learn how to make good decisions by evaluating the consequences.
It is easier than you believe. For instance, would you allow a drunk person drive you home? If you would then you made a bad decision that could cost your life, or have you tossed in jail. If you are sober, why not drive the drunk person home.
Positive reflections include friends and family. If your family members are dragging you down, or your friends are holding you back, you have to make a choice. The choice may include removing these people from your life. We can all live productively and happy without family and friends if need be, but one thing you don’t want is someone holding you back.
To develop new skills that guide you to remove bad habits, try using your conscious mind. When you observe, listen and hear the things around you, you learn more than you would reading a book. Observation is the key to achieve. Observation, includes self-awareness. Stand back and take a hard look at you. Do not persecute or self-judge, rather look for ways to make your life better.
Do you smoke? Smoking is the number one reason that people get lung cancer. Smoking is not good for you. If you can quite on your own, great, yet if you need help, ask. (I for one am still battling this demon, so don't feel alone).
Do you drink excessively? Do you know the side effects of drinking excessively? If not visit the Internet and learn more about what alcohol can do to you. On the other hand, if you can control alcohol, drink three drinks per week. Studies has shown that drinking three alcohol beverages weekly can reduce the risks of heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease and so on. If you take drugs, you want to find a way to take control of your life also.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Giving Your All

The act of giving your very best to the needy can likewise cultivate the best emotional satisfaction in your heart. Whatever form of help you extend, be it service or something of value, you will undoubtedly receive something better in return.

Is there anything better than a simple “thank you” that is meant with sincerity? Is there anything better than an appreciation that makes you feel needed and important? Is there anything better than to see smiles on other people’s faces for having made them feel equally important and cared for?

If your physical resources are limited, you can put your talent or creativity to work. Your urge to help those in need should inspire you to find ways in accumulating resources to actualize your intention. You can come up with ideas to generate more money through fund raising programs. You may also give more of your time doing volunteer service.

In the process of giving your all, your cooperation, attention, and entire being need not be strained. You may get physically exhausted; but emotionally, you will be charged with a heart full of compliments, making you feel all-important. You will feel revitalized and invigorated. You will become more enthusiastic. All these occur because you love what you’re doing.

When you set your mind to work for a good cause, you are actually tapping and activating power that promotes health in every corner of your physical, psychological, and emotional being. Your emotions will run high in a positive manner. You will feel sentimentally contented with what you are doing. You will feel as though you’re the highest paid executive in the business; not because you’re being paid with money, but because you’re being paid with your own sense of fulfillment.

Oh yes………….when you give your all, the best will bounce back to you.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Powers of a Positive Attitude

I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let's say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer to number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here's another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn't end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. Projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what's not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Taking A Look At Depression!!!

Today I’d like to discuss a rather serious topic, one that is close to my heart as I have been there – Depression. The reason I want to talk about this is because I suffered from severe depression for the last 10 – 15 years of my life, but I could not go for treatment or see anyone professionally because I did not have medical aid or the finances to do it privately. I fought this on my own, but it got progressively worse over the years until I eventually contemplated suicide and attempted it a few times. I basically checked out of life, I did not want to go anywhere or do anything, I lost interest in everything. I would wake up in the mornings to go to work, I only worked until 2pm so then I would go home, switch on my TV and get on my bed, if there was nothing worth watching I’d just go to sleep until dinner time, after dinner I would just watch TV and then go to bed again.

When it came to the weekends I would sleep as late as I possibly could in the mornings, sometimes not even getting dressed and just stayed in my room all day, I wouldn’t even go outside into the garden. I’d spend my hours either watching television or just playing useless games on the pc. I did not want to be around people because I never thought I had anything to contribute, the few friends I did have I pushed away by never accepting invitations to visit or attend birthdays etc, eventually they stopped calling, stopped extending invites, before I knew it I found myself totally alone with just myself for company and considering I didn’t like myself very much that wasn’t much fun. But before I share with you how I got rid of my depression I want to look deeper into this subject so that we can understand it better as some of you out there may still be suffering and if this blog can help even just one person it will be well worth it.

What is a depressive disorder??? A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue or bad mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better as many of you would like to think. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.

Depressive disorders come in different forms. There are several different diagnoses for depression, mostly determined by the intensity of the symptoms, the duration of the symptoms, and the specific cause of the symptoms, if that is known.

Major Depression - This is the most serious type of depression, in terms of number of symptoms and severity of symptoms, but there are significant individual differences in the symptoms and severity. You do not need to feel suicidal to have a major depression, and you do not need to have a history of hospitalizations either, although both of these factors are present in some people with major depression. There is no official diagnosis of "moderate depression."

Dysthymic Disorder - This refers to a low to moderate level of depression that persists for at least two years, and often longer. While the symptoms are not as severe as a major depression, they are more enduring and resistant to treatment. Some people with dysthymia develop a major depression at some time during the course of their depression.

Unspecified Depression - This category is used to help researchers who are studying other specific types of depression, and do not want their data confounded with marginal diagnoses. It includes people with a serious depression, but not quite severe enough to have a diagnosis of a major depression. It also includes people with chronic, moderate depression, which has not been present long enough for a diagnosis of a Dysthymic disorder. (You get the idea!)

Adjustment Disorder, with Depression - This category describes depression that occurs in response to a major life stressor or crisis.

Bipolar Depression - This type includes both high and low mood swings, as well as a variety of other significant symptoms not present in other depressions.

There are also many causes of depression. You may have heard people talk about chemical imbalances in the brain that occur in depression, suggesting that depression is a medical illness, without psychological causes. However, all psychological problems have some physical manifestations, and all physical illnesses have psychological components as well. In fact, the chemical imbalances that occur during depression usually disappear when you complete psychotherapy for depression, without taking any medications to correct the imbalance. This suggests that the imbalance is the body's physical response to psychological depression, rather than the other way around.

Some types of depression do seem to run in families, suggesting a biological vulnerability. This seems to be the case with bipolar depression and, to a lesser degree, severe major depression. Studies of families, in which members of each generation develop bipolar disorder, found that those with bipolar disorder have a somewhat different genetic makeup than those who are not diagnosed.

However, the reverse is not true. Not everybody with the genetic makeup that causes this vulnerability to bipolar disorder develops the disorder. Additional factors, such as stress and other psychological factors are involved in its onset as well. Likewise, major depression also seems to occur, generation after generation, in some families, but not with a frequency that suggests clear biological causes. Additionally, it also occurs in people who have no family history of depression. So, while there may be some biological factors that contribute to depression, it is clearly a psychological disorder.

A variety of psychological factors appear to play a role in vulnerability to these severe forms of depression. Most likely, psychological factors are completely responsible for other forms of mild and moderate depression, especially reactive depression. Reactive depression is usually diagnosed as an adjustment disorder during treatment.

People who have low self-esteem, who consistently view themselves and the world with pessimism, or who are readily overwhelmed by stress are more prone to depression.

Psychologists often describe social learning factors as being significant in the development of depression, as well as other psychological problems. People learn both adaptive and maladaptive ways of managing stress and responding to life problems within their family, educational, social and work environments. These environmental factors influence psychological development, and the way people try to resolve problems when they occur. Social learning factors also explain why psychological problems appear to occur more often in family members, from generation to generation. If a child grows up in a pessimistic environment, in which discouragement is common and encouragement is rare, that child will develop a vulnerability to depression as well.
A serious loss, chronic illness, relationship problems, work stress, family crisis, financial setback, or any unwelcome life change can trigger a depressive episode. Very often, a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors are involved in the development of depressive disorders, as well as other psychological problems. When you feel depressed, and don't know where to turn, talk to someone who can help.... a psychologist.

Women are more likely to become depressed than men.

What Every Woman Should Know About Depression
Life is full of emotional ups and downs. But when the "down" times are long lasting or interfere with an individual's ability to function, that person may be suffering from a common, but serious psychological problem - depression.

Clinical depression affects your physical well-being, resulting in chronic fatigue, sleep problems, and changes in appetite. It affects your mood, with feelings of sadness, emptiness, hopelessness and dysphoria. It affects the way you think, interfering with concentration and decision making. And, it affects your behavior, with increased irritability and loss of temper, social withdrawal, and a reduction in your desire to engage in pleasurable activities.

Research indicates that in the United States more than 17 million people experience depression each year, and nearly two thirds do not get the help they need. Proper treatment would alleviate the symptoms in over 80 percent of the cases. Yet, because depression is often unrecognized, depressed individuals often continue to suffer needlessly.

Women are almost twice as likely as men to experience depression. Research continues to explore how this psychological problem affects women. At the same time, it is important for women to increase their awareness of what is already known about depression, so that they seek early and appropriate treatment.

Find and understand depression
Finding the root of depression or problems that lead to the depression is essential to eliminating the sense of sadness. This root can be anywhere from child birth to your current life situation. Depression is a form of pain that shows up when something is wrong or unhealthy. Pain is nature’s way of saying, "Some thing is wrong", and if you don't fix it, you will feel depressed and it won't stop bothering you until you fix that problem. Most of the time, as soon as problems or a problem is resolved.. depression goes away.

I thought I was better off dead, I didn’t think anyone would miss me and if they did so what, life goes on and they’d manage – that is a selfish way to think because whether we like it or not there is someone who will be left behind and will not understand and more than likely will blame themselves. I had the attitude of thinking well it’s fine and well that those left behind will see it as a selfish act but aren’t they being selfish for wanting us to carry on living in this state. But I can see now that there is hope because I have been there and I do understand but I can also say that there are ways to get rid of it. I’m not saying it’s easy and I’m not saying that everything will change overnight, I still have my “bad” days but at least now I know how to cope with it and change the way I feel.

I tried many programs online, bought many products only to lose a lot of money because everything is sold in Dollars and being from South Africa it was a problem as the Rand/Dollar exchange rate has always been a little high, so I know there are scams out there, been there and fallen for them and I can understand your skepticism when you hear about these amazing ways to cure all etc… I don’t want to tell you to what to buy or what to do, you need to find what works for you, but I will tell you that I purchased a package called “How to Manifest a Miracle”, this book proved to be the turning point for me, I managed to get rid of my depression within a month of purchasing it, I now go for walks in the afternoons instead of “vegetating” in my room, I go to the malls and walk around and have started going out with some old friends again, I look forward to each new day because I know and expect new opportunities to be present everyday.

I just have a very different outlook on life and myself, I chose to work on myself first and foremost and then to work on other areas of my life. And now that I have said goodbye to the depression I can live again. I am not saying that this book will work for everyone but it worked for me so feel free to check it out and decide for yourself. But if you are suffering from severe depression and have been thinking suicidal thoughts then quite frankly I don’t think you’ve got anything to lose, but always remember to take it one step at a time, one day at a time. I know this has been a pretty long blog but my most sincere reason for writing is this that I am hoping it will help someone who may be needing this. Be strong, don’t give up!!!!!!!!


Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Getting flunked grades make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassments. It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves. With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated?
Try on these tips prepared from A to Z…
A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
B - Believe in your self, and in what you can do.
C – Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.
D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.
E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.
F – Family and Friends – are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t loose sight of them.
G – Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things.
H – Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.
I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people to get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people – the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success.
J – Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
K – keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.
L – Learn to love your self. Now isn’t that easy?
M – Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes.
N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.
O – Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways – how they want things to be, and how they should be.
P – Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.
Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate – are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?
R – Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark.
S – Stop procrastinating.
T – Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement.
U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.
V – Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.
W – Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.
X – X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.
Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once.
Z – Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!!


So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World
ViewLook at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down.
When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’.

The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Think Growth

The name is of little importance. Names such as self-growth, education, keeping up with the Joneses in your job, financially and socially, all center on your own personal growth. It all starts with you.

If you know your situations, understand them and what they mean to you, and you are satisfied and content with them, then you can stop reading here. But if there is a nagging to become better, to achieve more, to gain more for self and for your family, and to calm that inner nagging, then you need to think about personal growth.

Is that inner nagging obscured by too many dinners, too many parties, too much time attending ball games ? On the other side, do you become tired by idleness, and restless, by sitting around twiddling your thumbs while watching television ? Then personal growth may be what you need.So what is personal growth ? Silly question ? Maybe. It is growing self with more knowledge, greater useful activity, and rewarding achievements. One result is greater self-esteem. Another is greater value to others whether it be family, employers, friends, or customers for your business.

As stated earlier, it begins with you.

1. You must consider yourself, and decide whether you need to grow self, and in what areas. Others can suggest areas for improvement, but it is you that must decide which areas you will improve. And do not be fooled about ability. The brain, when you apply it, works well until the day you die.

2. The next step is to determine where you can obtain solid material for growth in the area you have chosen. It may mean returning to school for selected courses or even a degree program. It may mean spending a lot of time in a library. It may mean attending quality seminars given by professional organizations. It can also mean spending time with a recognized expert even if you have to buy him dinner or take him or her to a ball game.

3. Once the plan for growth is laid out, then it is time to put it into action. This is when you may be separated from friends while you are growing. At this point there may be a need to spend money, though considerable can be gained with little or no costs through reading quality relevant literature, or attending free seminars. This is the time to stand up for self, and for all those about you who will eventually benefit from your growth even if they do not see it at the moment.

4. As you gain knowledge, and understand it, begin using it. Start by applying it in every area of your life where it is useful. Practice it humbly, that is, without being snooty or with aloof ness. Think about all who are contributing to your growth, and the knowledge gained, and be humble by it.

5. Perhaps about half way through your plan commence looking at possibilities for a promotion, for a better job, or for improved sales in your business. Writers, for example, may be able to apply learning almost immediately.

6. As you complete your growth plan you may realize that you want, and even need, to change careers, or sell the old business and start a new one. Do not, however, allow this activity to cause any slacking off on your growth plan. Finish it.

7. Once you have completed your growth plan then go full tilt at securing a new job, a promotion, performing your present activity better, or whatever you have planned. Do not quit your present income activity until the new one is secured, however.

8. Make no mistake about personal growth. It may require the sweat that goes with the labor of getting it done.

All successful activity and efforts requires persistent effort until it is completed. That is true for personal growth also. Lax effort may yield some gain, but it will not yield the full potential. Only full application of what you have learned through patient persistence, and the sweat of the labors involved will be rewarding.

Remember that anyone can grow. Age is not a factor in mental acquisition of knowledge and learning, or its use.

"A Piece of Blarney Stone" 10 ways to empower your communication

The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab. Yeah, it seems strange in this day and age, but who are we to question tradition?
It's not like I'm saying that Santa Claus doesn't exist (OOPS!). There is so much to know about conversation that anyone, even I, could ever realize. You can go though watching talk shows; radio programs; clubs dedicated to public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words. It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it's your mouth that's doing the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out a lot of things you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communication is to know the very person closest to you: yourself.
1. What you know
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you've learned. My stint as guest at every Toastmasters' meeting I go to taught me that we all have our limitations, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to keep up and share what we know.
2. Listening
It's just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach us to be a little bit confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.
3. Humility
We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means, but rarely use it only to impress listeners. So in a group, don't be afraid to ask if you're saying the right word properly and if they're unsure about it then make a joke out of it. I promise you it'll make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.
4. Eye Contact
There's a lot to say when it comes to directing your attention to your audience with an eye-catching gaze. It's important that you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, even though he or she may be gorgeous.
5. Kidding around
A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech. That way, you'll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they'll feel that you're just as approachable, and as human to those who listen.
6. Be like the rest of them
Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You'll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what people make them as they are.
7. Me, Myself, and I
Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do! Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And while you're at it you can spruce up as well.
8. With a smile
A smile says it all much like eye contact. There's no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it's a wake. You can better express what you're saying when you smile.
9. A Role Model
There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they're at a public gathering or maybe at church. Sure they read their lines, but taking a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.
10. Preparation
Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes and often in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while other resort to being a little more silly as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Just be comfortable with what you know since you enjoy your work.And that about wraps it up. These suggestions are rather amateurish in edgewise, but I've learned to empower myself when it comes to public or private speaking and it never hurts to be with people to listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational.

Thursday, April 3, 2008


Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap us up, we always come up with the idea of “I wish I was somebody else.” More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us.- when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.

You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a martini. You think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read through her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone?... Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Jeepers… what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself in the mirror and murmurs to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad can still work things out.”
Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and thinks the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is the last to know.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she’s around, and she doesn’t notices how badly she became socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in her environment.

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when we are together?”. In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve herself.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself are a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-class citizens. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

Visualization And Weight Loss

The surprising fact is that many conditions can be improved by visualization and weight loss is one of them. It works like this: you keep a vision in your mind of how you want your body to look, and subconsciously you will begin acting in a way that will go in that direction. You become much more positive about your body, more accepting of your diet or fitness regime, and you will reach your weight goals more quickly and easily.

Effecting change through visualizing desired outcomes has become more and more acceptable in recent years. Psychologists do not understand exactly how it works but clearly the mind and body are not as separate as we often believe. It seems that if you truly want something it is more likely to happen - provided of course that it is something that is possible, and within your control. Visualization helps us to truly want to lose weight by creating a clear and happy picture of our fitter bodies. Without this we can often put psychological traps in our own path.

Many people who are overweight believe they cannot lose weight. Sometimes you may say it out loud, or hear friends say it about themselves. For other people this belief stays in the subconscious. But it is sure that it influences our behavior. Someone who believes it is impossible for her to lose weight will be constantly battling her own negativity when she is trying to diet. Her mind will be constantly telling her there is no point dieting, she cannot lose weight so she should just go ahead and eat everything she wants. Visualization is the strongest technique that we can use to overcome these negative thoughts and impulses.

If you are plagued by negativity either from your own mind or from the reactions of friends and family to your diet, go ahead and visualize yourself at your desired weight as often as you can. It works on the same level as all those negative voices and can annihilate their influence like nothing else can.

It is important to practice every day - morning and evening if you can. You just need to take a few minutes in a quiet place and keep an image in your mind of your body at its ideal weight. Some people can do this easily, others need some help. If you have a photograph of yourself at your ideal weight in the past, you may find it easier to look at that. Or use a photo from a magazine but cut off the person's face. You need to visualize your own body, but thinner.

You can also visualize from the inside. Close your eyes and let your awareness focus on a part of your body - for example, your right thigh. Imagine it slowly becoming thinner in your mind's eye. Then move to the other thigh, and on through the body. It may help to start at the feet and move up towards the head, or vice versa.

As you go about your work or daily chores, think of yourself as already at your ideal weight. Create your own affirmations and repeat them often, always in the present tense ("I am glad to be flexible, fit and slim", not "I will ..."). Enjoy the feeling of having a positive self-image. Over time, this will help you to keep to your weight loss plan. You will find that fatty foods are less attractive and exercise is more enjoyable.

While your weight loss will of course be gradual, the wonderful thing about visualization is that it gives you a new body image right away. Use visualization and weight loss to make you happier right now, today!