RSS Feed (xml)

Powered By

Skin Design:
Free Blogger Skins

Powered by Blogger

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Do you want to be RIGHT or HAPPY????

This is a blog I posted back in December 2006 and thought it could still be posted here today because I still stand by it, but please remember that these are my opinions and you certainly do not have to agree with them....

If I take a long hard look at past relationships I’ve had, then that question is not all that difficult to figure out. I personally thing most failed relationships stem from people wanting to be right instead of wanting to be happy. Let’s face it, the majority of us are always trying to be the one who has the last say in an argument and half the time the argument is over something rather pathetic and small. I am talking from experience here, I always wanted the last word and I was always right – newsflash – half the time I wasn’t right, but that wasn’t going to stop me and I’m sure many of you are the same. But I have learnt that always being right didn’t make me a happier person, in fact it made me more miserable and I can’t tell you how many relationships went out of the window because of this. I have learnt that each and every person is different, we are all unique and not to mention the most important of all – men and women are different and that’s a fact so Build a bridge and get over it. Once we learn how to deal with and accept our differences the happier we will be. Yes, we can compromise certain aspects for each other but not at the expense of our being who we truly are.

I’d like to share with the women out there what I have learnt when it comes to having a healthy relationship with a man. I will even tell you all the things I did wrong, some of you may see yourselves doing the wrong things I did. Lets face it men are totally different to women. Men like to fart, burp, drink and be totally annoying at times, most of them like their space and that means spending time with their friends – the boys, and last but not least the famous toilet seat saga that never ends.

We’ll start with the drinking, when my partner would start drinking it wasn’t long before I was picking him out for being too loud or for just being a total embarrassment and just a certain look I would give was warning enough that I was becoming irritated and just that would get him building up for the fight that was about to happen. How many of us give the guys a hard time when they start to have a few drinks – most of us, because we are embarrassed perhaps by their behaviour or things they say. Well I have now learnt to just leave them alone when they have a few drinks, now I just laugh at them and guess what, now they don’t get aggressive, there is no fighting and they pass out a lot quicker to sleep it off, but don’t get me wrong if they are getting aggressive or abusive while drinking then it’s time to kick them to the curb, but I have not had that problem since I’ve just left them to drink, if they go out with the boys and come home totally intoxicated don’t give them a mouthful, it won’t do any good anyway because it will just escalate into a fight and who needs that just before you want to go to sleep, rather let him just sleep it off (on the couch that is) and be thankful that he is home and in one piece, again don’t get me wrong but in order for him to go out with the boys there needs to be that trust between you and if you know he will remain faithful to you then you’ve got nothing to worry about but if he has been unfaithful in the past it is a little more difficult to want to allow him to go with the boys, but if he has been unfaithful in the past, what the hell are you thinking girl, what the heck are you doing with him still??? You deserve so much better than a man who cheats on you.

Now the farting and burping I think they do that just to get a reaction out of us and normally we give them the exact reaction they are looking for, now I turn it around on them, if they fart, I acknowledge it and say to them ‘bet your next fart won’t be as loud or something like, I’ve heard you do better ones than that’ it certainly does turn the tables on them and it can be quite funny too sometimes because they really don’t expect that kind of a reaction.
Now for the toilet seat – really girls, let it go – that’s one battle you will never win but lets turn the tables now, men don’t bitch and moan when they have to go in and lift the seat, we certainly don’t lift the seat after we’ve been, knowing full well that they’ll probably be the next one to use the toilet before we have to return there, personally I find the whole toilet seat thing to be trivial and of no importance, there are far more important things in life than the toilet seat. I admit I was also guilty when it came to this topic, I would walk into the bathroom, see the toilet seat up and practically slam it down so that he heard it and got the message, but it didn’t do any good and I had to replace a toilet seat as well – but only once.

I have also learnt that if you have a problem with something your guy has done, don’t ever pick him out in front of others whether they’re his friends, co-workers or whoever, wait until you are alone and talk it out and never belittle him in front of others even if it seems to be a harmless joke to you, that’s a sure fire way to lose him because as much as they like to joke that we have a memory like an elephant, their memories aren’t as bad as they make out, they remember, but the difference is when they remember they add all the memories together and when they do explode watch out.

I used to get into a fight or argument and my tone of voice would kind of raise, guess what, that doesn’t work either, screaming and shouting is a waste of energy and nothing is solved by getting into a screaming match. I’ve discovered that if you sit down and talk things out quietly and rationally, that way maintaining your dignity, you get a lot further with them and things between you do actually start to improve. I have discovered that if you show a man respect without compromising your dignity when sorting out a problem they have and show you lot more respect and you are both far happier people, so you see being right all the time is not the way to being happy. Decide whether you want to be - right or happy!!!!!!