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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A Feast For Fear

Fear is a persistent and insatiable guest who is hungry for something scary to eat. Today's financial headlines and emotionally charged news stories provide a banquet feast for fear.

Fear grows larger as it consumes more negativity. The bigger it gets, the more overwhelming and devouring it becomes. As it inflates, fear bullies us into feeling too vulnerable and victimized to do anything about it.

Like most bullies, fear does not have any real power. Though loud and intimidating, fear is powerless to do anything but scream in our ear and shake up our system. Fear only has power to the extent that we allow it to run our lives.

When you overfeed fear it becomes obese. Nothing else can fit in your house not love, not happiness, not friendship - Nothing. When terror rules your body and emotions, you can barely think. What can you do?

First realize that fear is a built in alarm system that comes with the house. You cannot get rid of it. You can put it on a low negativity diet and get it down to a reasonable size. I'm not suggesting a starvation diet. I am suggesting balancing a reasonable serving of speculative, negative news with heavy servings of reality check.

Fear will also feed on the negativity of others. If you can't get close to the negativity without feasting on it, then cut back on your contact. As you feel stronger, you can begin to influence those conversations. I'm reminded of Socrates, who when confronted with gossip would ask three questions. First, "Is what you're going to tell me true?" If the answer is no, then he would ask, "Is what you're going to tell me good?" If that answer is no, he would ask a third question, "Is what you're going to tell me useful?" If the person said no to all three questions, Socrates would ask, "Why would you tell me something that is not true, good or useful?"

When the alarm system in your house turns into a raving bully, you may need outside forces to get back in control. Find an experienced professional counselor or coach who can support you in confronting the bully of fear and resetting your alarm system.

Be aware! Fear is in the House with a ravenous appetite. Don't allow it to feast at the table of scarcity, negativity, anger, resentment and powerlessness. Limit its diet to low servings of negativity balanced with enriched reality check. Supplement with support as needed. Bon appetit!

Aila AccadLevel: BasicWith over 35 years of education and experience in the areas of Personal, Interpersonal and Organizational Growth, Aila Accad has synthesized a huge amount of ... ...
"copyright 2009 Aila Accad, RN at"


philly5113 said...

This is so true. If we allow fear to enter and take over the anxiety and reaction to the anxiety can really take us out of our frames.
Good advice. Stay strong and remember to stay true.