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Friday, April 17, 2009

Drowning in Overwhelm? Get the 2 Step Approach to Keeping Your Head Above Water

Does this sound like your mantra? "I'm drowning in the sea of Overwhelm and I can't seem to get everything done, and I don't understand it. I don't think I'm a People Pleaser though."
Okay, this is one of those 'Wake up, Alice this ain't Wonderland' moments. I keep telling you that People Pleasing runs deep. It runs so far into your inner core that you don't even realize when it is happening much less see a solution to the problem.

As women, we were taught at an early age to be nurturers and servers. As a matter of fact, our worth was measured by it. We did what was asked and we never asked questions. For a lot of us, myself included, we didn't even realize that there were any options or another choice. The sad thing about this phenomenon is that women keep beating themselves up thinking that there is something wrong with them. STOP RIGHT NOW! There is nothing wrong with you. Being in the state of overwhelm is not terminal. You do have choices and you can change.

It took me a lot of years, to realize that the majority of my overwhelm and frustration was created by me. Imagine that. I was so busy nurturing and serving others that I didn't take me or my needs seriously. Consequently, I kept shooting myself in the foot and my 'To Do' list kept growing.

If you are in OVERWHELM, it means two things:

1. You are not setting boundaries. How many of your activities are choices and how many are should's? Should's are those things you are doing because you are too afraid to say NO. Heaven forbid that you would hurt someone else's feelings by uttering that 2 letter word. Helloooo, that would be People Pleasing. For example, just because you have an open door policy in your office doesn't mean that you have to be the doormat. You are allowed to close the door and set some guidelines around interruptions. You will get a whole lot more accomplished in your day. And you will be roll modeling professionalism and leadership. Start eliminating some of the should's in your day and see how much space you open up.

2. You are not making requests and asking for the support you need. How many times have you said to yourself, "I really don't want to ask someone, I'll just do it myself. It will be faster anyway." Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be a martyr. You can ask for support. And usually people are quite willing to help. Remember, if you are going to be up to big things in your life, you will have to learn the art of making requests and delegating some of those responsibilities.

Learning how to set boundaries and make requests is the key to getting rid of being overwhelmed, overcommitted, and overpowered and onto more productivity, more profit, and more power in your life NOW. You do have a choice and you can change.