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Saturday, March 15, 2008


This was my first blog post that I posted on myspace and facebook toward the end of January 2008, I am busy with an update to this one and it will be posted here shortly.

I read a book recently by Robin McGraw (the wife of famous Dr Phil McGraw) also titled “Inside My Heart” and if I have to be honest it was one of my better reads in a long time. But who of us really knows what’s in our hearts. I think we can only become to know what is in our hearts when we finally discover who we are, by that I mean taking a good hard look at our authentic selves. Once we do that there is a very good chance that we may not like what we have become or find out, but it is a journey that many of us need to take in order to get to where we really want to be in life. I am pretty sure that each and every person that reads this is unhappy with at least and I say at “least” one aspect of their lives, probably more. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, there is always something we are not happy with in our lives.

What I am about to share, may come as a shock to some of you, but I am no longer ashamed and if by posting this blog even if I only help 1 or 2 people it will be well worth it. Some stuff is personal but it’s what is needed to get the point across.

I recently decided to embark on this journey of self discovery and believe you me I am not liking some of the things I am discovering, but the secret is to deal with what you don’t like and to change it or carry on living a life you are unhappy with.

I am one of those people who suffers from severe depression, I have for the past 10 -15 years but have never seen a professional because not being on a medical aid I cannot afford to see one, so I have gone through life battling it on my own, have attempted suicide numerable times but fortunately not succeeded. I got to a point where I started reading up on depression and realized I was in a dangerous place if I did not find some kind of help. I heard about “The Secret by Rhonda Brynes”, bought the book and read it, but could not get my negative thoughts to just “shut-up” I simply could not figure out how to apply The Secret to my life, but continued to look up all the information I could on meditation and how to change my thoughts etc.

I subscribed to numerous “newsletters” on the law of attraction but still could not apply myself. On Christmas Eve of 2007 I was at one of my lowest points, I lay in my bed sobbing and begging God for a Christmas miracle as I could not go on like this, I just simply wanted to die.

As I lay sobbing begging God for help I felt this strange calm come over me, almost immediately I had stopped sobbing, even my breathing had returned to normal, I felt calmer and eventually drifted off to sleep, pretty confident that finally God was going to come through for me. Well Christmas came and went and so did the New Year, still no miracle, no change. I was tired of crying myself to sleep at night begging God for help but feeling like He just didn’t care, again suicide was a strong contemplation, but something said to me to go through my emails (I always keep all my emails that I subscribe to) and thank goodness I did. I came across my emails from a guy named Gary Evans; he is a firm believer in the law of attraction and has seen it work in his own life. He had sent me an email around the 18th of December 2007, saying he wouldn’t be sending anymore emails my way (I hadn’t responded to specials he had been offering and he needed to focus on those who had and wanted and needed his help), actually I hadn’t even read half those emails, just moved them to the folder where I kept his newsletters.

Anyway it was now the 6th of January 2008 and sure I’d missed the opportunity decided to purchase the e-book he was offering online hoping I’d still get it at the special price, I got the book called “Manifesting a Miracle by Gary Evans” and immediately started to read it (that is the nice thing about some online purchases, as soon as payment is received you can download the book immediately). This book talked about how to make yourself feel good and gave clear cut information on how to do this. Was this maybe the miracle I had been searching for? This book was basically telling me how to apply The Secret, how to feel good everyday.

You have to make it your intention to feel good, and when you start to think a negative thought you need to immediately counteract that thought with a positive one. That is not an easy thing to do when first starting out, but with practice it does become easier. You cannot analyze every thought you have, you have literally thousands of thoughts that go through your mind daily, some you don’t even realize you having, so just try to focus on
when you feeling good and a negative thought enters your mind, you will know because it will try to plant a seed of doubt into your mind about why you are feeling good.
I also found that annoying little voice that enters you mind, when you say you will get something or feel something that little voice tends to say “Yeah, right like that’s going to happen”, I still battle that little voice on a daily basis but the secret is to simply say to yourself “and why not, I do deserve it, I am worthy of it” etc. You will soon find that you start to feel good because in a way you have stood up for yourself and at the same time you are “confirming” that you are worthy, that you are deserving etc. As I said this does not all change overnight, but you will start to notice the changes. Since first reading this book, I have not had one day where I have felt really depressed, yes I’ve had an off day here and there but just focused on changing my thoughts, changing negatives into positives etc. But I can honestly say I have not cried myself to sleep once since starting this journey. You need to find a routine that works best for you, to make yourself feel good.

If you go to the link at the end of this blog you can purchase the book Manifesting a Miracle to get a good idea as how to make the necessary changes in your life. I am not saying that it will be the answer to everything but it is a good start to changing what you don’t like in your life.

So Inside My Heart I have discovered a journey of long overdue “self-discovery” and daily I am learning to love myself more and more, I now know that I am worthy even though I am not perfect I am worthy. I have learnt to accept myself, to change what I can and to live with the rest. It is a daily journey, but it is a good one and a necessary one and daily I still argue with that irritating little voice in the back of my mind, but that too is becoming less and less.

Take the chance and go on your own journey of self-discovery, accepting yourself, loving yourself, changing what you can and accepting what you can’t.

Work on making yourself feel good and I am positive that you will change your life around, or be happier for it. As Gary says in his book, how would you rather feel – good or bad, and most of us prefer feeling good, none of us enjoy feeling bad. Manifesting a Miracle is a book that I can recommend because I have read it and it has made a huge difference in my own life in fact I strongly recommend it.

To purchase the book just click on the link below: